Chapter 10: Sexual Healing

Tempe’s Bedroom, North London, Ontario

10:24pm, Friday, November 16, 1979

“I gotta go pee, Mike,” Brick said after she recovered from her a body shaking orgasm I gave her with my tongue and long digits.

As my young brunette girlfriend made her way to Tempe and Tina’s Jill & Jill co-joining bathroom, I scanned her now seriously slender body. Lisa said she’d lost seven pounds while in the hospital and she now tipped the scales at a whopping ninety-five pounds. My busty beauty joked that the two places she could afford to lose some weight, Girl1 and Girl2, might have dropped an ounce or two while in the hospital. All of her posterior ribs were evident as she bounced her naked body into the bathroom.

I twisted around on the purple with pink trimmed duvet on Tempe’s queen-sized bed to rest on a few of her pillows. I wondered what was going on in the bathroom as Brick didn’t reappear for several moments after I heard the commode flushing. Brick peeked around the bathroom door with a bemused grin on her face. She then smiled at me and peered down at my crotch to ask, “Is that guy all mine for the night?”

“For tonight, and as long as you want him,” I replied as I patted the mattress with my right hand.

“Oh, goodie,” Lisa replied as she ‘model-walked’ on her tiptoes back to the bed.

On her way back to the bed, Brick made a slight detour to Tempe’s little Sony boom-box, and asked, “You mind if I turn this onto 101.3?”

I smiled at Brick and simply said, “Ga ‘head.”

Lisa laughed and replied, “I’m not a gourd head,” before she adjusted the FM stereo knob to that ‘Easy Listening’ station.

“C’mere, Gourd Head,” I playfully instructed my busty girlfriend.

Brick slowly crawled up the bed between my spread legs, until her head was just below my rock hard cock. After she licked the precum from my bulbous crown for a few moments, she looked up at me and asked, “Can I just, ah, enjoy a slow ride, Mike?”

“You can do whatever you like, Bricky. Just don’t overdo it, ‘kay?” I replied as I reached down and put my arms on her bent over shoulders.

“I won’t. I’m gonna take it slow and steady,” she said with a small smile as she crawled up my torso, dragging her heavily hanging boobs along my stomach and chest.

With her right hand, Brick reached behind her and captured my high angled shaft. Moving her bottom back, she hissed out a sigh as she teased her slippery slit with my large crown. Bricky softly groaned with her eyes closed, as she pressed her crotch back to pressure her little clit with my cockhead.

I couldn’t help letting a little laugh escape my lips as Brick lightly yanked my crown over her pleasure button as I heard the opening, sexy lines:

“Get up, get up, get up, get up!

Wake up, wake up, wake, wake up!“

to Marvin Gaye’s wonderfully appropriate song, Sexual Healing.

(Note: Sexual Healing was written by Marvin Gaye, Odell Brown and David Ritz in 1982. It is from his album, In Our Lifetime, and reached number one on the Billboard’s Hot R&B charts for a then record, ten weeks. It also reached the top spot on Canada’s RPM charts. As usual, I’m adjusting the ‘timeline’ of this song to fit in with my story.)

“This isn’t supposed to be funny, Mike,” Lisa softly said as she glared down at me with her piercing green orbs.

“The song, Bricky. The song,” I simply groaned as Lisa forcefully pressed back against my notched cockhead, causing my shaft to bend a little. Mercifully, Brick’s chuckle at her comprehension of Marvin’s wickedly hot love-making song eased the semi-painful feeling in my groin.

“Take it slow, Bricky,” I hissed as I felt her position my crown at the lower entrance to her pussy. “Oooh, shit! You’re pussy is sooo hot and tight, Brick,” I added as she pressed her body back and down around my cockhead.

“Fuck ... fuck... FUCK!“ Brick cried as her body slowly swallowed up my thick, seven-and-a-half inch shaft until her clit mashed up against my bony pubic bone. She then slowly rocked her pelvis over my root to maximize the pressure against her sensitive little pleasure button.

I wasn’t about to complain about her lack of ‘in and out’ movement on my cock, as the tightness and minor tremors deep within her pussy worked miracles to elevate my own pleasure. I hissed out when Lisa finally leaned forward to drag her vice-like pussy off my shaft.

“Oooh, Damn! I still can’t beeeee-lieve that thing isn’t splittin’ me in two,” Brick exclaimed as her bright green eyes pierced my face.

“We were made for each other, Bricky,” I replied as she held herself still with just my crown stretching her entrance to its limit.

“Oooh, Gawddd! I ca-can’t argue with that,” Lisa groaned as she settled back onto my shaft. She then got into a slow rhythmic motion of sink down, grind back and forth twice and then pull nearly off my cock. Brick only opened her eyes at the top when her vaginal opening worked overtime to keep my cockhead from slipping from her scalding hot pussy.

Just as both of our orgasms neared the tipping point, Lisa surprised me by pulling completely off my shaft. My high angled shaft then sprung back slightly. With perfect timing, Brick forcefully pressed her body back with my bulbous crown at her back passage. Apparently, my young girlfriend used that extra time in the bathroom to smear a good sized dollop of Vaseline around and in her anus.

“Ooooh! Gawwwddd! Yessss!” Brick cried as my flared crown slipped through her anal defenses.

“Bricky! What are you doing?!” I exclaimed as her body came to a stop with about three inches of my shaft in her back passage.

“I, I ja-just wanted to tra-try this without Tempe being with us,” Lisa stammered as she rested most of her body weight on my chest with her hands.

“Why?” I asked and put my hands under her tiny butt cheeks for additional support.

“If it ha-hurt like it did with Tina, I didn’t want Tempe around to see it,” Brick replied as she started to lift up a little.

“Are you okay?” I asked not being sure how to interpret Brick’s facial expressions at this moment.

“Weird! It, ah, just feels weird ... in a good kinda way, I think,” Brick hissed before stopping her withdrawal in a similar fashion to her earlier pussy fucking.

“You don’t have to go any deeper,” I semi-sternly said as I felt Brick’s ass slide back over my shaft.

“I won’t, if it starts to hurt,” Lisa groaned as she pressed another inch into her rectum.

“Ooh, shit! Bricky!” I cried as the heat from her bottom passage was exquisite on my shaft.

“I did that in the bathroom!” Lisa laughed, which caused another inch to invade her butt. “Whoa, sheee-it!” Brick cried at that unexpected movement.

I immediately pulled back and lifted up on her butt cheeks with my hands at her cry of pain. With a series of rapid, short breathes, Lisa hissed, “I think that was my limit for now, Mike.”

“You want me out?”

“No-no! It was feeling real good before I dropped down like that,” Brick said with my crown gripped by her anal sphincter. “Just help support me, please,” she added as she slowly twisted and pressed her butt down my shaft.

My busty fourteen-year-old slowly worked about four or five inches of my shaft into her ass, and then began a little twist and fuck motion. Unlike with my cock in her pussy, Brick kept her eyes squeezed shut as her lips made that perfect circle for her slow breathing. Even though I could feel her increased pace on my shaft, the ever wilder movement of her large boobs told me that Lisa was really getting into this backdoor activity.

Every few downward presses, Brick slightly winced as I felt more of my shaft being gripped by her anal opening. With just an inch of my shaft out in the air, Brick collapsed forward and ground her clit against my lower abdomen. When she reached up to my neck and pulled my head to share a passionate kiss, that oral activity slowed our impending orgasms.

With Lisa wiggling side to side, but barely inching back and forth over my shaft, my anally invaded beauty killed me when she stopped to softly sing along with Marvin Gaye:

As that song ended Lisa once more kicked her butt, somewhat literally, in gear. She easily slid her greasy bottom up and down my shaft as we both neared what we both desperately craved. Once again, Lisa ground her crotch against my lower abdomen to maximize her pleasure as her orgasm spread through her like wildfire. With her anal opening trying to pinch my shaft in two, my orgasm was wickedly triggered. It was a good thing her back door was relatively empty because I definitely filled it with my love offering.

With her long brown locks spread across my chest and shoulders, Lisa rested her head at the side of my neck to softly moan in the afterglow of her first anal orgasm. After thirty seconds of soft mewing, Brick slowly pulled forward and off my spent shaft.

“Oooh, Mike. That really feels weird, now. Your warm cum in my butt is just ... kinda weird,” Lisa said as she pushed her upper body up from my chest.

“Let me run and get us a warm wash cloth, Bricky,” I said as Lisa rolled off my chest and peered down at her inflamed pussy and Vaseline-cum slicked butt.

After we cleaned up and started to get dressed, I asked, “How are you feeling, Lisa Conchita?”

“Not bad, really. I feel a whole lot better now, than I did after playing my bass.”

“I guess you just needed some good lovin’, or ‘sexual healing’ to get you back on your feet,” I chuckled as I pulled my scarlet, Medway sweatshirt over my head.

“I’ve missed your sexual healing, Mike,” Lisa emphasized as she did up the front enclosure on her pale blue bra. As she reached for her royal blue angora sweater, she surprised me by asking, “So what did Dr. Candi say about us, you know, possibly getting together?”

“We barely talked about that, Brick. She, uh, kinda had a feeling you were ... that you might be interested in something, but she was still more concerned with your health than thinking of having a fun time with you, with us,” I said as I tied up my Chucks.

“Is us, me and you, or did Dr. Candi mention Tempe with that us, term?”

“She mentioned Tempe, too. She basically told me that we’d talk about this a little later, after you were back on your feet, again.”

“So when can you, we talk with her about this?” Lisa continued as she slipped her feet into her leather, low-cut Nikes.

“Brick, how ‘bout we focus on you, me and Tempe for a bit? Then, we can add some Candi, haha, to the mix ... if all is well with you,” I softly said as I handed her, her blue and gold ski jacket.

“Okay, okay ... I just wanted to know if she was up for that,” Lisa replied.

“Well, I will tell you this ... you and Tempe have done somethings she hasn’t done, yet.”

“What? What have we done that Dr. Candi hasn’t?” Lisa excitedly asked.

“Candi, she told me that she hasn’t been with a beautiful girl before ... or with any girl, actually.”

“Really? Did she sound like she’d like to try it with us?” Lisa continued as we turned the lights off in Tempe’s bedroom.

“I’m pretty sure she’ll be up for it, Lis,” I replied.

“I can’t wait to talk to, and then get with her, Mike,” Brick spritely said as we hot-footed down the stairs.

“Again, let’s slow that down some and focus on the three of us for a bit, Bricky,” I said as I grabbed my leather football jacket from the bottom stairs’ baluster.

“Alright, alright,” Lisa semi-whined as she opened the front door. When I moved beside her, she turned and wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a sweet kiss. With her head tilted back, she looked up in my eyes and said, “I love you, Mike. If you think we need to slow the Candi thing down, I’ll be good with that.”

“If that happens, it happens, Bricky,” I softly said as I leaned down to give her a little peck on her cute button-nose.

“You missed the target, Mike,” Lisa giggled and pulled me back down, with her hands making sure my aim was zeroed in on her lips.

I wasn’t too surprised to see that Lisa semi-crashed on the short thirteen minute drive from the Uplands to her house in Huron Heights. I was happy that I didn’t have to help Lisa with getting in her house. She perked right up when I gently shook her left thigh after parking in her drive. Looking at her in the soft light from her back door, I thought she had more vim in her eyes and face than I’d seen since last Friday.

“I had an awesome time, Mike. I think I really needed that ‘sexual healing’ with you after lying in that hospital bed for several days,” Lisa softly chuckled after we shared a sweet kiss.

“I was so worried about you, Bricky. I’m glad you’re doing better,” I replied as I pulled her in for a tight hug. “Just in case you didn’t know, I had an awesome time being your sexual healer. Just don’t feel like you have to do that ... that backdoor stuff as much as Tempe likes to have it done.”

“I know that, Mike. We can do it every once in a while ... when the mood strikes, ‘kay?”

“‘Kay, Bricky. Get a good night’s sleep, and I’ll see you tomorrow morning at Sammy’s.”

“Love ya, Mike.”

“Back at ya, with more,” I replied as I watched her head into the back of her house.

With the main car tracks on Highbury mostly bare and dry from this fall’s first snow, I took it easy and made my way home in about sixteen minutes; compared with my normal twelve, to thirteen minute drive.

Labatt’s Guest House

7:18am, Saturday, November 17, 1979

“I never see vehicle dat big before,” Zupena Zupanic exclaimed in her thick Eastern European accent as we watched two extra-long limousines pull up in front of the Sammy’s main estate house.

“Those ARE bigger than the one we normally ride in,” Cano replied with a grin on her face.

“Will our guitars and Cano’s keytar fit in the trunk?” Brick said as she carried her bass guitar case over to the limo driven by Jason.

“We’ll make room for them, Ms. Lisa,” Jason said with a smile as he walked towards Lisa, Eda and Sammy at the guest house door.

“Did you bring a set of drum sticks to hold, Eda?” Mr. Labatt asked on this super chilly November morning.

“Yes, sir,” Eda replied as she lightly danced in place, trying to stay warm in her light weight jacket. Wayne then held up E’s two pieces of wood in his hand to let everyone know he had her musical weapons.

“I count fifteen of you. Who’s not here, yet?” Ms. Katie asked in her knee-length fur coat.

“There’s Andrew and Heidi, right now,” Warren said as we watched Dr. Werring pull into the circle with his son and Heidi in the front seat of his 1971, F-150 pickup.

“Let’s get those bags and instruments put up, and then head on down to the JLC,” Mr. Labatt said as Kalena and Jason went over to say hello to Heidi and Andrew as they got out of that pickup.

In about seven minutes the two extra-long, stretch limos and Mr. Labatt’s BMW sedan were headed downtown to his father’s namesake arena, the John Labatt Center (JLC). I marveled at Zupena, Anthony, Tina, Elizabeth and Brad’s wonderment at riding in a vehicle like this. I had to chuckle when I recalled our similar reaction to the Labatt’s regular sized limo pulling in front of my house on a cool morning last spring. Just like us last spring, they weren’t sure that the drinks, fresh fruits, cheeses, crackers and muffins were there for the taking.

On the twenty minute trip downtown, all of us had some type of breakfast food and a cold pop. Because I definitely wasn’t bashful about getting things, I had two chocolate chip muffins and a semi-decent amount of strawberries, grapes and pineapple chunks. Brick and I had to reassure Tempe that it was alright for her to have a little of everything, and that she could even carry an apple into the JLC with her.

During this short ride, as Tempe was in conversation with her sister and Anthony, Brick leaned against my shoulder and softly whispered, “Don’t tell Tempe how we finished things last night, ‘kay? I wanna surprise her by doing that when we’re together.”

“You know I won’t share what we did, even with Tempe. You can tell her as much or as little as you want, Brick,” I softly whispered.

We were all surprised to see a group of newspaper and television reporters, along with photographers and cameramen, outside the JLC as our little convoy of three vehicles pulled up to the main entrance on King Street.

“Who should get out first with all these reporters and cameramen shooting?” Elizabeth smartly asked as Jason lowered the partition between the driver’s area and the main body of the limo.

“Your dad, Sammy, just suggested over our walkie-talkie that Mike, Lisa and you get out of the vehicle, first. Wyatt is telling Lynette and Ms. Eda the same thing, now,” Jason said with perfect timing to Lizzie’s question.

“I guess that makes sense,” Sammy replied to Jason and then smiled at Lisa and me.

“Should we wait in here for a moment or two before getting out?” Anthony asked.

“Maybe give the Bandettes five or six seconds before you guys slide out,” Jason suggested before he turned to get out of the limo.

“You go first, Cuda,” Sammy said with a smile.

“Nah-ha. You and Lis go first, and I’ll follow you out,” I countered and pointed to the door.

Sammy sighed but she knew I’d wait her out if it came down to a battle of wills. Our redheaded guitarist moved towards the rear door, and Brick quickly scooted after her. I took a deep breath and moved in behind Brick’s hunched over body as we waited for Jason to open the door.

“Enjoy the spotlight, guys,” Brad said as he tapped Sammy and Brick’s fannies before sharing a low-five with me.

“Better get used to it, too,” Anthony added with a laugh from his back seat location in the limo.

“Thanks for reminding us, Bro,” Lisa softly said as the rear door opened to the bright blue sky but cold late fall morning air.

“That’s what I’m here for, Lis,” Anthony added as he lightly smacked his sister’s blue jean covered calf.

“Remember to smile, guys,” Tempe softly said as Jason reached into the limo to take Sammy’s proffered hand.

I was damn glad to see that Mr. Murphie of CBS Records was waiting for us outside the limousine. I hoped that he would know the best way to deal with these media people, as none of us had any experience with this type of media event or coverage.

“Hello, folks,” Mr. Murphie said as he waved Lynette and Eda over to him after I exited the limo.

“Hey, Mr. Murphie,” Sammy replied with a smile as the photographers were snapping pictures of us.

“If you don’t mind, just smile for the cameras and let me talk with these people out here. You’ll get a chance to talk inside ... in a more controlled environment,” Mr. Murphie said which caused a sigh of relief to escape from a few of our tensed up bodies.

“I’m pretty sure we can smile,” Lynette said with a hesitant laugh.

“Let’s get your friends out here, and then we’ll head inside,” Mr. Murphie said to Jason and waved over to Mr. Wyatt at the second limo.

I smiled and blew a kiss to Tempe as she was the first non-Bandette from the limousine. A few of the adults gasped when Zupena, the six-foot-three inch blonde beauty from Latvia stepped up beside my foot shorter girlfriend, Tempe.

“Mike! Mike! What does it feel like being naked with these beautiful girls on stage?” a reporter shouted as we started to walk towards the entrance to the Labatt Center.

“How do you kids feel about being on television and playing naked?” a Global television reporter shouted.

“I heard you threw a game winning touchdown pass, yesterday, Mike. Which felt better, winning the NIS challenge or leading your team on a championship winning touchdown drive?” a male reporter with a London Free Press ID badge yelled at me as we walked up the stairs.

“Please bring those questions inside, if you’d like an answer to them,” Mr. Murphie replied before he started up the stairs to the main entrance.

“Which one of you Bandettes didn’t perform at this challenge, yesterday,” the first reporter shouted as we reached the doors to the large sports and entertainment building.

I squeezed Brick’s hand after she stutter-stepped slightly, and looked back after hearing that shouted question. “Don’t say anything, Brick. Just keep walking with Sammy and Tempe,” I softly said as I held the door open for my band mates and friends.

After we walked onto auditorium stage where we had performed yesterday; we said hi to the members of Six Feet Above, and to our friends in the Shania Twain Band. I then saw all our parents sitting in the first few rows of seats.

Looking at Brick and Eda, I said, “C’mon.”

All of the three winning band members followed us down the few steps to say hello to our respective parental units, and to thank them for coming to our first press conference.

“Hey, with a free breakfast, you know we couldn’t pass that up,” my dad laughed and waved to the other parents after I told him I appreciated him taking off work to come to this.

“Did you kids see the killer spread they had laid out for this event?” Tom McGregory added to my dad’s statement.

“That spread was awesome,” Mr. Robertson said simultaneously with Paul and Cathy’s dad.

“We didn’t stop at it, but it looked good, Daddy,” Cano replied.

“Mike, Shania, Aaron, everybody, we’re about set for you up here,” Ms. Trasker said from the front of the stage area.

The press conference was interesting to say the least. Our three bands each sat at a table with a microphone, which we passed to the appropriate person. We were mostly asked a variety of somewhat stupid questions about being naked, either at school or while playing. I was proud of my band mates, as well as the members of Six Feet Above and the STB, who all turned those questions around to focus on our musical abilities.

I finally lost my cool though when a reporter for Toronto’s Globe and Mail newspaper stated, “Not a single one of you kids, especially you girls, are ‘hard on the eyes’. Do you think that played a role in your winning this NIS competition?”

“Look!” I said with a good bit of annoyance in my voice. “If we were dressed at this band challenge, I still think the results would have been the same. As our youngest band member, Lisa said when we decided to compete in this challenge, ‘Once you get past seeing us naked, you’ll realize we have a bunch of dang good songs’. Now, let me ask you a question or two. Were you aware that we were the first band to have back-to-back record breaking crowds at the Aeolian Hall or that we opened up for April Wine at London’s Western Fair? Also, were you actually here, yesterday to hear our performances? If not, I think your question is way out of line!”

When the reporter hesitated to respond to my questions, Cano spitefully said, “If all you’re here for is the nudity angle, then you’re one sorry reporter and an even worse person.”

“Amen, Lynette,” Suzy Wilson, the female band member in Six Feet Above responded with a disgusted head shake at the reporter.

Mr. Murphie then stepped up between our table and the one the STB were sitting behind and said, “All three of these bands are truly excellent. Why would we, at CBS Records, have signed all three of them to recording contracts if they were just a bunch of pretty faces and buff bodies.”

“When did you sign them to recording contracts?” a reporter from the Toronto Star asked.

“We signed Mike and the Time Bandettes a couple of weeks ago to a three album deal, and we talked to both Shania’s band and Six Feet Above on Thursday night at their hotel. Both groups signed their contracts with us after they performed on Friday. And for the record, all of these contracts were NOT contingent on them winning a spot in the NIS concert in January.”

“Whoaaa! All you guys signed with CBS! That’s great!” Sammy said with a smile.

“Why didn’t you tell us, last night?” Eda asked our friends in the STB.

“Mr. Murphie asked us to wait on telling you, or anyone. He wanted to announce it at this event,” Shania replied with a huge smile on her face.

“Well, congrats,” I said as my band members all got up and went over to shake hands with the members of Six Feet Above and then over to our friends at the other table.

After the Q & A session ended, all three bands were asked to pose with their instruments, for some promotional photos. All fourteen of us musicians breathed a sigh of relief when Ms. Trasker responded to a photographer’s request.

“Today’s press conference isn’t a sanctioned NIS program event, so these kids aren’t required to disrobe for this event. Unless one of them is selected for their school’s NIS program between now and Christmas, your next opportunity to see them naked will be on Friday, January 4^th, here at the John Labatt Center.”

All three of the winning NIS concert bands had several hundred band photos taken in various band arrangements. When our band was being photographed, a couple of photographers asked if we had different shirts to wear for a couple of pictures.

“Lynette has a regional basketball game at eleven, so we’re all wearing Medway shirts as a show of support for her and her teammates,” I replied when they asked why we were all in red Medway sweatshirts, t-shirts or polos.

“But aren’t the two youngest band members from Montcalm Secondary?” the London Free Press reporter asked from behind her paper’s photographer.

“Yes, but we’re going to support Cano and her teammates. It’s not against E’s or my religion to wear Medway’s colors or shirts,” Brick replied and then jokingly added that ending statement.

“Good answer, Brick,” Paul laughed.

“Why do your friends call you, Brick?” the Global Television reporter asked of Lisa.

We all just shook our heads with our guitars, keytar or drum sticks in our hands as Lisa started to blush. She took a deep breath and simply replied, “The Commodores’ song,” as she crossed her arms under her large boobs to give them a little more heft to clarify her short, honest answer.

“And that song doesn’t do you justice, Brick,” Paul added with a bigger laugh.

Because this was before the digital age of photography like in my other timeline, we knew we’d have to wait to see which promotional pictures were chosen for the NIS concert or in Sunday’s or Monday’s newspapers. I hoped that they would pick either a picture with me squatting down with Silverburst in front of my four band mates, or a picture with me holding Silverburst’s body on my shoulder with the two girls on either side of me. The girls all seemed to like the idea of them kneeling on one knee with me in a regular standing guitar posture behind them best. We still know we’d have little to no say in which picture or pictures they’d use.

After the photo session ended, all three winning bands milled about ‘till shortly after nine-o’clock.

Mr. Labatt then said, “If Lynette and Zupena need to be at Strathroy this morning by nine-forty-five, nine-fifty, you guys had best start to head on out to the limousines.”

We quickly congratulated the five members of Six Feet Above for a final time, and then waved down at our parents who were standing at their seats.

As I was chatting with Lisa and Tempe on the stage, we heard a shouted, “Congrats on your football championship, and winning the band challenge, Mik-Hail!”

In the darkened rear of the three hundred seat auditorium, I saw a faint image of a young girl and an older lady. Before anyone could say anything to them, the far exit opened and Canella’s still slender body was highlighted by the bright morning sun. With a final wave, the mother of my unborn superstar and her mother left the auditorium.

“Oh my God, Mike!” Lisa said as she and Tempe quickly gave me a hug of support as my legs seemed to give out on me for a moment.

“Whoa, I didn’t expect to see Nella, here,” Cano softly replied as she quickly stepped up to offer her support.

“What was that all about, Mike?” the reporter for the London Free Press asked.

I immediately knew I had to stall for as long as possible to allow Canella and her mom to get as far away from the JLC as possible. I didn’t want the reporters to follow or find out about that girl who caused that surprised reaction in me.

“If y’all come over here, I’ll tell you,” I said as I squeezed Lisa’s and Tempe’s hands.

The London Free Press, Timmins Time, Kingston Herald and the Toronto Star reporters all came over to where I had moved with my band mates and a few close friends. With their notepads opened, I then said, “That girl is a true pain-in-my-ass. She desperately wanted to go out with me after we played at her high school prom last spring. I think she’s an ounce or two shy of a full pound, if you know what I mean.”