Chapter 1

Home was not a place, Reginald Robertson concluded. It was an idea.

No, not quite that either.

It was more a sense of being comfortable where you are, not just spatially, but where your life was heading as well. It was a mental and emotional state of well-being that constituted the feeling you called ‘home’, as well as the physical experience of relaxation or being comfortable that came with being in the building or apartment that had the appellation of one’s home.

He had begun to appreciate that realisation during his spell in hospital, recovering from his stab wound. His back was uncomfortable for days, being required to lie prone on his stomach because the deep stab wound was in his lower back region. It was fortunate that the knife had not struck anything vital during the attack on him. Lying on your front for long periods is not as easy as one might expect be. Eventually the physicians allowed him to lie on his side, within strict time limits, and that had improved matters.

He did get visits from his family members and friends, but other than kisses to his exposed face, nothing of a more emotional kind of physicality was possible; certainly not sex.

Indeed, his doctor in the hospital had regretfully explained that sex with his wife (the man was unaware how many wives Reg had) would be distinctly inadvisable for a couple of weeks minimum, for fear of opening up the wound again, and even then his wife would have to do most of the work.

Another factor that disturbed him during the first night in the acute ward of the local hospital, was the sheer frustration of not being able to have the lights out for sleeping; the noise of other patients coughing, moaning, or muttering in their sleep; the movement and discussion between nurses and ward orderlies over administrative issues, and the occasional transfer of a bed and/or patient into or out of the ward.

The eventual discovery that one could pay to have a private room instead of being in a multi-patient ward had been a revelation, and he gladly offered his credit card to have a private room if one was available. He was informed that, beyond individual rooms reserved for seriously ill patients, only a small number of private rooms were offered at each NHS hospital, but to his relief one was unoccupied and so he was transferred immediately.

The difference was palpable: sleep became easy, with the room light switched off or on by himself and no extraneous noise or other disturbance to interrupt his rest. Only the occasional painful twinge as he made an ill-advised move in bed roused him; plus the inevitable interruption by a nurse to administer at the specified interval whatever medication had been prescribed by the duty doctor. That last he could live with as inevitable hospital routine. Moving in bed by his own volition was a self-imposed physical hindrance; each painful twinge reminding him that he was still unwell.

Finally being released from hospital was a great joy. The appearance of a nurse with a set of loose clothing from his home, to dress him for the move to his house, alerted him to the knowledge that at least one of the family was here to collect him. The thought of being back to the welcoming arms of his wives made him put up with the indignity, under hospital rules, of being lifted into a hospital wheelchair and being trundled to Jessica’s waiting Volvo. A small bag of painkillers was handed by the porter to Jessica as his driver and presumed wife. The hospital porter eased Reg into the car’s back seat, which had been prepared by Jessica with several pillows to make him as comfortable as possible. The man slotted home the seat belt once Reg was seated comfortably, and said, “There you are, sir: safe journey home.”

As the man stepped back to close the car door, Reg thanked him for the great and careful assistance he had provided, and got a big smile in return. That suggested that not every patient was as volubly grateful for the efforts of the porters, who were low in the hospital hierarchy.

Before moving off, Jessica explained that when they got the call this morning that Reg was being released, all his wives were already on their way to their university classes, so Jessica took it upon herself to collect Reg from the hospital. Reg was anxious to receive a passionate kiss from Jessica after so many days of deprivation of female closeness, but knew he would have to wait until they got home.

The mid-thirties Pakistani woman told him, “The other girls at the house were delighted to hear that you were getting out. Carol and Holly wondered what they could prepare for your lunch, but I advised waiting until you arrived, to discover how hungry you were, or not. Sidra and Elizabeth were determined to be ready to show you what they had been studying while you were away. Elizabeth has already dropped several pounds from her weight, and is quite chuffed about it.”

Reg commented, “That’s all great news. I’m looking forward to meshing with the family again: the whole household in fact. I found myself missing them terribly, and that astonished me, after living most of my life pretty much on my own. It shows how much I have changed in just a few months.”

Jessica tossed her words over her shoulder from the driving seat, without taking her eyes off the road, “You have become a married man, Reg; a genuinely married man, not just a man with a wife, as I had experienced in my marriage for so long. That is the difference. You have accepted your responsibilities towards your wives, and now responsibilities towards your impending fatherhood. I could see that concern for others in you, right from the start when I first met you.

All of these factors makes for a coherent loving involvement that you never saw in your childhood. Even I am finding that same effect in my life, even though I was never completely on my own like you were. My interactions with my husband were very basic. He expected to be fed at mealtimes and get sex whenever he wanted it: that was pretty much it, for his macho lifestyle; oh, and for me to be shown off at church or social events as a trophy of some kind.

I never saw much emotion from him, except when he became angry, and that was far too often. Whatever it was that made him angry, at work or at home, I got the beatings as a result. It was not pleasant. You are SO different, my love.”

Reg moved his body slightly, easing his position. “Jessica, I love hearing you talk like that, but can we keep the chat till we get home? My back can feel every sideways movement of the car. Please make the turns gently at the corners, for my poor body’s sake, my dear.”

“Oh! Sorry, Reg. I was so pleased to have you near me again, my love, that I was forgetting you are still unwell! I’ll concentrate on smooth driving for now, yes of course.”

The silence reigned until they arrived at the house. Jessica gave a toot on the car horn, and within moments the LeBrun twins were out to help Reg ease out of the car and get him into the house. He gladly placed his arms round the welcoming shoulders of Holly and Carol as he walked slowly and gingerly to the door. Just a week or so off his feet, and his legs were noticing the difference in ability. He was glad of the help.

Once through the doorway, the twins asked in unison, “Where to, Reg?” and he suggested the dining room, to save him having to walk there at lunch time. They got him there, and asked Jessica to bring a cushioned chair through for Reg to be made comfortable. She did that swiftly, and they helped him into it, taking the opportunity to give him kisses as they did so, pushing the chair up to the table. He grinned and chuckled to himself: he was desperate for the attention of his wives, yet these delightful teenagers were the first to kiss him, and it felt great!

Jessica told Reg, “I have Sidra and Elizabeth just outside the room, Reg. Can they come in and welcome you back, or are you too tired?”

Reg assented to that request. “Sure. I can manage. Send them in, and they can tell me what they have been up to.”

He heard a pair of squeals as he said that, and Sidra rushed to his left side, Elizabeth taking the other side.

Sidra was clearly in charge of Elizabeth, and announced, “Reg, take a good look at Elizabeth: she has lost several pounds already!”

Elizabeth stood erect again, proudly, to show her marginally reduced body shape to Reg. He examined her with care, allowing a feigned look of surprise to cross his face.

“I do believe I can see the difference! Elizabeth, you are no longer a ‘Fat Betty’; you are going to become a ‘Slim Elizabeth’ by the time you have finished. Is this all your own doing, or has Sidra had a hand in your success?”

Elizabeth rushed in with, “Sidra has been a great help! It has been nice to have a friend to help me, and she is so clever, she is. She is my bestest friend!”

Sidra grinned her pleasure at this praise, for she had indeed worked Elizabeth hard, forcing her to trudge up and down the stairs of the building several times a day, and also monitoring Elizabeth’s calorie intake to prevent her replacing much of the expended energy.

She added to Reg’s information, saying, “I am planning to have Elizabeth take up jogging, and we can go for runs in the local park together, Reg.”

“Good thinking, Sidra. You will be able to tone up your muscles while Elizabeth sheds the pounds.”

Reg ended the display and the praise by saying, “You girls had best remove your lovely bodies from my sight for now. I don’t want to have a relapse by such visions prancing before me.”

Elizabeth was almost ecstatic at such a compliment. Sidra recognised that Reg was bolstering Elizabeth’s self-image, and went along with it.

“C’mon, Elizabeth, it’s back to the books, or do I get you to do another trek up to the top floor and back?”

Elizabeth glowered at Sidra, then announced defiantly, “I want to try another trek, Sidra, but you must come with me!”

Caught by her own demand, Sidra agreed. “All right, Elizabeth. Once more up and down the staircase it is.”

Reg and Jessica grinned at the interplay between the two teenagers. Reg was just happy to see the change in Elizabeth’s outlook on the world, and Jessica was pleased that her daughter had a new friend around her own age to mentor. The pair were both benefiting from the experience.

He now had more interesting matters to engage with: his wives!

They would not be home until they were free at the end of the day at the university, so he spoke to the twins and discussed lunch. Between them they agreed on a Spanish omelette and their special deep fried chips, to prove that they could still feed him well, after his spell of consuming uninspiring hospital food. He admitted that he was feeling hungry despite not using much energy.

Reg thoroughly enjoyed his lunch meal, and told the twins so, bringing smiles to their faces, and more kisses to his face. He was becoming used to this level of deprivation in the absence of his wives. Jessica shoo-ed off the twins, warning them that Reg did not need too much excitement at the moment.

“Remember Reg’s wound, girls. He mustn’t stretch it too much, so take care please. If Sidra and Elizabeth see you energetically kissing Reg, they will want to join in, and who knows what will happen then to his wound?”

They were persuaded to desist, and stupidly Reg sat back after his filling meal without thinking what he was doing. His wound objected strongly, and he gasped, before asking Jessica if she could add a couple more cushions or pillows to support his back, very gently; and could he have an extra painkiller?

Jessica pointed out, “You were mostly on your front previously, Reg so your back is not prepared for such flexing. You might be better sitting right up against the dining table with your elbows on the table, and that way your back should stay erect, but we can have some cushions behind you for gentle support in case you happen to lean back. You would be safer that way. You can have one pill for the pain, but no more; you mustn’t overdose with these drugs.”

Reg reluctantly agreed, so they made that arrangement and he sat comfortably once more. He found he could read a book perched in front of him, and could probably watch a TV at the other end of the table, though he seldom watched TV. Jessica fetched a book he asked for, on structural mechanics. He was now at the chapter on mass structures.

He was aware that mass structures were defined as any structure that is composed primarily of one specific material filling the entire volume of the building, or certainly most of the structure, but what were examples of this? His book chapter pointed out that a mountain is a mass structure, but so is a sandcastle, or a brick wall, as these all fit the definition. Mass structures were often employed where you want to use a readily available, low-cost material such as stone or brick, clay and sand, with possibly a more expensive facing made of a tougher version of the material, such as fired clay as opposed to sun-baked clay, or use of a rarer material such as marble or granite as a showpiece exterior.

The building material thus could be almost anything, as long as it was consistent. There were even a pair of pyramids set up in Park Avenue, New York after World War 1, made up of 12,000 German helmets each, which still fitted the definition of a mass structure.

What construction material you use depends on the function of the structure. For example, for a building like a pyramid, good quality stone blocks are much better than sun-baked brick or even fired brick, though much of the interior of the stonework could be filled with stone rubble, after you had prepared stone-lined tunnels and chambers for specific purposes.

To avoid a possible collapse of a mass structure through overloading, tapering can be used to reduce the pressure of the upper layers on the lower ones, as the total pressure is increased by every layer of material added. If the pressure from above exceeds the shear strength of the lower blocks, the blocks will crack; perhaps fracture dangerously and cause a building collapse. Tapering the building makes a large mass structure more stable if it is designed in a pyramid shape rather than a cube.

The same pressure problem applies to the base pressing against the foundation which spreads the load. Thus, the base needs to lie on a good solid and level foundation, preferably a good robust rock layer, or the base will eventually start to give way, leading to an overall collapse of the building.

Tapering is commonly found with dry stone walls used as field and property boundaries. The wallers usually erect a pair of wooden frames, called batter frames, for each end of the first stretch of wall, the frame indicating the batter, or inward slope, involved. Such battered walls are very strong, and can last for a century with little maintenance, if not damaged by livestock rubbing against the wall or trying to get over it. Most are high enough to prevent livestock seeing over the top, so this deters them from trying to clamber over. Even when damaged, a dry stone wall is easily rebuilt by anyone with the basic knowledge of drywalling techniques.

Expert dry stone wallers position stones strategically to improve the wall’s strength. A good wall has two faces angled slightly down towards the middle, and at intervals a long stone is laid to run all the way to the other side. This ‘through-bond’ ties the two faces together, enhancing the wall’s resistance to damage from impacts.

Consideration of mass structures leads inevitably to the topic of huge buildings and other civil or religious edifices built by ancient civilisations many hundreds or even thousands of years ago; structures such as the Egyptian pyramids, Sumerian ziggurats, and Khmer temples with their massive pointed towers at the corners. Probably the most intensive construction programme of pyramid-type structures was by several successive Mezo-American civilizations – Olmecs, Mayan, Aztecs and an unnamed vanished civilization that built the original Teotihuacan city before the Aztecs took it over.

Not all were completely solid structures. So-called burial chambers were built into Egyptian pyramids during construction, and despite the presence of the occasional stone coffer, Tutankhamun was the only instance of a provable example of a burial. Most real burials of mummies were found in rock-hewn tombs for lesser nobility and senior officials. As many royal mummies were later found stashed away in communal rock chambers, there is a suspicion that these were removed from the original pyramid to protect them from grave robbers, though what value to grave robbers a mummy would be is unclear, for their interest was in saleable goods, and there was seldom a used sarcophagus found within the pyramid.

Other structures elsewhere were clearly built to provide temples to the gods, often having a small temple at the peak, to be used by the priests for ritual worship. One or two examples have been found in Mexico of a temple underground, below the pyramidal structure, and all excavations below Mexican pyramids have revealed buried human sacrificial offerings to the gods. Thus all the indications are that such structures were designed and built to make offerings to the gods.

A few sideways thinkers have suggested that pyramids round the world were built to provide landing sites for UFOs. One major objection to that idea is the lack of a landing surface on top of most pyramids. The Egyptian ones ended in a pointed top, known as the pyramidion; the Khmer structures similarly are pointed, and most South American structures had small temples at the highest point, where sacrifices to their named gods were performed. None have any suitable landing spot for an aerial vehicle of any size. Most pyramidal structures with levelled tops are in an eroded condition, so that there is no surviving evidence of the original completed shape, or whether a wooden temple stood on top, thus there can be no presumption as to the shape of the peak when originally constructed.

Another objection to any supposed world-wide phenomenon is the wide range of dates of construction of pyramids around the globe. If they were part of a world-wide plan of landing sites, one would expect them to all be of a similar date; but this is not what we find. The dates can vary by thousands of years, implying only local decision-making.

The structures are clearly geared up to a religious or sometimes funerary function, or both. One large earth and clay-built pyramid in China is erected over the tomb of First Emperor Qin. China seems to have built a tomb for its imperious leader, then constructed an earthen hill above it. When first built, such earthen structures would be too soft to sustain the landing of a vehicle of any size, though over the intervening centuries, the soil would have eventually become compacted, despite some erosion. No-one makes plans for an intended use many generations later. Many of these artificial hills are anyway completely covered in vegetation such as trees, and some in China have been utilised by peasants to grow crops, with their former purpose forgotten.

Thus the more solid structures appear to have had only a religious/funerary purpose, linking the people with their heavenly gods. There is no sensible reason for alien spacecraft to choose to land precariously on a man-made pyramid peak when there were plenty of broad level surfaces for them to choose to land on, both in the plains and on high plateaus. A simple low platform like the base layer of a large pyramid would suffice, if a landing platform was what was desired. Making a pyramid shape makes no sense as a landing platform.

In Sumerian society, the ziggurats started out as simple bases for a temple to stand on, then later the bases were constructed to be higher and higher, with inscriptions inscribing them as the link between earth and heaven. This concept is what is written about in the biblical description of the Tower of Babel [i.e. Babylon]: a tower reaching to heaven. In more practical terms, a high ziggurat meant it would not be affected by local flooding, and incidentally made it easily defensible.

The ziggurat was part of a temple complex. Its general appearance was a stepped construction with a core of sun-baked brick and a facing of fired bricks, often multicoloured, tapering to a flat surface for the temple to sit on. The temple itself was for the priests to perform their religious ceremonies to the god of the city, for each ziggurat was intended for worship of a single local god, as inscriptions attest.

Why would a people want to build tall structures for worship of a god? What would be their motivation? Mostly, we have no written evidence, but there are clues. If one looks at the early stories in the Hebrew Bible, we find a consistent pattern of going up to a high place to worship God. Moses went up to the Mountain of God to commune with his God, named as Yahweh (in Hebrew YHWH), from where the more recent word Jehovah derives.

Mount Horeb was named in the Bible as the sacred mountain, and a mountain in Sinai was also mentioned as a campsite of the escaping Israelites, but they may not be the same mountain. Mount Sinai has been suggested as the Mountain of God, but there is absolutely no evidence to back this claim, only rumour. Its identification was given as a suggestion to the Roman Empress Helena (mother of Constantine the Great) who quickly accepted the offered idea and had the first monastery constructed there. It has no basis other than hearsay and the name Sinai, and the Bedouin name of Jebel Musa (Mount Moses). It does not even fit the description by Josephus as the highest mountain on Sinai, and earlier Christian tradition claimed the correct holy mountain was Mount Serbal, which is a more reasonable suggestion, as it is near a wadi for access to water.

There are Biblical descriptions of the holy mountain that point to it being a volcanic peak, yet there are no volcanoes in the Sinai peninsula, though there are many in the Arabian peninsula.

Be that as it may, God was seen as: to be found atop a mountain, and the Israelites never built an artificial mountain, preferring to use the real thing. The missing Ark of the Covenant is described as being hidden on Mount Nebo, again emphasising the sacredness of many mountains.

A mountain is indeed a mass structure, for structures need not be man-made, but religious or UFO theories do not fit well with the subject of structural mechanics, so we shall dispense with such notions from here on.

Reg found himself chuckling at the author for discussing religious and UFO connections with such structures, then saying he would not discuss them!

Shortly after completing his reading of this chapter, the front door opened as his wives arrived home. He could hear them demanding whether there was any news of Reg, and Jessica inviting them to visit the dining room.

Bracing himself for the deluge, Reg was ready to deter them from violent hugs, but Jessica had warned them in advance of coming in, so they entered and came to kiss his lips, each in a gentle and loving fashion, welcoming him home again.

Frances introduced the primary topic for discussion.

“Reg, we all want to know when you can have sex again, and are there any restrictions on that exercise?”

Reg gave them the facts, straight. “I am not allowed to have sex for another week, assuming I get medically approved by then for that aspect of married life. I have the appointment for the check-up, assuming there are no adverse symptoms in the meantime.”

There was voluble dismay at this revelation, but Reg insisted, “It is not my choice, girls, but surely you don’t want me ripping open the wound by too strenuous lovemaking?”

Frances spoke for them all. “We understand, darling, but you will appreciate that our libidos object strongly to the delay! We will survive another week, and instead reflect on our hero husband recovering from the calamitous event.”

Reg changed the subject.

“Now that you are all home, are we any further on with this idea of forming a limited company?”

The other girls again looked to Frances to respond, and she admitted, “We have made application for registration and paid the fee, so we should be able to set up our company organisation now. Do you want to discuss it in detail, or do you want to leave it to us?”

“In this case, girls, you probably know a lot more than I do about limited companies, so please go ahead without me; just tell me where to sign documents as CEO, and I’ll be happy.”

Frances grinned at him. “Reg, this must be the first time you have not told us about technicalities or obscure facts that you thought we ought to be aware of.”

Her husband replied wearily, “Well, when you don’t know the facts, it is best to admit it, and with this subject, I don’t know the facts, so I am excused boots today.”

“You have done it again, Reg! Used an obscure phrase that we don’t understand. What does it mean: excused boots?”

“Pretty much what it says, Frances. Its origin is in the British Army, where a soldier with a foot ailment was authorised by the medical officer to be ‘excused boots’, and was allowed to go on parade with soft shoes rather than his issued army boots. Today, it has been generalised into being allowed to avoid something that otherwise would be mandatory.”

“I see. A useful phrase for the future, I think. So what do we do with you, instead? Oh, I know: Elizabeth.”

“What about Elizabeth?”

“She turns out to be much as Sidra was: cleverer than she believed she was. Her obesity made everyone think that she was stupid, academically. You don’t expect someone who acts as she did – first overeating, then trying to commit suicide - to actually be clever. She, her teachers, and other pupils all made that assumption long ago, but as she talked with Sidra and they together went over some of the books Sidra has been working through, she found that she could follow much of the content. Sidra quickly latched on to that fact and tried her with a wider range of reading. She concluded that Elizabeth is emotionally backward, but educationally open to speeding up her learning. I think that discovering the vicissitudes that Sidra had gone through was enough to spur Elizabeth to want to achieve her own potential. You must have a chat with these two some time soon to see what I mean: it is encouraging to the soul to watch Elizabeth blossom.

She is also determined to cut her weight right back, but I have warned her not to do so too fast, or her stretched skin will sag. She has to do it slowly and steadily, so Sidra is now her trainer, making sure she has a properly balanced diet, and a weight-reducing physical regime that is not too strenuous. I overheard her say to Elizabeth that while sex is regarded as a great exercise regime, she could not allow anything like that until Elizabeth had cut her weight in half. I wondered what Sidra was thinking about sex for Elizabeth: the mind boggles!”

Reg’s eyes were wide when he heard this. “Elizabeth is too young to be considering sex, and in particular merely as a physical exercise for weight reduction! We must keep her away from boys when she gets to that stage, Frances.”

“It depends on what you mean by ‘boys’, Reg. I suspect Sidra was looking at you in her mind as she told this to Elizabeth.”

“Oh. Oh, dear. Perhaps I’ll have a word with Jessica, to get Sidra to stop making such outrageous suggestions to Elizabeth.”

“Suit yourself. Elizabeth hardly needs pushing in that direction,” Frances commented. “You were her hero from the day we met her, and now that you are a public hero, your reputation with her has been further enhanced. At least she will not put any moves on you until she thinks her body has reached an appropriate shape to attract your undivided attention.”

“Oh, God, I hope not,” sighed Reg. “Life used to be simple, and all my wives have great body shapes.”

“Not simple now, my darling man. You have a reputation to live up to: Hero, Married man, Father to be, Great lover, Injured warrior, Academic intellectual, Treasure hunter extraordinaire, Family patriarch ... need I go on?”

“Damn it, Frances, stop teasing!”

She laughed at her husband. “Just getting you distracted from your injury, Reg. You haven’t noticed it for a while, have you?”

He ceased his ranting, to admit wonderingly, “It’s true. I had forgotten about it for a while there. That is not a reason, though, for you to continue with your antics, my dear wife.”

“I’ll stop for a while, then. When you start moaning about your wound, though...”

Reg sighed theatrically once more, then demanded, “Give me a kiss, you terrible woman.”

Frances was happy to give him what he wanted and needed.

Later, over dinner, when his wives asked what it was like being treated in Scarborough General Hospital before he was moved to the local establishment, he could only refer them to Jessica, who had been there, saying, “Much of my time from arriving in the ambulance was spent comatose in bed. That was the best way they could ensure that I didn’t move about and disturb the wound for a day or two.”

Freda laughed at this picture. “Our husband as the Sleeping Beauty: a weird concept.”