Chapter 6: The Thunderbolt

I’d had some serious thinking to do about what I could do with the release of my share of the insurance money from my parents’ death. I had passed my twenty-first birthday and the amount was much larger than even I anticipated. Grampa had hinted that the accumulated interest and his shrewd (in my opinion) investing had multiplied it over the nearly eighteen years since their passing. John and I would split nearly eight hundred thousand dollars and that was a lot of money for anyone to consider. I was in no hurry to use the funds. They were still growing and I was just as happy to leave them for now since I had no clear objective for them. John wouldn’t receive his share for another two years, but he wasn’t in any way concerned about it.

The second year at Sacramento State was little different from the first other than a different pair of dorms and different classes. Marianna and I didn’t have to change our routine very much. Our classes didn’t mesh, but we always found time to have lunch together at least once or twice a week, plus some organized study sessions. The question that was creeping into my thoughts was what might happen when we graduated. I knew, or was pretty sure I knew, what my destination was. But Marianna was very tight-lipped about her plans. I began to get a hint of what was to come in the late winter of 2001.

“You seem a little distracted lately,” I mentioned to her as we walked toward the Student Union building.

She nodded. “I’ve been thinking about what comes next after school,” she admitted.

“I’ve been wondering when you’d talk about that. Do you have a plan?”

She shook her head. “No ... but, some things have happened that I’ve just become aware of.”

“What kind of things?” I asked, my gut tightening in anticipation.

“I’ve been contacted about a recording contract, and I’ve also been approached by a business manager for artists. He wants to take me on as a client.”

“Wow! Your fame has spread farther than we thought.”

“It surprised me a lot too,” she said. “I’m meeting this man in San Francisco during the spring break to find out just what he has in mind.”

“Who is he? Have you heard of him before?” I wondered.

“No ... he’s not from here. He’s flying in from New York and he’s originally from Italy. He promotes and represents his clients for live performances. I don’t plan to agree to anything until I have a lawyer look into the contract he’s offering,” she said shyly.

“He’s offering you a contract?” I said in surprise.

“Possibly ... but I don’t know if it’s something I want to do ... you know ... traveling from place to place, giving performances.”

She seemed uncomfortable as she told me about this new situation. I was far more than uncomfortable; I was completely gutted. I had no idea that she could be off, traveling to who knows where without me. I felt my dreams crashing down around me as she spoke.

“Uhhm ... do you think you would like that ... I mean, being a performer on stage, live?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to expect, Nick. It’s all new to me.”

“Yeah ... well it’s all new to me too. When did all this happen? How did it happen that he heard about you?”

“I made some demonstration recordings late last year and my instructor sent them off without my knowing he would do that. He got some feedback from a recording company that said I might be suitable as a session musician. It wasn’t until just recently that Mister Roberto Botelli contacted me about representing me as my manager for live performances and recording contracts.”

I was so stunned that I didn’t know how to respond. Was it possible that she would simply disappear from my world for a life of glamour on the road?

“His name doesn’t sound familiar. Is there anywhere you can find out about him? You’d want to make sure he’s legitimate wouldn’t you?” I said carefully.

“Yes, of course,” she agreed immediately. “I’ll ask my instructor who I might contact to establish his credentials.”

“Good,” I said, hoping that it all might fall apart if he turned out to be a charlatan. But that single piece of information that she might have a different future than I imagined had really hit me hard. Just on quick analysis, I didn’t see a place for me in her life if her future was as a live performer. I had some responsibilities at home with Grampa’s store, and those were promises I made a long time ago. The kindness and encouragement of my grandparents for both John and I could not be ignored. I couldn’t do that to them.

Spring break was a matter of three weeks in the future and I was feeling no less dismal as it approached. Marianna got some information on Mr. Botelli and he seemed to be legitimate. Now it would be a matter of waiting to see just what kind of offer he was planning to make. I know Marianna was aware of my change in mood and she did her best to try and cheer me up, but those temporary sessions didn’t seem to last. I really wanted to know what her future held. I also was waging a war with myself on whether I should declare my love for her and ask her to marry me. Would that be fair to her? No ... of course not. I was just going to have to wait and see which way the cards would fall.

They did not fall in my favor. Marianna returned from her meeting with Botelli and was buoyed with enthusiasm at his offer. It meant travel in Europe and America. It meant fame that she never imagined for herself. It meant recognition for all the long hours of practice she had put in. Of course, it also meant a lot of money. It took less than a minute to know my fate. She was going to sign and she was going to leave, probably before Labor Day. I don’t think I ever felt as low as I did when she told me about her plan. I didn’t have the heart to discourage her, so I pretended to be enthusiastic about her future too. It seemed to pass detection by Marianna, but no one else believed it.

“You’re heartbroken, aren’t you Nicholas,” my grandmother said, stroking my back as I sat at the kitchen table.

I nodded, too choked up to speak.

“I’m so sorry. I know you had your dreams about Marianna. Now, you must move on. You’ve done the right thing, even though it hurt you so much. She’s going to achieve her dream and you couldn’t bring yourself to stand in her way. That says a lot about you, Nicholas. I know it hurts, but your grandfather and I are so proud of you.”

I could see the tears in the corners of her eyes and knew she was hurting for me. I was close to tears myself, but they could wait until I was alone. But the hollow feeling I had when this all was first announced had never left and perhaps I had already accepted that this would be the end result.

We spent every hour we could together that summer. We had both graduated; Marianna with honors in Fine Arts, and me with a degree in Business Administration with a minor in Computer Implementation. I had joined the newly formed computer club the past winter and benefited greatly as it turned out. I had renewed my plan to modernize my grandfather’s store systems and I was pleased to find a number of programs that could be used on a desktop computer.

Now, with Marianna planning to leave, I switched my focus to the hardware store. I started examining which computer system to purchase. None of this was behind my grandfather’s back. I was up front about what I planned and why, making sure he understood my reasoning. He was very supportive, explaining that his reluctance beforehand was his perceived inability to learn something new and complicated. That was a relief. The last thing I wanted to do was upset him with change in the store that he virtually founded himself.

I spent a good deal of time at the Alvarez home, both with Marianna and her family. They were as sad to see her go as I was, but like me, didn’t want to stand in her way and her future success. They insisted that I stay in touch with them and I had a standing invitation to dinner on Saturday night whenever I could make it. I think my grandparents now understood just how tight the relationship between the Alvarez family and me was.

John and Mitzi were sailing along with their studies at Geary Polytechnic. John was always an honor student, and university was no different. Mitzi had to work harder to keep up with him, but she managed to get “firsts” in her key subjects. I had little doubt they were going to be a permanent couple. John continued to play the drums with a band of schoolmates, the cowboy hat and sunglasses earning him the nickname of “Silent John.”

Mitzi, of course, was right there with him with her saxophone and anytime I saw them together, it was clear they were joined at the hip, if not other places. What would become of them in two years when they finished their studies I did not know, but I would be stunned if they were not together. Mitzi was one of those special people who saw what John could be with love and encouragement and she was constantly building up his courage to try new things. He was a lucky guy, in my opinion, but that was colored by my recent realization that come September, I would have no one in my life like that.

There were a lot of tears shed by the Alvarez family and me when Marianna boarded the plane for New York. She promised to keep in touch with us, but I wondered how long that would last. She was headed for a life of fame and glamour as I saw it, and I wouldn’t be a part of it at all. Well, time would tell just how much contact she kept with us.

As I drove home from the airport, I pondered just what I would do next. Yes, the store awaited me, but there was a matter of my other life – my personal life. Would I forget about Marianna and move on to some other young lady? It didn’t feel like it right now, but perhaps in time I’d get over her loss and find someone. I just couldn’t imagine anyone who could replace her. It just didn’t seem possible.