Chapter 16

“So Eddie and Rachel,” Joe sighed, discussing the complication of the surprise visit to New York from his least favorite hometown girl. The morning after her invasion. In Joanne’s hotel room.

“And Cheryl and Mary,” Nigella added.

“Eddie with three girls? I don’t know if he could handle that.”

“You just handled four,” Moe pointed out.

“Oh yeah,” he smirked.

“Dickhead,” both Moe and Nigella said. Joanna wouldn’t dare, but she laughed. And nodded.

“But,” Nigella hesitated.

“What?” he asked.

“They brought another dick.”

“Who?”

“Cheryl was the lure.”

“I thought...” Moe started.

“She’s still with Eddie,” Joe reminded her. “And she’s not you.”

“And she’s not going to be with you if she...”

“Moe, I love her and she loves me, but she’s her own person. She’s still looking for a man who can fulfill her sexually at least, and hopefully in other ways.”

“Like you do.”

“But ... I might not even be with her in a month.”

“And you have me.”

“I actually don’t think that matters. She’s cool with Joanne and she’s cool with you.”

“So you think, if you do end up here, she’ll be a one dick girl like me?”

“I really don’t know, Moira. I don’t know if she’ll keep looking or she’ll just have some fun with some guy knowing she can always come home to me.”

“And me.”

“Yes.”

“Kind of like me with girls,” Moe pondered.

“I don’t know if it makes a difference,” Nigella interrupted, “but I’m pretty sure Rachel pointed out the guy to Cheryl.”

“To pawn her off like we did,” said Moe.

“Did Rachel think you’d be joining her and Eddie?” Joe asked Nigella.

Nigella shrugged. “She didn’t ask. I suppose that makes sense. Hoping Mary would go be with Cheryl and the dick and it would just be me and her with Eddie. She really doesn’t understand the dynamics.”

“She sees what she wants to see, to fit her agenda,” Joe said.

“So it seems. I hope Mary’s okay.”

“She’s a big girl. And she’s got Cheryl,” said Moe.

“Do you think Eddie will make sure she’s okay?” asked Nigella.

“You know?” Joe said, smiling. “Mary will be fine. Without you there...”

“Rachel will have an obedient pussy eater,” Nigella finished.

“And Mary will be in heaven,” said Moe. “Two fucks to watch.”

They laughed.

“Oh shit,” said Nigella. “When do we have to be at WBAI?”

“They want to tape at one so they can broadcast at 4:30,” Joanne informed them.

“So we have to be there by noon to at least set up.”

“And rehearse,” he added.

“What do you mean?” asked Joanne.

“Of course there won’t be any instruments just lying around,” he said.

“I’ve got my bass and a couple guitars,” said Nigella.

“And I still have my drum kit,” said Moe.

“I thought he’d just be acoustic,” said Joanne.

“To represent the Monsters on prime time radio?” he said.

“How else do you think it would have gone with just him out here?”

“True. And do you know what he did in Woodstock? Play his ukulele. He gets nervous. He’d just say fuck it and fuck it up. On purpose instead of what he’s afraid it would be. You should have heard him in Stony Brook. He wailed, Joanne. If he thinks it’s the way you set it up...”

“But what about the busking and the in store?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he just thinks of it as a lark. Begging like a bum.”

“Or maybe he’s gotten his nerve. Maybe he’s okay with it.”

“Maybe you’re right. But it still wouldn’t be the Monsters. You want to sell him at his best?”

“Okay. Okay. You can do this. If you all converge with instruments, the worst that can happen is they’ll say no.”

“Why would they? Do they have some tiny studio?”

“No. I went by yesterday. It’s small, but not like a booth or anything.”

“Joe,” said Nigella. “What would he do if he thinks he’s doing this alone?”

“I don’t know.” Then it hit him. Rachel. How his nerves seemed absent at Tower. How powerful he played. “Shit.”

“What?” asked Joanne.

“We got to get him away from that bitch,” said Nigella, getting it maybe before he did.

“What are we going to do? Kidnap her?” he asked.

“Maybe you should take one for the team and fuck her, Joe,” said Moe. “I saw how she looked at you. Like the fish that got away.”

“First Joanne. Then Cheryl. Then Rachel. I don’t think he’d appreciate that.”

“Just talk to her Joe,” said Joanne. “What are you doing?” he had picked up the phone.

“I’m up. I’m going to take care of this.”

Nigella sighed. “I’m going to try to get some shuteye.”

After giving the clerk the room number, Joe waited several rings before hearing a croaking, “Hello?”

“Cheryl?” Joe said, somehow knowing it was her.

“Joe? What the fuck?”

“I need to talk to Rachel.”

“She’s passed out like the rest of us.”

“I need you to wake her up.”

“It’s your funeral and maybe mine,” Cheryl chuckled.

A minute or so later, he heard an even more pathetic croak. “Lo?”

“Rachel?”

“Who’s this?”

“Joe.”

“Joe?”

“We need to talk.”

“Talk hunh?” she chuckled. Almost a cackle. Or that might have been his villainess projection.

Joe took a breath. “Could you get dressed? I’ll be outside the door. Please?”

“What about?”

“Just ... In person. Face to face. Okay?”

“Alright Joe.”

They hung up. He dressed.

“I’m going to take a shower,” said Moe. “I need to get to work soon.”

“You going to work a half day?” he asked.

“Daddy’ll be okay with it. What can you expect from a temp?” she chuckled.

He glanced at Joanne spooning around Nigella. She smiled. Nigella slept.

He ended up waiting for a couple minutes impatiently for Rachel to emerge from the hotel room. He didn’t know what took her so long. She only wore one of the hotel’s terry cloth robes. But her face looked washed.

“What do you want, Joe,” she muttered.

“I want you to leave Eddie alone.”

That cackle again. “You going to take away another girl from him?”

“No.”

“Because, unlike you, Eddie cares about me, and I care about him.”

“Did you enjoy him?” he asked. “Did he surprise you?”

She hadn’t expected that. “What do you mean?”

“Why didn’t you go after him? I think we both know he liked looking at you. Maybe Belle said something?”

“Get over yourself, Joe.”

He chuckled. “So she did.”

“I liked you before Harry ever talked about you. The first time seeing your cock, and watching what you did for Harry? I wanted some of that.”

“And Eddie?”

“I just didn’t get what the fuss was about. I started seeing him in a different light.”

“Maybe when Randy told you how well this New York visit was going? You didn’t just bump into him at Washington Square.”

She neither agreed with him nor denied it. “Harry had him all wrong,” she smirked.

“I’ve heard he’s improved.”

“He’s got a fucking club,” she cackled. “Not going to give that up.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.”

“What are you asking?”

Moe appeared. “I need to get going,” she told him.

“Can you wait a second?” he asked. She looked beautiful.

“I actually need you. I need to pick up my drums.”

“Okay.”

“Moe,” said Rachel coldly.

“Rachel,” Moe returned the sentiment.

“So what are you asking?” Rachel asked again.

“The coke and the booze.”

“Is this your doing?” Rachel asked Moe.

“This is all Joe,” Moe shrugged.

“I don’t want him fucked up when we do the radio gig,” he explained. “I have a feeling he’ll want to.”

“It’s up to him.”

“You’re the supplier.”

“I’m out of coke.”

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t get some more.”

“True.”

“This is important Rache. It’s a drive time broadcast.”

“He sounded great at the in store.”

“Which isn’t necessarily a good thing.”

“Why not?”

“Are you that dense?” asked Moe.

“Joe turn you against me?”

“He didn’t need to.”

They glared at each other.

“Rachel. Just. Please?”

“What’s in it for me, Joe?”

He shook his head. “Let me be plain. You want to be a star fucker.”

“I want to be his girlfriend.”

“Whatever. Either way you want the best for him.”

“Of course,” she said, though he couldn’t help doubting her. She only really cared about herself.

“Being fucked up won’t put him in the best light for all those who never heard of Eddie and the Monsters, which will be almost everyone who hears him.”

“Alright. Just give me a minute.”

“For what?”

“To put some clothes on and talk to Eddie.”

“What?” Moe exclaimed.

“I’ll be tempted, and so will he. We had fun last night.”

“Fuck,” said Moe. “I’ve got time.”

Maybe five minutes later, for which both he and Moe suffered, Rachel emerged wearing a tight baby blue t-shirt and khaki shorts, which, though not tight, still managed to highlight her fine butt and bared her strong, healthy thighs. Her midriff showing some softness at her belly, feminine and not fat, only added to her sexiness. Damn.

“Ready,” she said, winking at him.

“Bitch,” Moe muttered.

They headed to her father’s place and parked in the reserved spot under it. Rachel had passed out in the back seat, so Moe and Joe left her, leaving the windows open. They didn’t need to head up to the condo, since the drums were in a storage locker in the basement, but Moe wanted Joe to see the place. It looked out over Lincoln Center. He was very impressed. And her father’s huge office, nearly the space of another apartment, impressed him almost as much.

Moe made some expensive coffee, and they ate lox and cream cheese on some great plain bagels.

“Moe?” he heard, and a handsome blond man, around six feet tall, in his mid-fifties appeared, wearing silky looking pajamas and lightweight robe over them. He looked younger, with a full head of tousled hair. Moe had to tell Joe his age.

“Hi Daddy,” Moe smiled. “This is Joe, my boyfriend.”

“Mr. Johansson,” Joe said, lifting his hand.

“Call me Dave,” he smiled.

Joe kept his chuckle to himself. “I showed him his infamous namesake,” Moe whispered to Joe, referring to the New York Dolls lead singer, David Johansson. “He wasn’t impressed.”

Joe did chuckle then. “What?” her father smiled, pouring some of Moe’s coffee into a mug.

“I told him about showing you your namesake in that glam band?”

“Oh right. So the guy’s famous?”

“The Dolls were never really huge,” Joe explained. “But they’ve been pretty influential.”

He waved it off. “I’m a jazz guy. Miles and Dizzy.”

“You like trumpet?” Joe asked.

“I guess I do,” he chuckled.

“Daddy,” Moe started hesitantly.

“More time off?” he guessed.

“Just the afternoon. And I’ll probably have an early lunch.”

“We’ll make do. But...”

“I’ll be a good little receptionist. Except I might be a little late coming in on Wednesday. Joe’s got a ridiculously early flight out of LaGuardia, and since you’ve been generous lending me your car...”

“I had a ton of stuff to do,” he waved off her thanks. “Trying to put the business in order.”

“So you’re selling the partnership.”

“And the condo. Your mom wants me to settle down upstate. And I’m worried she might check out some divorced dad. Or maybe not even divorced,” he winked at Joe.

“She’s a lovely woman,” Joe said.

“Don’t I know it. Luckily Moe got most of her looks.”

“I agree.”

“Jeez,” said Moe.

“What?” both males asked.

“She’d never do that. But she does miss you.”

“I know,” her father said.

“You’re pretty young to retire,” Joe said.

“Who says I’m retiring? I’ll be an advisor. They’ll send me art, especially when they’re not confident in it. And an occasional new campaign that they’re struggling with. And any new artist or copywriter will come up and get the Dave Johansson make-over,” he chuckled. “Speaking of which...”

“I’m still working on the portfolio,” Moe told him. “I’ll have it done before I start school.”

“Good. I don’t want it interfering with your classes.”

“It won’t. And I’ll let you know my schedule when I get it.”

“Talk to Josh about that.”

“Okay. So, Mom said you’ve had problems selling the condo.”

“She said I’m not working on it enough,” he chuckled.

“Yeah.”

“She’s probably right.”

“It’s amazing,” Joe said.

“I’ll miss it,” he agreed. “But I got a buyer.”

“Really?” said Moe ambiguously.

Her father must have caught her ambivalence. “We’ll set you up,” he said.

“Actually I might have a place,” Moe realized. “A loft in the Bowery shared by some artists. A friend’s moving.”

Nigella. Moe and Joe shared a smile.

“Is it safe?” he asked.

“Yeah. It’s still got bums, but a lot of artists, too. Better than the East Village.”

“Okay. So yeah. It turns out the lady replacing me loved the space.”

“She going to be the new partner?”

“The only way we could steal her. She’s an LA girl. Well, not a girl, but you know what I mean. Does a lot of work for Hollywood. Benefitted from a divorce where her husband couldn’t resist the young starlets. Her two daughters are coming with her. Teenagers who love Manhattan just as much as she does. Her boy’s staying with her dad.”

“I’d think it would be the opposite. Daddy’s little girl and all that,” Joe said.

He shrugged. “It might have been before the divorce. His girls hate him for being a cad. The boy ... maybe more impressed?”

“Dicks,” said Moe.

“We can be,” her father agreed. “But I never would.”

“Neither would Mom.”

“I hope not.”

“I’d better go,” she said.

“Okay.” They hugged. Dave shook Joe’s hand. “Be good to her,” he threatened.

“I’m happiest when she’s happy,” Joe returned.

Dave nodded.

“Your dad’s really cool,” Joe said on the elevator.

“Yeah.”

“He doesn’t know about me. About...”

“No. He knew about Sheldon only because Mom caught us. They decided not to make an issue about it. I told them I didn’t sleep around, which helped. Dad never liked the guy. I think Mom thought he was cute,” she chuckled. “But we didn’t throw it in their faces. At least not a lot.”

“Do you think he likes me?”

“Yeah. The button down shirt and neat khakis impress the older generation.” They laughed.

He helped her with her drum set. Somehow it fit into the trunk. The noise woke up Rachel. “What?” she complained.

“Go back to sleep,” he said, and she did. But she awoke when he dropped off Moe after a long kiss and got into the front seat.

“Why do you have to be so hot,” he mumbled, not meaning to say it out loud.

“What are you going to do about it?” she giggled, shifting towards him and grabbing his crotch, unfortunately still affected by Moe’s kiss. And her.

Luckily they drove away before she began the tease.

“Nothing?” he replied, unsteadily.

“Too bad your friend made me sore.” He turned to go downtown. “Where are we going?”

“To your hotel.”

“That fucking place? The bathroom’s in the fucking hallway. I got to share it with the whole fucking floor. And the room’s a fucking closet.”

Joe sighed. “Just ... get your stuff. We’ll check you out.”

“Really?”

“I imagine you’re sticking with Eddie.”

“That’s the plan.”

“The plan,” he muttered.

“Yeah. The plan. It’s turning out better than I hoped.”

“So you’re going to be honest with me?”

“It hurt what you said when you and Freddy joined Harry and me. But I realized you were dead on.”

“And you realized you didn’t care.”

“I embraced it. Why feel guilty when it’s fun?”

“And fuck everyone else?”

“Not everyone. Well, maybe everyone,” she giggled. “I mean whoever I fuck gets what he wants.”

“Or she.”

“Yeah. Harry...”

“Belle had to pinch herself that you’d decided to be her girlfriend. Turned out to be too good to be true.”

“All she had to do was stay in the game.”

“She realized it was a game, Rache. She seems tough, but she’s vulnerable, especially concerning girlfriends.”

“But she could have kept this,” she said, her hand gesturing from head to crotch.

“You think too much of yourself.”

“Why wouldn’t I? Men have been checking me out since I grew these,” she held her breasts. “Even you can’t keep your eyes off me.”

“The more I look, the more I see, Rache. It’s not just your tits, or your ass, which is first class. You have a beautiful face, angelic I always thought, deceptively so. The more I look, the more I see the real you. And all that superficial stuff goes away.”

“Fuck you.”

“Every time I look at Moira, she gets more beautiful. You just get uglier.”

“Fuck you.”

“And making love is never a one sided thing. A give and take. Not just take.”

“They get me.”

“Like I said, you think too much of yourself.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Belle for example. How much did you cum on her tongue.”

“She’s talented.”

“And her?”

“Having me...”

“Isn’t enough. Believe me. I...”

“You what?”

“Never mind.”

“What? You didn’t enjoy fucking me?”

“No. I didn’t.”

“You came.”

“I did. Men cum. And I admit your beauty helped and all the other beautiful ladies in bed with us.”

“You think Harry’s beautiful?”

“I do actually. It’s interesting you don’t.”

“Whatever.”

“And her name’s Belle.”

“Beauty,” she snorted.

“And the bitch,” he added.

“You really are an asshole.”

“I can be,” he admitted.

“What’s wrong with me?” she muttered.

Surprised, he asked, “You want me to answer that?”

“I do. And not about my character which seems to rub you like sandpaper. I mean, I like threesomes.”

“I know,” he chuckled. “A girl to suck you and a guy to fuck you.”

“Of course. But there’s only been a couple like that. With you and the summer before when we went to the Riviera.”

“Must be tough being you.”

“I like being rich. Now I guess there’s three. Never with two men. I tried that too. It got scary.”

“You mean rape scary.”

“It felt like it, but I guess I consented.”

“Did you say no?”

“In a manner of speaking. I said ‘wait,’ and then ‘not so fucking hard.’ Neither were paid attention to. It’s just, men are too hard to control when there’s two of them.”

“If it were me and Eddie?”

“Are you suggesting it?” she grinned.

“Just a for instance.”

“I wouldn’t say no. Heard you’re quite the cunt sucker.”

“From?”

“Nigella.”

“She was flaunting my ability?”

“Comparing notes. I kind of hoped she’d join us.”

“She wants to keep things strictly professional between her and Eddie.”

“Too bad.”

“But smart.”

“I suppose. I’d like that. You and Eddie. But he’ll never get my butt.”

He laughed.

“What?”

“Cheryl said the same thing.”

“She’s a slut,” said Rachel, shaking her head.

“Maybe, but so are you.”

“Reformed. This is it up ahead.”

He had turned on the road on the north side of Washington Square Park, since he heard her hotel was right on it. It was.

“Want to come in?”

“No.”

“Afraid?”

“Don’t want to have to park.”

“Good excuse.”

“Yep.”

He had to circle around a few times, not having that Manhattan mentality of double parking. By the time he saw her with her luggage in front of the hotel, he could tell she was worried. Popping the trunk, he let her struggle with her heavy bag.

“Thought you left me,” she said when she plopped into the passenger seat.

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“I know,” she said.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Definitely a good thing for me,” she giggled. “Mind if you drive me somewhere?”

“Where.”

“Upper Westside?”

“Why?”

“Cocaine?”

“Your dealer’s up this early?”

“It’s late for him. He’s expecting me.”

“Night job?”

“Something like that. It’s just off 8^th Avenue on 83^rd Street.

“Which way off?”

“West.”

“Presumptuous of you.”

“I figured you’d be okay with it. You’re not Moira, and you did snort some. If you hadn’t drove me up, he said he wouldn’t wait up too long.”

Traffic started getting heavier. He decided to follow a cab heading northwest.

“What are you doing?” Rachel asked.

“He knows these streets a lot better than me.”

“Smart.”

“I have my moments.”

After a few minutes, he asked, “What’s the old boyfriend’s story?”

“He’s the son of one of my dad’s best friends. He took my virginity.”

“How old were you?”

“Fifteen. He was eighteen. He was a hunk. Still is. Tried getting into the SEALs but washed out.”

“Let me guess. Drugs.”

“And steroids. Like he needed more muscles.”