Chapter 32

Cheryl and Joe crashed as soon as they got home, stripped and lay down on the pull out bed in the study.

Next thing Joe knew, Joanna woke him cautiously. “Hey,” he whispered.

“Hi,” she smiled. “I should go. There’s a little bit of work if you can get to it.”

“Wait,” he said. “Give me a minute. Meet me in the kitchen.”

“Yes Joe.”

He went into the half bath and rinsed his mouth. Donning a robe over his naked body, he went to Joanna and embraced her, smiling at the kids on the way. And Shawna.

Hidden in the kitchen, Joe and Joanna kissed like lovers who missed each other. Like lovers who wanted to do more.

“Joe,” she sighed, one hand caressing his face, the other his waist where the robe had parted, the belt on it barely holding the lower part concealing his burgeoning cock.

“I love you,” he told her.

She smiled. “I love you.”

“Messed up your lipstick.”

“Easily fixed.”

“Shawna’s watching the kids?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s really taken by them.”

“She’d make a great mom. I should go.”

“Constance?”

“She headed down with Max and Caroline.”

He nodded. “Good for them.”

“I should go.”

“See you later.”

“Yes Joe.”

She stopped to gaze at him and for one last hug, her hand reaching lower, pulling on his ass. He pulled hers against him, squeezing a cheek while she squeezed his. He broke it, patting her butt. Their gaze finally ended and she stepped away. “Be good, kids,” she said just loud enough to be heard in the living room.

“Yes Mom,” they heard Essie say. And with one last glance at Joe, she headed out the door.

He leaned against the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. Hiding his hard on.

“Hello Angels,” he said.

“Hi Uncle Joe,” said Essie, looking up from her coloring book.

“Hi Uncle Joe,” Charlie parroted, in words and action.

Shawna got up from kneeling, also busy coloring, and came to him.

“I should take a shower,” he said when she got close.

“I can fix you breakfast,” Shawna offered, pulling him into the kitchen. “We already finished ours.”

“I can take care of that.”

“I don’t mind,” she said, and kissed him. Her hand slipped past the inner edges of his robe and took hold of his cock. “I missed this, and so did Joanne and Nige,” she purred. “It’s not as fun without it.” She let go and lifted her long nightie, and pulled off her panties, then took his hand to her pussy, the other with panties returned to his cock, rubbing it with the sleek fabric. “Feel what you do to me once I saw you returned.”

He felt her heat and juiciness.

“The kids...”

“They’re busy,” she said, sitting on a stool and pulling down her nightie, exposing her small, beautiful tits. Her hand reached down and pulled the hem up. Adjusting her sitting so that she sat on it, her legs spread wide, exposing her needy center. She took his cock and pulled it there, watching it enter her. He did too, feeling her heat and tightness embrace it. They both looked up and he pushed deeper and leaned into her and kissed her, silencing her moan.

“Shawna?” they heard Essie say.

Their lips instantly separated as did his cock from inside her. “Shit,” she murmured, and they both laughed. She made quick work of adjusting her nightie and he hid his cock behind the kitchen island before Essie walked in.

“What’s going on?” Essie asked.

“Just missing Joe,” said Shawna.

“I missed Joe too. You didn’t even come hug me,” Essie pouted.

“Too stinky,” he shrugged. “Shower than hug.”

“I guess.”

“What’s up?” Shawna asked her.

“I think Charlie needs to go to the bathroom.”

“I can take care of it,” he offered.

“No,” said Shawna, coming around to his side and handing him her panties. “You should do your thing.”

“What was that?” Essie asked Shawna. “You have something in your hand.”

“I don’t,” Shawna showed her her hands.

“You gave it to Joe!”

He laughed. “Go,” he told Shawna. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Good luck,” Shawna chuckled and left him to it.

“Show me,” Essie demanded.

So he did.

“Ish! Undies? Why did Shawna give you her undies?”

“How old are you?”

“Four. Five, uhm...”

“Next week.”

“Practically five.”

“Can I tell you when you’re practically ten?”

“Ten? That’s ages! Why?”

“Because it’s something five year olds shouldn’t be concerned with. It’s most definitely something they should have nothing to do with. It’s something you probably can’t really understand, because it’s not any part of who you are. When you grow up, it becomes more important, because it becomes something your body can do that a five year old body can’t.”

“I know. Making babies!”

“What makes you think that?” he asked, stunned.

“It’s what Daddy said when I saw them without undies. Him and Mommy. It was kind of scary, and Mommy and Daddy acted kind of scared, especially Mommy. But Daddy was scarier. He had this thing. I thought he was hurting Mommy with it. Like where Charlie has his pee pee, but so big! That’s what he said, and Mommy smiled and didn’t look hurt. But they didn’t.”

“They didn’t?”

“Make a baby.”

“Ah,” he said. “It’s called sex.”

“I know sex. Sexy. That’s like sex, right?”

“Sort of. What you saw, sometimes it can make babies. It’s how they actually happen. But when you grow up, it becomes something you really like, and if you don’t want to make babies, you can do things so a baby doesn’t happen. But it’s something for only grownups.”

“So he really wasn’t hurting her.”

“No. He was making her feel good, and she made him feel good.”

“What does that have to do with sexy? Like a picture of some lady, or in a movie or something?”

“It has to do with attraction. A woman can dress up to attract a man. Even how she moves. Or maybe she just feels like looking desirable. Like she can attract a man if she wants. You know peacocks,” he started. “Birds and bees,” he thought.

“Of course. Those beautiful fans of feathers.”

“It’s the male who has those. He shows those to attract a female, so...”

“They can make baby peacocks.”

“Right. If you look at birds, it’s almost always true that the male has the brightest plumage. The brightest colors.”

“To be sexy.”

“Yes.”

“But people...”

“Maybe we’re different. Maybe we’re not.”

“But women wear the most colors, don’t they?”

“True, but the man ultimately has to be the one displaying. Whether it be muscles, or clever wit, or just showing interest and appreciation. Because always it’s the woman who decides.”

“Why?”

“Look at me and look at Cheryl. Or even Shawna. If, god forbid, we got into a fight. Fistfight or wrestling. Who would probably win?”

“You. You’re bigger than them. But I heard women can fight too.”

“And probably beat me, because I’m not much of a fighter. But almost always men have the advantage.”

“Okay.”

“Which means if they want to have sex with a woman, they could probably do it without their permission.”

“I suppose.”

“That’s called rape, Essie. One of the worst things a man can do. Almost as bad as murder, and some might even think it’s just as bad.”

“So in order for a man to have babies with a woman, she has to give permission.”

“Yes.”

“She has to be attracted to him maybe even more than him being attracted to her.”

“I suppose, but its best when they’re both attracted to each other. And women can rape men. It’s just a heck of a lot more rare. But it isn’t just attraction. It’s permission. Always.”

“Okay,” she smiled. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For not lying to me.”

“I never want to lie to you, Essie. Though I was tempted this time.”

“Why?”

“Because sex is a grown up thing. Or at least a lot more grown up than you are. It’s also got a lot of problems.”

“What do you mean problems?”

“Well, I told you about rape. That’s a scary thing for any woman. And there’s other scary things.”

“Go on.”

“Like I said, it feels good. Maybe too good. Some people forget the consequences.”

“Consequences?” She struggled with the word.

“It means if you do something, other things you probably don’t want to happen can happen. Like a girl getting pregnant when she’s too young and immature and just unprepared to have a child. They can get rid of it...”

“A woman can get rid of her baby?” she asked, shocked.

“Uhm, maybe we shouldn’t talk about that.”

“Maybe not,” she pouted. “That’s terrible.”

“Yeah. Well. That’s something we can talk about in five years.”

“Or never.”

“Okay.”

“What else?”

“You know how someone you know has a cold, or worse, like the flu? And other people catch it. Even you?”

“Sure.”

“Sex is a lot closer than being around someone who coughs.”

“Like if you kissed someone who’s got a cold.”

“Exactly. But sometimes the person isn’t even coughing or sneezing.”

“They don’t know they’re sick.”

“Exactly.”

“And they’re close like Mommy and Daddy were.”

“Yes. And some of those diseases are really nasty.”

“It feels that good that you risk all that?”

“Sometimes.”

“I would hope all the time.”

He laughed. “Me too. But you can make it so it’s not scary.”

“How?”

“Probably the safest is for a man to wear something on his pee pee. You know a balloon before you blow into it?”

“Unh-hunh.”

“It’s like that. Big enough to fit, but tight enough to stay. It’s called a condom.”

“Condom. Are there other things?”

“The smartest probably is to be the first for both the man and woman so you know neither has been with others and gotten a bad disease. But even then, and for women in general, there’s ways for them to be protected. It all has to do with keeping from being pregnant.”

“No babies to get rid of,” she pouted. “I guess I can understand that.”

“Good.”

“Okay. So what would you have said?”

“What I would have said?”

“If you lied?”

He laughed. “Probably that she knew I was doing laundry and wanted me to wash it.”

“Like she had an accident?”

“Yeah.”

“Ish.”

“Some accidents are better than others,” he thought, and was tempted to sniff. Definitely not with Essie there. When she hopped off to the living room, he sniffed. Yum.

Of course Cheryl decided to enter the kitchen then. “Perv,” she smirked. “Want it from the source?”

“Uhm...”

“You said you were needing a shower.”

“Right.”

“I’ll watch the kids and make breakfast.”

“I suppose you can’t join us.”

“Tonight, after you fuck Joanne and Nige, you’re mine. And tomorrow.”

“Yes boss.”

“You complaining?”

“Not even a little.”

“Good. Go get wet,” she giggled.

“What about Julia?”

“We need to pick her up at the airport this evening.”

“And?”

“Jeez Joe. She might not even like you. I might entertain her while you entertain your ladies. We’ll see.”

“Okay.”

“I really want you to myself.”

“Me too.”

They smiled and shrugged and she giggled and he chuckled. “Go on, stud,” she said, patting his behind when it passed by.

He found Shawna sitting on the lid of the closed toilet. Long legs spread wide. Fingering her pussy. Caressing a nipple. He knelt on the bathroom rug and took over for her fingers with his lips and tongue. She let him for a minute before pushing him away. “Turn on the shower. I don’t want the kids to hear me shriek.”

“You feel a shriek coming on?”

“Yes Joe. A very loud shriek.”

Once he had it going full blast, he removed his robe and knelt again. Enjoyed her flavor again, with more of it to taste when her juices flowed over his tongue. She did indeed shriek. He retreated from her clit, but brought fingers to play, feeling her interior pulse against them. The g-spot became a focus, and stroking within the space of her opening. When he felt her sensitivity might have retreated, his oral attention returned to her clit.

About then she began guiding him onto his back, her taut round butt in front of his eyes as she leaned over him and took his cock into her mouth. Her concentration could have been better, but the warmth and the wetness and the sucking and licking brought out moans that reverberated against her pussy. A feedback event. Moans begat moans and so forth.

When she became even less focused, and her pussy became harder to target what with her undulations, she decided she needed something bigger and longer inside her, and made quick work of turning around and guiding him inside her. Once deep, her ride began slow while she shifted atop him. Eventually she found leaning forward and capturing his mouth with hers felt best. Her ride didn’t speed up much, but she dropped with more intensity, and lifted clinging to his cock. Like a fist, except it being her pussy, he was inside a hot and lively place that did all sorts of complex nudges and pulsations to further thrill him.

With their mouths busy, his fingers set to work on a nipple. She worked the other one. His left over hand reached between them and rubbed against her clit, fingers feeling his wet shaft sliding in and out of her.

The kiss ended when she needed to fill her gasping lungs. Her ride became faster as she hurried to an even more intense climax. His mouth took over for her fingers. A nibble, a squeeze, and a hard rub below brought her over, along with her unrestrained riding of his cock. Once fully seized by orgasm, stiffening and growling his name, he took things over. Grabbing her ass. Pulling down. Arching up. Upward pounding. Until he felt his orgasm take him, and he pulled her down hard against his pubic bone, crushing against hers and her clit. Shooting deep into her rippling insides. Her body trembling, continuing to be overwhelmed. Almost convulsive. As sustained an orgasm as he’d ever seen. Even with the last of his ejaculate done, she continued to have aftershocks travel through her body.

Her wide eyes looked down on him. Her rich mocha coloring tinged with red. “Joe,” she murmured.

“You were very needy,” he said.

“It’s never been like this,” she murmured. “And it always seems like it with you. It’s like my body is completely infatuated with you. Or more. My body loves you,” she laughed quietly. “And my mind loves Eddie. It doesn’t even matter if I love two men for two totally different reasons. That sex is for Eddie, for him to watch his girlfriends get excited by me. And sex is for me with you, exclusively, even though I love to see you exulted by the pleasure that you gave me. And I like you, Joe. You’re a good friend. But it’s so much a deeper friendship with Eddie. It’s crazy that I can have you both. The best of friends and the best of lovers. It’s never been better. But...” she sniffled.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he responded, “Except to tell you you’re an amazing woman. Beautiful. Sexy. Brilliant. And sweet. It’s more than a privilege to have met you. It’s been a profound honor to have met you and to have been with you. And I know Eddie feels the same way.”

“I’ll miss you both, but Eddie more.”

“I know. And he’ll miss you more than I will. But I will miss you.”

“I feel stronger because of you. Both of you.”

“I know.”

“This summer had been a disaster. It seemed to emphasize everything wrong with me. That I’m just this brain, this physicist in training, but everything else is a disaster. Boyfriend? It’s like we shared the same air is all. Friends because we happened to get along okay. Lovers because we’re friends of the opposite sex and what else to do with that. Like going through the motions of a relationship until we had enough. I felt like a brain trapped in a tall and gawky body. I felt like a stranger to everyone.

“Then I come home and Nige lets me into her life, like she did before, but I took that last step to have her let me in completely. The step that had kept me away, like everything else. To become intimate instead of just close. To not be alone. To really touch someone. To really share.

“I knew I liked women. That I’d rather be with them. That I’d find the greatest pleasure pleasuring them. But I wasn’t ready before. I was scared to get that close. I don’t even know why. Probably too self-conscious. Too insecure in my body. Thus the gawkiness. I never felt beautiful before I let myself go and just be with Nige. Making love. Being appreciated. And cuddling. Even that was at such a higher level of intimacy than I ever felt.

“And then she introduced me to you. And Cheryl,” she chuckled. “And Eddie. And I felt thoroughly appreciated. All of me. And loved. Completely. And beautiful. And totally free of any self-consciousness and insecurity. Who cares if I come off as tall and gawky?”

“You haven’t been,” he said. “Gawky I mean. You used to stoop. Like you were afraid to look someone in the eye. Or like you were keeping the world from bumping your head or something. It was quite a remarkable change. Your beauty just blossomed.”

“Really?”

“No one told you?”

She laughed. “The view of the world has seemed different. And Constance actually came up to me and told me I should take movement class at school. Something rudimentary because I’ve never taken dance before, but I should pursue it. Because she said I have presence. That if we’d have had more time, she would have loved to choreograph solo dances for me. Solo because I’d take all the attention. And because a guy would look ridiculous trying to lift me. Me a dancer,” she shook her head. “And she meant it.”

“Of course she did,” he said.

“Time,” she sighed. “I wish I’d just spent the summer here.”

“Me too,” he said. “Of course I didn’t meet Nigella until later.”

“True.”

“So...”

“Yeah. This is goodbye. I’ll hang out with Eddie for a little while whenever he gets his lazy butt up. But I’m heading east in a few days. And I really should spend some time with my family.”

“Yeah,” he said sadly. But then he smiled. “Shower first?”

“If there’s any hot water left,” she chuckled.

“Let’s find out.”

It was tepid going towards cold, so they made quick work of cleaning the places that got messy, at the same time giving them a fond goodbye. Leaning over to kiss the other’s genitals capped it. As did the last kiss they shared while he shut off the cold water. And the embrace.

He went naked into the study to put on clothes while she put hers on in the bathroom. She finished first and smiled as she left the room, heading upstairs. He took the typewriter and brought it out to the living room, Cheryl making room on the cluttered table. They kissed once he settled into his seat. Essie crawled into his lap for her kiss and hug.

“So?” asked Cheryl once his lap had been vacated.

“We said goodbye,” he said sadly, before sipping coffee and having a bite of the bagel and cream cheese Cheryl made for him.

“We just hugged. Morning breath. She apologized that she wanted you to ... say goodbye,” she glanced at the kids.

“I really think she’s turned a corner,” he said. “She’ll find someone, boy or girl...”

“Or both,” Cheryl giggled.

“But I don’t think she’ll just take what she gets. And I think she’ll find it easier to choose, because she’ll be more available and more beautiful.”

“But there’s only one of you.”

“Of you as well. And Eddie. I think her ideal mate would be someone who could talk to her easily, and who she enjoys talking to, and who she can share the enjoyment of each other’s bodies. Eddie and I combined.”

“I think it would work best with a couple, maybe the female completely bisexual.”

“But it couldn’t just be about the sex.”

“Maybe it could as a fling. She doesn’t need to settle down like us two,” she grinned and kissed him. “She should find out what certainty and finally embracing her beauty and sexiness feels like.”

“If she doesn’t revert back,” he said.

“Maybe she should be like Moe. Someone you can stay in contact with.”

“Or maybe that should be Eddie.”

“Or both of you. A shared project.”

“She’s not a project.”

“She is if you want her to be happy.”

“True,” he said. “I’ll make sure either Eddie or I have a way to contact her.”

“Or ask Nige,” Cheryl gestured to the stairs which Nigella finished descending. They both looked back at their mulatto friend.

She came to them. “Hey,” she smiled.

“Eddie with Shawna?” he asked.

“Yeah. You gave her what she wanted?” she chuckled.

“Yeah. Do you have a way of contacting her?”

“I told Shawn she should give it to Eddie. I told Eddie to be sure to get it. Hopefully one of them will figure it out.”

“Why don’t you grab a chair?” Cheryl suggested.

“I need coffee and nosh first. Give me a minute.”

“Sure,” Cheryl and Joe said.

Cheryl and Joe returned to work.

After setting her plate and coffee down on the coffee table, cluttered but large enough to accommodate, Nigella gave each of them a kiss before pulling the armchair up to the table.

“I hope you don’t think we’re being rude,” he explained. “Cheryl has a way of talking and writing simultaneously. I seemed to have gotten the knack of it. And I do need to work.”

“I could...”

“No Nige,” said Cheryl. “I think Joe really wants to talk to you. Just know we’re hearing you.”

“I could do the same thing,” she chuckled. “Grab my bass.”

“Go for it,” Cheryl grinned.

“Be right back.”

When she returned with the bass she got in Woodstock and began to play, Essie jumped to her feet. “Can I play too?” she asked.

“Sure kid,” Nigella grinned at her.

Essie went to the piano.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Me and Eddie showed her the piano. What notes to play. Mostly the white ones, but a couple she shouldn’t play, and a couple black ones she could. Basically C blues.” As she talked, she played, and Essie played notes too and giggled. “The little stinker snuck out at the after play party and watched us from the top of the stairs improvising and also Constance’s dance. She wanted to play like Eddie and dance like Constance. Eddie and I showed her the keys. She’s quick for a four year old.”

“Almost five,” Essie shouted.

“Yes she is,” he chuckled.

“So... ?” Nigella asked.

“I was just wondering about what you thought about what transpired when you brought Shawna here? She is your best friend after all, and Eddie’s kind of replaced you.”

“And you two,” Nigella chuckled. “I’m fine with it. Actually happy. Because I’ve never seen Shawn happier or more together. I mean, she really relaxed like I’d never seen when she finally decided to play with girls. With me. But the transformation was breathtaking when she got close to Eddie and to you two.”

“It was,” Cheryl agreed.

“But... , “ Joe started.

“You really don’t have to worry about it. I’m not jealous you and Eddie basically usurped my friend. I just don’t have those sorts of feelings about relationships. Friends or lovers. I make friends easy I guess, but I never get possessive about it. Even the close ones like Shawn and Moe. Speaking of which, did you guys get together?”

He laughed. “Cheryl made sure of it.”

“You really are a crazy bitch,” said Nigella.

“Thanks,” Cheryl grinned. “We had fun. And Joe landed another older woman.”

“Fucking stud,” Nigella muttered, then realized Essie and Charlie were there. “Sorry.”

“I’m sure Essie’s heard it before and will hear it again,” he chuckled.

“Heard what?” asked Essie.

“Never mind.”

“Am I playing alright?”

“You’re hitting a couple notes you shouldn’t,” said Nigella.

“Oh shoot,” said Essie.

“Not a problem. Let me show you.”

“Okay.”

“You get good at remembering, and I’ll show you other keys to play.”

“Okay!” Essie grinned.

Nigella showed Essie the arrangement of the keys to determine which to play and which to leave alone. She played some bass notes in a chord on the piano and Essie played the higher keys for a little while. “Okay?” asked Nigella.

“I think so.”

“Mistakes are good, Essie. We all learn from them.”

“But try not to?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Nigella returned to her seat and picked up her bass, playing simply and beautifully without paying much attention. Essie sounded better.

“Where were we?” Nigella asked.

“You and friends,” he cued her.

“Right. I always thought a real friend is happy for a friend being happy. It doesn’t have to be me. You go to a party with a friend. They go and have fun. You have fun on your own. Everyone has fun.

“Maybe part of it is I never let myself get attached. I never had a boyfriend, or a girlfriend for that matter. I guess I’m just too independent to be held to one person. And sex ... I guess it’s never been all that important to me. For one, I’m actually pretty sensitive, believe it or not, and it really gets uncomfortable being around someone for longer than whatever moment we had getting off. Just give me some ... fricking space! There’s exceptions. Moe. My little moment with Shawn. It’s like just cuddling with a friend and relaxing I guess. And Joanne’s been fun. Like a game, but one we both totally get into. And after, she’s just so sweet. I guess it’s the closest thing I’ve gotten to love. But even then, I’m okay if it doesn’t happen again. I’d miss it and just being there with her, but I’d be okay. Just let go and move on to the next adventure.

“So with Shawn, it’s like that. I know firsthand how good you could make it for her. Of course I wasn’t certain if she wanted to be with a man in the end, but you have a way of persuading, especially with Cheryl as a ringer,” she chuckled. “But I wasn’t really surprised when she went with it with gusto. And it made me happy how much more relaxed she became. And self-confident. You let her see herself through your eyes, Joe.”

“Maybe Cheryl more,” he grinned. “She practically worshipped that woman’s incredible body.”

“She’s delicious,” Cheryl agreed.

“I bet Shawna had a similar surprise with you,” Nigella chuckled.

“She did,” he agreed with his own chuckle.

“But Joe finally put it over how incredible sex can be,” said Cheryl. “What ecstasy feels like.”

“I know. Your fiancé blew my mind too.”

“I don’t think it was your mind that got blown,” Cheryl smirked.

“But it was,” Nigella grinned. “Along with the rest of me. Turns me into a puddle of pleasure, with nary a thought in sight.”

They laughed.

“But Eddie surprised me,” Nigella moved on. “I thought Joe’s idea of hooking her up with Simon and his little ménage would have been a natural progression to her opening up. Not that Eddie’s unintelligent.”

“He’s a lot smarter than he looks,” he chuckled.

“As smart as you I think,” said Nigella.

“I agree. But I think Shawna wanted to escape the menagerie of braniacs like her. There’s absolutely nothing sexy about discussing the mathematical proof of string theory. The opposite actually. A split between the mind and body.”

Nigella nodded. “And what she and Eddie talk about is...”

“Real,” Cheryl finished it.

“Like the verbal equivalent of flesh and blood,” Nigella agreed.

Two women came downstairs, one of them clomping and muttering, “Fucking bitch.” He should have figured they’d be in Eddie’s bed.

He rushed toward them, just to keep the cursing down. “Fuck you, Joe,” said Rachel before rushing out the door. He watched her scamper to her car, continuing her muttering, and locked the door.

He turned to the kitchen, where Sam grabbed the container of juice and some glasses. She poured one glass and drank it down before refilling it.

“Eddie kick Rachel out?” he guessed.

“Yeah,” Sam laughed. “And without getting hers. And I got mine from both sides.” She cut the remaining bagels and stuck them in the toaster oven. “Shawn ordering it, and getting me off, if you must know. Rachel’s bitching went over like a ton of bricks. I’m Shawn’s servant now, getting breakfast. I don’t mind.”

“And Shawna?”

“Last I saw, she’s getting him back up. She aims to fuck him for as long as possible, and then she wants to talk. She said I could hang out if I want, but she pretty much wants him to herself.”

“She’s saying goodbye,” he told her.

“Yeah. I got that. I really like her, Joe.”

“Me too.”

“Whatever,” Sam muttered. They definitely hadn’t improved their relationship. “You don’t know what to make of me,” she said, which surprised him. “I mean, I love Eddie. I think you figured that out. And there’s Rachel and now Shawn. But I learned something like Eddie learned something coming back to me. We feel whole together. Like we were meant to be together. Problem is, I can’t be a jealous cunt if I want to be with him. He needs his crazy bitch too. His drunken coke whore. She’s like his permanent groupie. Fucking his glorified cock and finding other skanks to fuck him and her. But Shawn? I mean he relaxes with me. Maybe because I’m such a good cocksucker, but we’re comfortable together. But Shawn brings him something I can’t. This ... really deep place. The way they talk. It’s just ... deep. Like they’re looking inside each other and finding things that need to be pulled out of their soul or something. It’s actually really intense. I wish it was me, but I’m really not at their level, am I. So I just ... listen. And there’s actually joy in that. In some ways I love her as much as Eddie does, because what she gives to Eddie and even what he gives to her. Because she really is sweet. Eddie deserves sweet after the couple cunts he’s around.”