Chapter 8

“In a way, but it is not so simple as that. The peculiarities of varying figures often do not mean there is a crime. It can be as simple as an expansion of the work of a department, meaning extra expenditure on staff salaries and expenses; more spent on supplies, and so on. Finding the differences allows you to ask the questions that tell you whether there is an innocent explanation, and if not, you look into it further. Once you have dismissed all the innocent explanations, you start to question possible criminality.”

“So do people do this sort of investigating as a career?” enquired Elizabeth.

“They can do. It is called forensic accounting, but most of it is done by computer programs nowadays. It is expensive so it is only banks and other major financial organisations that need that to happen. If your organisation seems to be running well, there is little point to doubt your own accounts. The problem lies with organisations or companies that lie in the middle range: too big, but not big enough, if you see what I mean. That is the target market for our family’s company: The Recovery Enterprise Group.”

Sidra sat up to suggest, “Dad, does this mean that you are getting paid for going through these accounts? If so, then me and my sister should be getting our cut, if we are going to help.”

“I can see how you might think that, but the company doesn’t work that way. Instead, the concept is that if we find losses and prevent them from continuing, we get a percentage of the savings. At least that is what will happen in the future. This case is what you might call an exploration of concept.”

“How do you mean? Sidra wanted to know.

“We are not asking for payment on this contract. We are getting experience in the field, so to speak, and the University are getting a free examination of their accounts to look for ways to save money.”

“Oh. That makes sense, Reg ... I mean, Dad.”

“In the same way, I see this as a learning process for you young ladies. You will learn about accounting and double-entry book-keeping, and with a bit of luck you might come across something worth exploring further. I can say that, should you find an item worth our efforts, you will be considered for an ex-gratia payment.”

Elizabeth stared at Reg and then looked at Sidra, finding an equally curious face. “Dad, what does ‘ex-gratia’ mean?”

Reg smiled. “Another bit of learning for you. It is Latin, meaning ‘by favour’, and is used in modern English to mean something done out of the goodness of your heart. In the legal world, it means an item done freely, without expectation of payment of any kind. Freda will have learned about that, as she is studying law; her father is a successful lawyer.”

Sidra pointed out a clash of meanings. “But an ex-gratia payment doesn’t make sense. If it is ex-gratia, that means no payment, surely.”

“Not quite, you sharp cookie. It means a payment where there was no obligation or expectation of payment: a payment that the payer does not have to make, but decides to do so out of gratitude; by favour.”

“Ah. I get it. You might decide to give us a payment, even though it is not promised.”

“That’s it. We don’t have income coming in from the contract, thus we don’t have the company finance to pay you, BUT I might decide you merit a reward from my my own pocket, if I feel it is justified.”

“That is more acceptable, Dad. Show us what you want us to do, but first show us how the system works, using the figures you have to work with.”

Reg set to and explained what the figures meant, how all the columns were topped with a heading that indicated the subject that all the figures in that column referred to. The final column gave the total for each line, and the total for that column at the bottom would be also the total of all the column totals on that horizontal line.

They soon got the idea, and Reg was able to give each of them a set of figures for a department or faculty to look through. He could tell that their excitement was growing at the idea of them scrutinising the university’s finances. He had to make a point of emphasizing that all the figures were completely private, and they could never talk to any outsider about what was in them. This calmed them down somewhat, but made them feel even more important.

After an hour or so, they were exhausted with all the figures that had been going before their eyes, so Reg called a halt.

“Okay, girls, I think that is enough for now. Did you see anything that caused you any concern?”

Both said no, and seemed disappointed, so Reg reassured them, “Girls, 99 per cent of what you see in such accounts is beyond reproach; perfectly accurate and justifiable in every way, so please don’t feel as if you have wasted your time. It is like a police investigation: most of the information you collect will tell you nothing, but quite often it is the ‘nothings’ that point up the relevant. Think of yourselves as detectives collecting information that might or might not be relevant.”

This cheered them up, and they went back to their usual studies, feeling refreshed again. The change from their studying was almost as good as a rest for them.

Reg was left to struggle through the accounts by himself, so he was happy when Holly came through to speak to him.

“Reg, Freda has been on the phone to me. She says she is bringing two of her fellow law students to dinner tonight. Is that okay with you?”

“Of course. Why shouldn’t it be fine, Holly? You don’t imagine I am in charge here! My wives rule the roost. As far as I am concerned, some new faces at our table will be interesting. Do we know anything about them?”

“Not really. She just said she wanted to bring a couple of the guys home for a meal, but what she meant by ‘guys’ could be men or women. Women is more likely, as I doubt she would be inviting a couple of men to meet her husband!”

Reg laughed at the picture Holly was portraying. “Who knows, Holly? It doesn’t matter to me; anyone who is at the university is bound to be interesting. Law students, she said?”

“Yes, law students, so they may bore you with legal talk!”

“Hey, even legal talk could be interesting, as we found with the questions over the artwork we found in this building. Legal points can be the difference between a windfall and a liability.”

“Maybe for you Reg, but I don’t expect them to be interesting to anyone else. Any thoughts on what we should have for dinner?”

“Do we have the makings for roast beef and Yorkshire pudding? The Robsons may be able to help with that: I heard that in Yorkshire they have a Yorkshire pudding, plate-size, with gravy, before the meat course. That is, a large pudding each! I presume it is very light in texture.”

Holly was interested. “If I can phone the butcher and get a large piece of roasting beef delivered in the next hour or two, we can do that. It takes a lot of time to roast a large joint. The Yorkshire puds are simple and easy to make. We can do a bunch of veg to go with it. Leave it to me, Reg.”

She shot off to phone the butcher, with whom the Robertsons had an account.

Reg was interrogated at lunchtime by the Robson girls.

“What’s this we hear about two visitors at dinner, Reg?”

Reg looked from one to the other before replying.

“Ladies, this is another part of your training here. Decisions about visitors for meals or any other reason are a matter for the master and mistress of the household, and so should not be the subject of interrogation by anyone else. You can take a gentle approach when seeking information, such as “X mentioned that we will see visitors at dinner tonight. Is it anyone we know?” Or, “Should we dress formally for dinner, for your visitors, or is it an informal event?”

The subtle approach is much better than what sounded like a challenge: “What’s this we hear?” Ladies, I learned quickly from my girls that a cautious attitude is much more preferable in social intercourse. It implies an interest, and not a complaint. The other lesson I learned was to be slow to speak, rather than rushing in with a query.

To answer you directly, I have no idea who these two are, other than classmates of Freda on her law course. Does that satisfy you?”

Hermione had gone red at the start of Reg’s speech, but now relented.

“Thank you for letting us know, Reg. Do you wish us to vacate our spaces to allow for the visitors? We can eat with the others at the second sitting.”

“An excellent response, Hermione. I have no idea, so please check with the twins about the seating arrangement.”

As soon as one of the twins appeared from the kitchen to speak with Reg, Hermione asked her, “Should Jemima and myself move to the other table for dinner, to allow space for the visitors?”

Carol and I worked it out, Hermione. You don’t need to move. We can squeeze the chairs a little closer and add one place on each side, if everyone keeps their elbows in! The ones at each end may find themselves on the corner of the table, but it will make things cosy for everyone.”

Reg asked her, “Should I shift to a normal chair, Holly? I can cope with that much better now.”

“That’s what I came to ask. If you can do that, it will certainly help, Reg., thanks. We’ll fetch a chair for you. Does this mean your wound is healing well?”

“It does. It feels much more comfortable now. I still won’t eat too much: I don’t want my skin too tight round my middle.” He laughed at his own joke, and Holly grinned also.

It seemed a long wait until the girls got home. There were three vehicles, as Hubert and Herbert Pringle had their own shared car. It was an old Peugeot, much loved as shown by the well polished exterior. They parked judiciously, further along from the girls’ cars, allowing the wives to enter first. Freda hung back to be at the door as the young men got there.

Reg had made his way to the hall, for the meeting, so Freda welcomed the two lads into the house, and introduced Reg.

“Herbert, Hubert, this is my husband, Reg.”

The lads were identical twins, just like Carol and Holly. They were around five foot ten, with a mop of curly fair hair, but pleasant faces. They seemed apprehensive about Freda’s husband and family, so Reg tried to put them at ease.

“Welcome to our home, lads. I hear good things about you from Freda, so we thought you ought to visit.”

“It is nice of you to allow us to come to dinner ... Sir.” Herbert or Hubert seemed unsure at this seemingly younger man who was apparently Freda’s husband. “Are you a legal student too?”

Reg gave a quick laugh. “No such luck. I am doing a general degree at the moment, till I decide what to specialise in. Freda is doing law as she hopes to join her father once she graduates. Do come in and meet the others in this complicated household.”

Hubert noticed Reg walking very carefully in front of them, and asked, “Are you hurting, Reg?”

“Just being careful, lads. I am recovering from a recent injury. I am still signed off from classes, but the university have been sending material to me so that I don’t miss anything important.” He led them into the sitting room, where a table was laid out with wine and soft drinks. “Help yourself to a drink while we wait to be called for dinner. I am uncertain of the timetable. Freda, could you ask Holly or Carol as to when we are expected for dinner?”

“Will do, darling. Boys, dig in. The drinks won’t dry up, but there are others to help you dispose of them!”

As she went out, she was replaced by Prudence, Frances, Erika and Fiona. Fiona stared at the Pringle twins, and exclaimed, “It is you two! I didn’t know you were coming.”

Reg raised an eyebrow, and Fiona noticed. She told him, “These two were in the Drama Club last year. They were cast as the Ugly Sisters in the Christmas pantomime show. They were great!”

One of the lads offered a hand, “Hi, Miss Prentiss. Nice to see you again.”

“Hi, boys. And it is Mrs Robertson now. Reg is my husband.”

“Beg pardon.” The words were a cross between a question and an exclamation.

The other girls introduced themselves, “I am Prudence and this is Erika and Frances. Jessica should be along shortly. She is finalising things for the dinner.”

The other young man said to he, “Nice to meet you, Miss; and you other ladies too. Are you residents in this building?”

Frances gave him a pleasant smile. “I should say so, considering that we are married to Reg.”

The caused his jaw to drop, until at last his memory filled him in.

“Oh! You are the Robertson women we heard about at the university!”

Frances countered, “Heard in the nicest possible way, I hope.”

“Um ... yes, of course, Mrs Robertson. Very unusual, but no adverse comment, I believe.”

“Excellent! Then we can offer you a decent feed, in that case.”

“Any room for some more in here?” asked Jessica, shepherding Sidra and Elizabeth into the sitting room. She came over to the twin men.

“Gentlemen, I am Jessica Robertson and this is our daughter Sidra and our daughter Elizabeth.”

The two teenagers shook hands and curtsied to the men. Jessica noted the skewed looks on their faces, and explained, “Sidra is my daughter from a previous marriage and is now Reg’s daughter. Elizabeth is our adopted daughter. She lost her parents in a car accident.”

Reg interrupted. “What’s the state of play over dinner, my love?”

Jessica gave him a ‘thumbs-up’. “Doing fine. The roast is ready and they are preparing the Yorkshires as we speak.”

“Lovely. In that case, we can make our way into the dining room. Do we have table placings, Jessica?”

“The girls thought not. They didn’t know who was coming, so decided it was best to not use name cards. We just choose our own places; take your wine glasses with you, gentlemen. I presume you, Reg, will be at the head of the table?”

“Delighted, my dear. I have asked for a normal chair, instead of the padded chair, so as not to take up too much space.”

They made their way through, and the ladies made sure that Herbert and Hubert were on opposite sides, facing each other and surrounded by Robertson wives who all had a happy demeanour about them. The Pringles were unaware that this was the glow of pregnancy.

As they settled in to wait for the food, chit-chat went on. Fiona told Reg about the Pringles, “The boys were on holiday on the Norfolk Broads last summer, doing a bit of boating.”

“Nice place, I understand. Never been there myself.” Reg commented.

Fiona informed him,”Oh, it has gorgeous scenery. It is a wonderful unspoilt place, a real natural wonderland.”

Reg gave a little smile and nodded. “Certainly unspoilt now, but not natural, Fiona my love.”

“Not natural? It has been there for hundreds of years at least, with no industry to speak of, so certainly natural.”

Reg agreed, “Certainly natural now, but not originally. In the 11th and 12th century, the Broads had no water in them. They were open pits producing peat by spade and shovel for the home fires and for export. At one point Norwich Cathedral was taking in over 300,000 tons of peat per year, mostly for export, so these pits were quite a lucrative peat excavation set of sites. Production ceased because a sea-level rise flooded the deep peat pits, gradually overwhelming all of them. They turned into lakes that became the Norfolk Broads and the Suffolk Broads; then over hundreds of years the peat pits were forgotten, covered by the water. It was only when they were researched by an archaeologist in the 1960s that they were recognised for what they were.”

As Fiona marvelled at this news, Hermione and Jemima entered with flat plates with steaming Yorkshire puddings on top, and a couple of jugs of aromatic gravy. They announced, “The roast beef and vegetables will follow as soon as your plates are empty. Dig in to your genuine Yorkshire puddings with gravy to begin the meal.”

The two Robsons’ poised allure struck the Pringle twins immediately. They were quite taken by these good-looking women bearing the plates. Unfortunately, the ladies saw the young men as too young to be of interest to early twenties women, and so ignored their admiring glances.

While the boys were thus admiring them, they vanished back to the kitchen to collect the vegetables, and potatoes. Carol and Holly were to bring the roast beef and the long knife for Reg to carve the beef.

Sidra was watching from the door, to estimate when the Yorkshire puddings had been consumed, and signalled to the kitchen.

The procession started with Hermione carrying the boiled potatoes and Jemima with the steamed carrots and peas on a tray. After they had laid these on the table and removed the emptied Yorkshire pudding plates, Carol appeared with the large roast beef and Holly with the carving knife, two-tined fork and the sharpening steel. These were all laid in front of Reg for his attention as head of household. Sidra and Elizabeth followed behind, each with a new pile of warmed plates on a tray.

“Will you do the honours, Reg?” asked Holly.

Reg proceeded to sharpen the carving knife with the steel, before cutting thin slices of beef from the roast. Sidra offered Reg one plate at a time to receive the beef slices, and Elizabeth took the plate to lay it in front of one of the diners. Elizabeth was careful to lay the plates of food from the right of the diner, as she had been shown by the wives.

Once each person had his plate of beef, he or she could help themselves to the potatoes and other vegetables. After they were happy that all those served were tucking in, the servers moved to the second table in the room and laid it for themselves.

This gave them time to hurriedly eat their meal, ready to head to the kitchen when the other table seemed to have finished their main course. The six of them were back together with a tray each of tinned fruit and ice cream, which they served to the main table.

As they went round the table, Carol and Holly had more of a chance to look at the two guests, and were astonished to recognise the Pringle brothers as twins. At the same time, the men were distracted from their fellow diners, realising as Carol and Holly stood together that they were also twins.

There was an intake of breath on both sides at this mutual recognition.

“You are twins!” declared both pairs at the same time. Reg smiled, along with all his wives. Bingo!

Now to see what would happen next.

Carol and Holly turned on Freda.

“You didn’t tell us that the visitors were twins! And that they are handsome men!” The Pringle twins beamed at this compliment.

Freda smiled sweetly. “I didn’t tell you ANYTHING about them and you didn’t ask, so what is the problem?”

Holly and Carol glared at her, stymied. They turned to face the two men, and apologised for the underhand way in which they had been invited. The men looked puzzled.

Herbert said, “But Freda didn’t tell us that there were twins in her family. She just invited us to a meal at her home. She didn’t do anything wrong. She certainly didn’t tell us that you were good-looking, and we see that you are pretty competent too.”

Carol ventured, “Strictly speaking, we are not Freda’s family. We are cousins of Frances, who is the Chief Wife here. We are simple employees, as cook and housekeeper; and we have to be competent, to do that job.”

Reg interrupted, “Carol, Holly; Herbert and Hubert? Can I suggest you take your discussion through to the kitchen, once we have eaten, and away from the rest of us? The boys can help with the clearing up, if they want to assist you.”

There was a silence until Hubert declared, “That is a good solution, Mr Robertson. If the rest of you ladies do not mind, we can transfer this argument to the kitchen and sort it out there.”

All those at the table saw this as an equitable solution, and the men swiftly cleared their plates. They were then shown through to the kitchen by Carol and Holly. Hubert could be heard asking, “How old are you girls? I should have thought you would be at university by now.” Holly was trying to explain their feelings about university as they vanished from the dining room.

Hermione snorted after they had left. “Childish antics! I prefer my men more mature than that.”

Reg commented, “Chacun a son gout, Hermione. Each to his own taste”, he translated. “Women tend to like older men and men tend to go for slightly younger women. I fell in between, when Frances and her clique ambushed me. Their approach was more practical and self-serving on both sides, and that was what I thought was happening; but that was before love reared its intrusive head and smote us all.

I have to admit that two of my wives are a few years older than me, but that makes no difference to me. Age is not a long-term factor in a marriage; it is more a matter of compatibility. We have been blessed that way, to my surprise. Mind you, I had no preconceptions. It may be that preconceptions are what mars a marriage: The reality is different from the fantasy world of a girl in love, or a boy for that matter.

From what I have read, most arranged marriages turn out successfully – Jessica’s was one of the exceptions to that general experience. When you don’t have any idea of what will happen, you can accept reality more readily.

Would you accept that thesis, Jessica?”

Jessica was nodding, and spoke up to clarify her opinion. “As a rule, arranged marriages are successful, and can end up with love between the partners. There is always a bad apple or two in every society. I happened to get one of them when I was seventeen, but not now. Reg accepts his women as they come, and loves them with equal enthusiasm.”

Hermione huffed at this, but merely commented, “I have yet to find a man worth marrying, and arranged marriages are a thing of the past, where farming families intermarried to be able to continue their farming practices with offspring brought up in the trade. Jemima and I have no wish to be married off to farmers!”