Chapter 2

So, Curse old pal; Seems there exists magic in this world. We need protections! What say we try to find someone attractive and knowledgeable in the ways of wards and protective amulets and rings? I pondered.

Being wealthy and at loose ends, I had relinquished my apartment, a very interesting Man would be one who traveled around learning skills and cutting edge latest discoveries, not one who had an address. I got a P.O. box for a forwarding address, and had my lovely lawyer Bess send an intern over to check it once a week. It gave me an excuse to hear her sexy voice when I called to check in.

I was enjoying myself, but not doing too much relaxing. This was no vacation, I had a job to do. Nothing to say that I couldn’t enjoy myself and have fun, but I couldn’t indulge myself and read books for hours on end, or go on a drinking binge. Drunks are only amusing from a distance, and for a very short time. Nothing is more boring than someone passed out drunk unless it is watching a Methuselah tree grow. And the tree would be interesting for longer.

So far, I had learned and pursued lots of extreme sports such as sky-diving, bungee jumping, base jumping, wing-suit flying and many other dangerous activities which no longer threatened to end my now immortal existence. Not fearing death is quite a liberating feeling! I was in Finland currently, to participate in the original Polar Bear plunge, and also to experience a genuine Finnish sauna.

I made it a point to spend a short while learning to speak the language of each new country I visited, in between finding fun and interesting and educational opportunities. I learned to read and write the local lingo also, and took various classes that interested me. (or had various professors and doctors come on to me, eager to find a worthy excuse for us to spend time together.) My teachers were all sexy, at least to me, and top women in their respective fields. They all seemed attracted to me also, in a non-possessive way.

While nude in the Finnish sauna I was approached by a remarkable young lady, who was quite striking and becoming in spite of looking like she grew up on a heavy gravity planet. She spoke an almost archaic version of Finnish, which I quickly adapted to, as she explained that she was meant to protect me. Although she was several feet shorter than I, I felt she could probably do just that as she also outmassed me by a quarter, and in her present attire (nothing) I could see that none of it was fat, except perhaps her proportional breasts.

I had a brief feeling that if she told me ‘come with me if you want to live’ I would have willingly gone with her, immortality or not. Even the immortal need protection, especially from magic, and I had already had this conversation with Curse.

Wendy (an unlikely seeming name for a Jotunnheim Dwarf, I thought) was on a self-imposed mission to festoon me with protective trinkets and doohickeys. I don’t usually wear jewelry, however her workings would protect me against additional curses, as well as averting the evil eye, preventing possession and thwarting all hex- so I found myself following her very solid ass as she led me off into the snowy mountains and deep down into the mythical smithing caverns of ancient yore, where she crafted for me several pieces which belied their power by looking simple and speaking of quiet class.

I also learned (in self defense) more than I ever knew there was to learn, about wrestling. I was totally wrung out by the end of my stay, although we had both enjoyed each other very much. Wrestling with Wendy was like wrestling a greased giant anaconda.

Curse and I started a fitness and self-defense program together, immortality won’t keep you from getting punched in the face, it will just keep it from killing you. It won’t keep you from freezing your balls off either, as I found out during the Polar Bear plunge.

It took at least 40 minutes in the sauna afterward for my nuts to descend again. I had to request that I not be birched. (The wacky Finnish smack each other’s backs with bouquets of branches in their dry heat saunas.)

Next, I headed on East to the lands wherein originated the arts of unarmed fighting, -armed also but that could wait until another time. I had no problem learning the local lingo of where ever I found myself, nor attracting the help of top female practitioners to tutor and train me, along with other more amorous endeavors. They practically handed me off from one to the next, since I guess there existed a girl-fighters network or something.

I especially enjoyed my sojourn amongst the shadow-arts girls. I never saw their faces, but they were nevertheless a playful and fun-loving group of teasers. I learned a lot about misdirection, silence, and just blending in, (not standing out, is how you do that!) as well as a few sneaky type attacks I hadn’t seen before.

After a period of intense training and learning of various fighting arts, I had a hard time finding anyone female and attractive to teach me anything new. (And it wasn’t as if I had picky standards.) So I trained myself with the help of Curse’s critique and refined and perfected my skills.

In a self-assigned final test, I trawled through the rough parts of a few rough places, and snagged a netfull of sparing fodder. Surviving against multiple armed attackers convinced me of my abilities in unarmed self-defense.