Chapter 11: Kryptonite

Harvey’s Hamburgers, Strathroy, Ontario

1:13pm, Saturday, November 17, 1979

When Zupena and I walked into Harvey’s, we saw a good number of our friends had already ordered and were at their seats. Zupi and I had ridden in the other limo that took a smaller number to Tim Horton’s, and then we walked the three-hundred yards back to Harvey’s. Over along the windows, I saw Tempe, Brick and Sammy giggling and peering up at both Zupena and me. ‘That is not a good sign,’ I laughingly thought as I waited in the short line with this six-foot-three-inch beauty.

“What did you guys talk about on the way here from Timmy’s?” Tempe asked me and Zupena as we came over to their table.

“Here, Zupena, sit here by me,” Lisa said with a smile. When I looked at her, my youngest girlfriend gave me a small wink.

‘Oh, shit. Something is up,’ I thought as I sat down across from Brick and Zupena, between Tempe and Sammy.

“We talk basketball. Mike give good suggestion and show me how to draw foul on up ‘n under post move,” Zupena said in response to Tempe’s question.

“Only basketball, huh,” Brick softly said.

“Yes, basketball,” I replied with a negative headshake and eye-roll at my inquisitive girls.

“Only two hamburgers and fries, Cuda?” Sammy laughingly asked, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m trying to watch my weight,” I chuckled.

“We like watching your weight, Mike,” Tempe deadpanned and then she reached over the table to share five with Brick.

“You like more than watching, yes?” Zupena chortled.

“Oh, yeah, Zupena! More than watching is the best,” Lisa exclaimed.

“Yeah, that is what I be told,” the tall center said in a slightly dejected tone.

Lisa, Brick and Sammy immediately stared at each other and did their ‘eye-thing’ for a few seconds. Then, Sammy pushed up from the table and said, “Zupena, come to the restroom with me, please.”

The tall, Latvian girl looked confused for a second, but pushed up from the table when Sammy softly added another, “Please.”

Before I could ask what was up, Brick softly said, “You need to ask Zupena out, and show her a good time.”

“Yeah, Mike. We’ll be okay if we know you’re with Zupi,” Tempe double-teamed me.

“Are you two crazy?” I whispered to my girlfriends as I leaned over the table.

“Zupena deserves to have a boyfriend, and we can’t think of a better one than you for her. You’re definitely tall enough for her, and you’ll treat her right, Mike,” Tempe whispered in reply.

“You two are more than enough girls for me,” I softly said.

“We’ve always been good with sharing you between us. We don’t see a whole lot of difference sharing you with Zupena, Mike,” Lisa whispered. She then added, “If Zupi isn’t up for doing stuff with us, we’re good with that, too. We’ll still have our times together and alone.”

“And what is Sammy telling Zupena, right now?” I asked.

“Nothing about this. We figured you’d have to decide on doing this, first. If you’re willing to go out with all three of us, you’ll have to ask and explain this to Zupena, yourself,” Tempe said.

“You girls are crazy. Lisa, you’ve got a semi-excuse being just out of the hospital, but you, Tempe...” I softly said and chuckled that last part with a small head shake.

“But you love us, crazy girls!” Lisa started to say, and Tempe joined in on the ‘crazy girls’ phrase with a roll of her index fingers beside her temples.

“Will you think about it, at least?” Tempe softly asked as the others near our table turned towards us.

“I can’t help but think about it, now,” I replied.

“Think about what, Cuda?” Elizabeth said from the next table down.

“Just an idea these two kooks thought up,” I laughed.

“Three kooks. Sammy’s one, too,” Lisa chuckled.

“I’m a what?” Sammy asked as she and Zupena rounded the corner from the hallway to the restrooms.

“One crazy ass, rock-chick!” Brad laughed as he picked up the earlier crazy girl comment from Lisa and Brick, but thankfully not the real jest behind that comment.

I then watched the beautiful blonde center, with a set of legs that truly went on forever, walk back to our table. I chuckled when I recalled Julia Robert’s bath-tub scene’s line from Pretty Woman when she said to Richard Gere, “Did I mention my legs are 44 inches from hip to toe ... so basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy wrapped around you for the bargain price of three thousand dollars.“ Zupena could probably claim at total of near 100 inches with her blue jean covered, gorgeously long legs.

Zupena was every bit six-three and with her blonde hair in a high-pony tail, she looked two inches taller than me. This Latvian beauty weighed a well put together one-hundred-and-forty-five pounds. She wasn’t well endowed with smallish ‘B- sized’ boobs, which gave her a supermodel’s body structure. She also had the true Eastern European, high sculptured cheeks bones with a cute thin nose.

“You definitely fall into that crazy girl category with these two trouble-makers,” I laughed as I pulled out Zupena’s chair for her. That little detail didn’t go unnoticed as Tempe lightly patted my other hand and whispered, “Nice move.”

“I do that for all of you,” I whispered back, but Tempe and Lisa were having none of it as they reached across the table for a soft-five and a shared, “Ah-ha.”

Zupena, thankfully, was still oblivious to these three girls’ scheme. As I watched her eating her burger and fries, I knew I’d have a lot of thinking to do about what my two girls asked me to do.

At the other end of our group, I heard Lynette and Jill Hurt talking about Coach Jacket tearing a strip off of Jill’s backside early in that semi-final game. They were laughing about Coach’s tone and what it would have been like if it was a ‘close game’ when Jill did that stupid stealing-gamble against Voaden.

“My guess is she wouldn’t be as upset as she was in that blowout,” Jon replied. That drew a bunch of confused looks from the players around him.

“Why? She probably would have blown her stack in a tight game,” Giselle Whiting, the backup point guard to her older sister, Andi, hotly replied.

“I agree with Jon,” Andi softly said before she popped a few curly fries in her mouth. She then added, “Coach is mora cool and con-tolled in close games. In blowouts, she can use things like that as teachable moments without really upsetting the rhythm or flow of the game.”

Andi’s spot-on statement only confirmed what I already knew ... that she was going to be one of the most successful high school coaches in Ontario, starting in about eight years’ time.

“As long as we are blowin’ people out, Coach J can chew my ass all she wants,” Jill laughed.

“I’ll say one thing about Coach, she never makes it personal. When she jumps your ass, she makes it just about basketball or volleyball...” Cano said with a smile.

“And she doesn’t make you feel stupid or dumb,” Deb Watney added to Cano’s statement.

“That good coaching, yes?” Zupena said from beside me.

“It is, and we have some really good coaches at Medway,” I replied as I took a swig of my lemonade.

“I can think of one I’d like to see retire,” Wayne said with a smirk.

“Big John!” Brad, Andy, Jon and I all responded to Wayne’s statement. Coach John Reid was the oldest and least up-to-date coach at Medway. He was a strict ‘old-school’ coach. I liked some of his coaching methods, but his gruff manner, and ‘It is my way or the highway’ approach didn’t fit well with our current age group of student-athletes.

At the end of an hour, we saw Jason pull the stretch limo into the parking lot. With the temperature now at a balmy forty-two or three degrees, I asked, “Tempe, would you like to walk back to the high school with me?”

“What is it, about three quarters of a mile?” she asked.

“A little over three-quarters, Ms. Tempe,” Jason replied with a smile as he walked to the rear door to open it for my friends.

“I’ll walk with you, guys,” Lisa said.

“Nope! You’re not walking that far after just getting out of the hospital,” I replied with a semi-evil eye to let Bricky know I was dead serious.

“But I’m...”

“No, Bricky. Mike’s right about you getting worn out,” Tempe interrupted our girlfriend’s attempted plea.

“Gawd! Oh, alright,” Lisa semi-fumed and slowly made her way to the open limo door.

“Can I walk with both of you? It is nice outside,” Zupena softly asked from beside Tempe.

“You sure can, Zupi,” Tempe replied with a smile. My blonde girlfriend then gave me a wicked hip bump and subtly pointed her two index fingers at me and Zupena. She then put her two index fingers together and rubbed them slightly along their length.

Tempe and Zupena had a good time talking about their semi-similar experiences of coming to a new high school. This was Zupi’s second year at Medway after her father took a faculty position at Western at the start of her eleventh grade. Because my four older siblings went to Medway, I knew that the Cowboys had never had such a skilled, tall girl as Zupena on their basketball or volleyball teams. Zupi was clearly better at basketball, but she definitely was just as intimidating as a middle hitter-blocker in volleyball.

As we neared Strathroy’s school, Tempe switched gears, and asked Zupena about her prior boyfriends and what she was looking for in a potential boyfriend.

“I no have boyfriend in Latvia, or here. All boys no like such tall girl.”

“That’s not true, is it, Mike?” Tempe replied.

“There are a lot of good guys who like tall ladies ... just in high school, most are too afraid to ask because you might be taller than them or just your good looks scare them, like Shannon Pike’s does,” I replied to Tempe’s obvious ploy to get me with Zupena.

“Have you gone out with any guys, Zupena?” Tempe asked.

“I go on few dates in Latvia, and a couple here, but only one second date. I not know why boys scared of me after one date,” Zupena replied.

“We can be idiots at times, Zupena,” I laughed as we waited for the traffic light and walk signal to change.

“So what would like to see in a guy?” Tempe reiterated a previous question.

“Well, I think tall would be good but not required. I no think five-six, five-eight boy would be good for me, though.”

“Yeah-ha, probably not,” Tempe laughed as she squeezed my hand.

“I like smart and funny. I don’t speak good English, so humor is good with boy, if I make turn up,” Zupena added.

Tempe and I both chuckled at her ‘turn-up’ or turnip sounding word. I then said, “You probably meant, ‘if I make a screw up’ of your words.”

“See, just like dat, you both good ... not be mean at my screw up of words,” Zupena laughed with us. She then added, “I hope boy like to do sport, as I am sporting girl ... although I no skate or know hockey, which everyone do here in Canada.”

“We’ll take you out and teach you to skate, won’t we, Mike?” Tempe said.

“Tempe was, she still is a good hockey player, Zupena,” I replied with a level faced smile at Zupena. I then looked down at my foot shorter girlfriend and slightly closed my left eye in a loving glare.

“I would like to skate. I hear joke that you must skate or give up Canadian citizenship by eighteen. Was joke, yes?” Zupena said and then softly asked.

“Yes, that was, is a joke,” I chuckled as we reached the sidewalk to the high school.

“Mike was a good hockey player, too. I’m sure he’d have no problem getting you up on a pair of blades, Zupena.”

“You teach me to skate? I like that,” Zupena asked with a killer smile.

“I guess I’ll be taking you skating one of these weekends, Zupena,” I said, which caused Tempe to squeeze my hand, and swing it a lot more vigorously than we were doing.

“You and Liza come, too, yes?” Zupena asked Tempe.

“We’ll try to go but with gymnastics now underway I’m not sure our off times will match up,” Tempe slyly replied to Zupena’s invitation. I let out a long sigh at her response, and gave her hand a little squeeze. Tempe then looked up at me and added, “Well, I might not be able to go on a Friday or Saturday night, Mike.”

“Well, we have a little time to figure out a good skating date, don’t we, Zupena?” I said.

“Yes. With my volleyball, and your gymnastic and basketball, we try to make good time to skate,” Zupena replied as we walked in the front of the school.

“Hey, guys! Are you up for bowling?” Janice Hurt asked as our whole group of students, parents and coaches were waiting inside the front of the school.

“Yeah, we have like five hours before the championship game and we don’t just wanna sit around here,” Sylvie Mitchell added.

“I no bowl before,” Zupena replied with a wide eyed look.

“That’s alright, Zupena. I bet half to three-quarters of these folks can’t bowl a lick, either,” I laughed and lightly elbowed Tempe in her left upper arm.

“Will your drivers be able to take you kids to the Strathroy Lanes?” Coach Jacket asked of Sammy.

“Yes, Ma’am. Jason and Wyatt will be fine with driving us there,” Sammy quickly replied.

“Okay, you folks that rode in the limos, pile in. The rest of you can pair up to save on driving, if you want,” Coach Jacket called out.

“Warren and I are gonna ride with my mom and dad,” Cano said to Sammy and Coach.

“That’s two less in Wyatt’s limo,” Sammy said.

“Brad and I will switch to that limo, so Jason’s won’t be crammed,” Elizabeth then said.

“Is there room for me to ride in one of the limos?” Giselle softly asked to Sammy.

I quickly looked at Lisa and then to Tempe and thought, ‘I’ll give them a little pay back for their Zupena scheme, ‘ and said, “Zupena and I will ride with Jon and Andi, Giselle. You can take our spot in the limo.”

As I expected, I felt an immediate squeeze from Tempe and a saw a jaw-drop response from Brick at my unexpected statement.

“Can I take that other spot in the limo, then?” Deb Watney chimed in right away.

“Sure, Deb,” Sammy replied.

As we were walking out, I heard Lisa say, “Michael.” From her tone, it was obvious she wasn’t super thrilled with my actions.

“You two shouldn’t have messed with me. You knew I’d find a way to get you back,” I chuckled as I turned to look at my two girls.

“Well, we’ll just have to wear you out at the bowling alley, then,” Lisa faux-fumed as she grabbed Tempe’s hand and stomped off to Jason’s limo.

“Is bass player girlfriend upset?” Zupena softly asked as we followed Jon and Andi to their vehicle.

“Nah. She may seem a little put off, but she’s good hanging with Tempe and the rest of our gang,” I replied and lightly squeezed the back of Zupena’s shoulder. I wasn’t sure but I thought she slowed and leaned slightly into my pressurized fingers for a second or two.

At Andi’s mother’s car, with Jon behind the wheel, Andi asked to Zupena and me, “Do either of you want the front seat to stretch your legs out?”

“Nah, we’re good back here, Andi,” I replied and opened the back door for Zupena.

“Thank you, Cooda,” Zupena said as she ducked her long body down and slid across the rear bench seat.

Our large group of students and adults had a great time at the fifteen lane bowling alley in Strathroy. Because most of the Time Bandettes and the STB members weren’t bowlers, we decided to bowl on three of the ‘five-pin’ bowling lanes.

(Note: In Canada, they have both five and ten pin bowling. The five pin game has the pins in a ‘V’ shape. The head pin is worth 5 points, the next two pins are 3 points each and the two back pins are 2 points each. Therefore, each frame is worth 15 points instead of the traditional 1 point per pin, and 10 point frames in ‘regular bowling.’ Additionally, each player gets three attempts to knock all five pins down versus two attempts in the ten-pin game. The balls are small enough in five-pin bowling to hold in your hand and rarely have holes in them for your fingers like the larger ten-pin bowling balls.)

It was fun to watch the varying strategies my friends used in our five-pin games as they aimed at the higher valued pins. Tempe, Lisa, Eda and Shania were more dainty type bowlers, with a few of their bowls barely having enough momentum to topple the pins. Paul, Cathy, and I were all rocket fast bowlers.

After a few softer bowls at the start, Zupena quickly learned that throwing hard was the better option for knocking multiple pins over on her first strike bowl. I swear she sent a couple of her ‘strike balls’ faster than I did near the end of our second game.

Because a perfect game in five-pin is 450, I was super impressed by Zupena’s high score of 228 in just her second game ever. Her score was only 21 points behind my best score and was 2 points off Paul’s winning score in the first set of games we bowled. The tall beauty definitely was able to pick up the footwork for bowling, which was a little surprising given her long, gangly legs.

Over on the ‘big’ boys’ and girls’ lanes, there was a ton of yelling and shouting as Coach Jacket was giving Janice and Jill Hurt’s parents a run for their money in their 10-pin matches. Ms. Jacket, all ninety pounds of her, used one of the bowling alley’s eight pound balls to bowl a 221 game. That was only seven points behind Mr. Hurt’s best game of 228. Only a poor ‘spare-bowl’ by Coach Jacket kept her from matching or beating Mr. Hurt. Mr. and Mrs. Hurt were league bowlers, and had their own customized, ‘hook-spin’ balls with them.

Just before five o’clock, we all shuffled out of the bowling alley and headed on back to the high school. Coach Jacket wanted a few minutes with her team to go over a few last minute things she picked up from watching Stratford Central’s 64-61 victory over Goderich in the second semi-final game.

During the time before the championship game started at six-thirty, we decided to have a little fun jamming in the stands, again. I got with Al Campbell as soon as we got back to the school and he opened the storage room where we kept our instruments and amps.

Paul commandeered Brick’s bass guitar and both of us did our best to recreate Joe Walsh’s Rocky Mountain Way on our two electric guitars. About half way through our first run through of that classic rock song, I saw Steve motion to Sammy to pass up Cano’s keytar, as Sammy didn’t feel good about fooling with it on this song. Paul and I restarted that song when Steve easily keyed in a backing drum beat and added his own spin on this song.

I was even more impressed with Sammy, Brick, E and Shania, who decided to create a wonderful feminine harmony on this powerful rock song. Sammy’s raspier voice was the key with the other three girls playing off Wushu’s strong vocals. I motioned for Cathy to lower the amp’s output a little as our guitars were definitely stronger than the girls’ non-amplified vocals.

We had attracted a little crowd around our impromptu jam session as the parents and boyfriends of the Stratford Central team came into the gym with their girls’ team. At the end of Rocky Mountain, one of the Stratford parents asked if we minded them sitting just down from us as we played.

“Just as long as you don’t throw potato chip bags or Coke cans at us if we mess up, it’s okay,” Paul laughed in reply to that forty-ish year-old man’s inquiry.

“Oh, heck, no! We liked what you were playing ... all the way down the hall,” the Stratford dad laughed.

“That’s just one song,” I chuckled and nodded at the Stratford folks.

“Aren’t you guys the ones who won that naked concert contest?” one of the Stratford player’s boyfriend or brother asked.

Sammy, Eda and Brick just smiled and nodded their heads in response to this boy’s question. Paul then added, “Yeah, Mike and the Time Bandettes won that band challenge.”

I wasn’t about to let my friend off without a little bragging on his band’s performance, so I quickly added, “And these guys,” pointing to Paul, Cathy, Shania and Steve, “also, earned a spot in the upcoming NIS concert in January. The Shania Twain Band is from Timmins, but Paul and his sister Cathy were originally members of our band.”

“Oh, whoa! That’s wild!” another Stratford student replied.

“I saw you guys playing at the Western Fair. You guys were awesome!” one of the player’s moms said as she stepped up into the bleacher seats.

“Are you gonna play a few more songs before the championship game?” the original dad asked as he sat down beside his wife.

“We were kinda planning on it,” Shania replied with a smile.

“Great! We enjoyed your show at the Fair,” the lady’s husband said.

I looked at Shania after the Stratford folks got situated in the bleachers and said, “I heard you modified that, Here’s a Quarter song. Want to play it for us?”

“Only if you and Sammy play along,” Shania replied with her green eyes sparkling at my request.

With that, Sammy grabbed my Baby James acoustic and her 12-string acoustic guitars from their cases and passed my 6-string acoustic to Shania.

“You start us off Steve, Shania and we’ll join in when we get a feel for the song,” I replied with a nod to Sammy.

Shania gave Steve a moment to adjust the simplified drum beat for this song, before she did a four count lead into this song by tapping on the body of my guitar. Shania started this song with just the acoustic guitar as she sang:

Right after that first verse, Steve and Paul added their instruments to Shania’s guitar. The STB, minus Cathy on the drums, created a sweet sounding county melody. It wasn’t long into the chorus of this song before Sammy and I added our two guitars. Cathy and Steve added their voices to create a soft harmony with Shania as they sang:

“Call someone who’ll listen, or might give a damn,

Maybe one of your sorted affairs.

But don’t you come ‘round here handin’ me none of your lies.

Here’s a quarter, call someone who cares.“

Right after that, Paul surprised me and a few others when he said in his baritone voice, “You better start smilin’ and dialin’, fella!“

After I took a moment to regroup after my best friend’s humorous ad-lib, I sensed that this was a good spot to electrify this countrified song, and brought the old Silverburst to life. I picked out a soft country sounding melody for about thirty seconds as I listened to Steve’s and Paul’s main rhythms as a guide for my ‘country’ up guitar playing. Shania let out a loud, “Play it, Mike,” yell after about twenty seconds, which earned a few shouts from the crowd.

With a nod from Steve, I dialed back to a more even sound with Sammy and Shania’s acoustic guitars, before Paul’s beautiful girlfriend then sang:

“Yes, Shania! You bring it, Girl!” Tina yelled out as Shania stylized that last line of the song.

The folks from both teams in the bleachers gave Shania and the rest of us a loud round of applause and some noisy foot stooping on the wooden bleachers. I reached down and gave Paul’s girlfriend a soft squeeze on the back of her neck before lightly patting her on her shoulders.

“That’s the Shania Twain Band!” Lisa yelled out and pointed to the four members of the STB.

“With a few Time Bandettes for extra measure,” Paul added by pointing to Sammy and me.

“That was a great song, guys!” one of the boyfriends from Stratford’s team yelled. “I love good country music!”

“Thanks,” Shania replied and gave that guy a thumb’s up.

We sat around chatting about our music for a few minutes when Lisa looked up at me and asked, “You look like you’ve got a song in the back of your mind, Mike. Wanna share it with us?”

I smiled down at my youngest girlfriend and then to my older one and said, “Yeah, I think I have one for, uh, all of my girls.”

Both Lisa and Tempe’s eyes widen at my emphasized ‘all of my girls‘ phraseology. I was glad that they picked up on that. I then winked at both of them.

“Yes, Cuda’s got a new song for us!” Elizabeth excitedly said as she slapped her hands down on Brad’s thigh.

“You better play it, quick, Cuda ... or I’ll be black and blue over here,” Brad chuckled as he grabbed Lizzie’s wrists to stop her bruising thumps.

“Okay, Shania, can I snag that 6-string from you, please,” I asked. After I handed my electric guitar to Lisa and put my Baby James’ strap around my neck, I said, “I’ve been mulling this song in my head for some time, now. Y’all know how it is easy to be there for someone when things aren’t going right or life is the pits. Well, I was thinking about how people respond to their friends or loved ones when everything is hunky-dory and all is well. The chorus of this song asks for your help in both of these situations. Hopefully, all-y’all will think that this song kinda captures that sentiment. It’s called, Kryptonite.”

(Note: Kryptonite was written by Brad Arnold, Matt Roberts and Todd Harrell of 3 Doors Down in 1999. It is from their 2000 album, The Better Life. Kryptonite was this band’s biggest hit, reaching number one on the Mainstream Rock Tracks and then the Modern Rock Tracks charts for nine and eleven weeks, respectively. This song was also suggested to me for use in my story by a reader, Jarron04. Thanks!)

I then began to pick out the opening sounds to this future 3 Doors Down song on my acoustic guitar. After my twenty second introduction, I softly sang:

“Well, I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Chorus:

I then picked out an acoustic riff for fifteen seconds, as my friends all were bobbing their heads to the tempo of this song. I looked at my three band mates and smiled when I saw them each doing their unique musicianship actions as they were clearly trying to create their future roles in this song.

Tempe had a slightly aghast look on her face. I could tell she struggled to comprehend the relatively fast lyrics of this song. When she peered up at me, I smiled down at her and mouthed, ‘You’ll be my friend at the end,’ before I continued singing:

Chorus:

I repeat that chorus two more times with a strong guitar riff between the first two, and a forceful “Oh, Whoa! Whoa!” between the final two choruses. At the end of that song, I simply and softly repeated the title three times before fading out my vocals and guitar.

“Holy crap on a cracker, Mike,” Shania softly said which triggered a pretty decent round of applause from the folks in the bleachers.

“Damn, Cuda,” Paul said as he leaned over and gave me a soft shot in my shoulder. “I’d hate to find out what else you’ve got locked up in your head, now.”

“Well, that was pin-balling around in my head after our NIS week. A lot of things were all over the place for me, and for a good number of you guys. I just saw how easy it was for everyone, me included ... to be there for folks when they were down in the dumps. I just felt like I needed a reminder to be there for my friends when everything is going great, too.”

“You’re right, Cuda,” Lizzie said.