Chapter 63

The next morning, after working out and coming back to take a shower, I looked at our list of cities we’d gone to so far and determined that we have been to 30% of the total cities, and we’re about eight months into our 24-month long Tour so far, which ... matches up. We’re less than two months from Kalista’s 12^th birthday.

Our second Anaheim performance was as electric as the first, then we had a day off, then Fullerton for a single, the next day was our ‘Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon Debut’ taping in Burbank for us. We’d decided to do ‘Cell Block Tango’ which would come on before Jimmy’s Monologue, which I wasn’t aware he ever did.

During the taping, ventriloquist Jeff Dunham had us all in stitches, with Walter leering at my Dance partners, not getting obscene but dirtier then I felt appropriate.

We then did our ‘Music of the Night/Phantom of the Opera’ double routine, as Jimmy came up to us, thanking us for being so good and saying goodnight.

After the crowd was hustled out, we got our money. I went to Mr. Fallon and thanked him, giving the money back saying, “If you ever want us back, no comics or anyone who will insult either my wife or her sister. It’s a personal matter, and I won’t put up with that kind of personal attack again.”

I turned and walked out with my ladies.

Later that night, we all decided to stay up and watch the show.

After he came out, instead of his monologue, he said, “Ladies and gentlemen, earlier this evening at our taping, Charles of Charles & Claire, scolded me. Not during the taping, mind you, but after, when we were alone. I want to publicly apologize to his entire entourage and will welcome him back any time he wants. This young man knows that what is said about you is believed about you, so our show tonight will be only Charles & Claire, both what they taped for tonight, and copies of the routines they have done that we found on YouTube.”

We watched and they’d gotten our early ‘Marry You’ along with the ‘Rainbow Connection’ incident. Some of the other moments I’d forgotten. He still ended with our double routine; after which he had Jeff come out and publicly apologize to us as well, actually Walter did it. The show was over, and all of our phones started to ring.

First thing the next morning, I got a call from Sarah, to come to their room.

When we got there, Craig Ferguson himself was in the room, along with Annie, Sarah and Kalista, who came over to Claire and I after we entered.

Putting his hand out, Mr. Ferguson said, “Charles, that was ... interesting what happened to you yesterday. I have a deal myself; you and all of these lovely ladies are invited as my only guests? We’ll talk and let you three dance, all night if you’d like.”

“Mr. Ferguson,” Sarah said, “I have watched your show before and you have always my favorite of all of them.”

“Beautiful and smart as a whip, as well,” he remarked.

“However?” Sarah said.

“Oops, there’s a however?” Craig said.

“I have heard you swear on the show can you keep a civil tongue in your mouth –- don’t say it, think it, but don’t say it,” Sarah said with a big smile.

Turning to me, Mr. Ferguson asked, “Is she seeing anyone, I may ask her to marry me?”

That cracked up everyone as he got on his knees, knee walking over to Sarah as he said, “I won’t say a goddam thing all night, for you dear lady, are you taken?”

Annie strode from where she’d been through all of this nonsense and took Sarah by her hand.

“Oh, goodie, two of them – What time do you two need to be back in Heaven? Great legs. What time do they open? Are those real? Hi, I have big feet. Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow morning, should I call you ... or nudge you? I think you just stole something ... my heart. My bedroom is soundproof? If I followed you home, would you keep me?”

“CRAIG, these ladies play for the other team, which also cannot be discussed. If I’d tried any of those cheesy lines, I’d be slapped so hard, it’d be tomorrow when I woke up,” I said.

He got up and said, “I’ll do the jokes lad, and you do the dancin’?”

“Sarah, do we have an available night to give this crazy man? What time do you tape, Craig?” I asked.

“Same time as Jimmy does. Do you really get to be around these four ... foxes all of the time?”

“Yes, I do – Sarah?” I asked.

“Between Buena Park and Norwalk, we have an extra day.”

“Oh, the jokes I could make from that sentence alone,” Craig remarked, causing my group to chuckle.

“It seems we’re available, how much?”

“How much for what, Charles?”

“For us to be there for your little show,” I said, getting really close to him.

“Nothing about me, or the show is little, young man,” he said, looking back over at the ladies. “How about $5,000 for the lot of you?”

“Nice opening salvo; how about this, you write a check for $30,000 and put it in an envelope. If our appearance doesn’t double the usual rating, you keep it. If it does, we get it, OK? You still need to include us in upcoming commercials for that night, what night is that, Sarah?”

“The 21^st, Charles,” she said.

“Oh, and if a single off-color word comes out of your mouth, during the taping, that doubles the money to $60,000, all right?”

“Define Off-Color, please?” he asked, without a beat.

“Any of George Carlin’s Seven Deadly Words, or their derivatives. Is that clear enough for you, Craig?” I said.

“Sure thing, Charles,” he said leaving. “Oh, I’ll have a limo here at five pm on the 21^st. Ladies, the evening will be clothes optional.”

And he was gone! I think he is funnier than Fallon, or Kimmel!

The added performance to Anaheim was amazing, with Dan upping his game with the crowd before we started, and the girls had a week under their belt of doing these new, complicated routines with each other as well as with me.

After the ‘Cell Block Tango,’ which was clearly the crowd favorite, I enjoyed the beautiful ‘Who Will Buy’ music all five of us danced to. And getting to dance with my Princess to the BEAUTY AND THE BEAST opening number called ‘Belle,’ made me feel eight feet tall, as Gaston to her Belle.

That music gives me such a thrill; watching her from offstage, perform the part of Belle, to all of the characters strewn thru this number. Her facial reactions were straight from a Broadway production. Her legs are wonderful as she flits from dance move to dance move.

I am constantly worried that my entrance as Gaston brings the number down in quality, but they all tell me that I am excellent in my tight pants and canvass shoes. However, every night the number goes well, as we all leave the stage for a quick change as Dan tells the audience some sort of ‘behind the scenes’ tale as we prepare for the Act Final of ‘Music of the Night, and Phantom of the Opera.

Three days later we all get picked up by Craig’s Limo, taking us all to the LATE LATE studio. He stayed true to his promise, actually asking about the fathers who appeared to be missing in our lives.

Both Annie and Sarah were in tears explaining how their lives were first enjoyable, until their distinctly unique variations of married life caused them to be in their current state.

They both mentioned how much Claire and I’d brought their lives in focus. To change the mood, we heard the Phantom music start and Kalista and her father-to-be got up and started to dance, first in front of everyone in chairs, then I threw K, who first landed and ran en pointe to where we did the rest of the routine, to Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman’s magnificent voices.

His live audience appreciated us, standing, applauding, and crying. As the crowd got quiet, K and I went back to sit down. I saw that Craig was moved by that musical number, barely able to say, “We’ll be right back,” as we broke for commercials, to be inserted later by the local cable companies.

“Charles, can I say to you that you are the most talented persons to ever appear on this show, including me. I must insist that you five take the money, because it doesn’t feel right to me, to not pay you what you are worth as entertainers and just regular folk.”

That got Sarah up and into his lap she crawled, as the next portion of the show came on. Sarah gave him a kiss as he ad-libbed, “I’d like to thank the Academy for this beautiful statue in my lap - it’s time to replace my blow=up dolls. Next, you are in for a treat, and maybe so am I ... as Kalista and Claire, perform this one of a kind dance to the ‘Cell Block Tango’ from the Tony Award Winning Broadway Musical - CHICAGO,” he went for her neck, producing an over the top gasp from Sarah.

The girls did this number better than they had previously to this point, high kicking and plié-ing all over the stage. After it was over, Craig got up and went to in-between the two girls and said, “I am taking these two statues home with me as well, Goodnight.”

His producer said, “We have only got thirty-five minutes of show, Craig.”

He pulled the envelope out of his back pocket and said to us, “Find some of their routines on the internet, Brian. These wee performers ... are done.”

We each got a handshake or more from this marvelous man, who sincerely cares about others. I am not sure if that can be said about any other current TV talk show host.

After the blast of a good time on Craig Ferguson, we went on to Norwalk, Compton, Inglewood, and Hawthorne. We followed that up with 2 in Manhattan Beach, Torrance, Carson, and Long Beach for 2. Our next base was Pasadena.

Our next California leg went as follows; Pasadena for 3, Rancho Cucamonga, Hesperia, Victorville, Rialto, and San Bernardino. Next was, Fontana for 2, Ontario, Chino, West Covina, El Monte and Alhambra. In Los Angeles proper, we were a little shell-shocked.

Our three performances in LA were - in order; Dodger Stadium, holding 56,000; The Rose Bowl, 97,014; and the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, officially 93,607 – Holy Shit?

Before checking in at our hotel, Sarah called the contact numbers and set up a walkthrough at each of these venues.

At each place, our contact told us that we were sold out. All told, we had a guaranteed 246,621 people who have paid to see us dance.

Sarah called Dan to tell him the news, I heard him yell through the phone.

Professional sports stadiums – we’re playing at professional sports stadiums! At $50 a seat, that’s over $12 million for our Cask. Unfortunately, the IRS gets somewhere about 45% of that as well.

Annie drove us to the Ritz Carlton, less than two miles from the Coliseum. This was one of the finer places we have ever stayed at. We got into our suites, all on the same floor. I called for a Cask meeting. Claire welcomed them as we sat in a circle on the bed as is usual.

“Sarah, did you know where we were performing, and didn’t tell us?”

“Charles honey, I have grown to love that look on your face when we get somewhere you weren’t expecting. Your Mother and I have been holding on to this secret for a very long time. Will you forgive us, please?” The looks on their faces were absolutely brilliant. Very coquettish, but a little bit of larceny as well.

“I can’t be upset over $12 million dollars,” I said.

“And the Poster sales, and the T-shirt sales, too,” mom said.

“That’s exactly what I wanted to bring up, our final poster sales, before the new posters started. You guys in the mood?”

“For ... what exactly?” Sarah said with a wink.

“I am tired,” Claire said. “Can this wait a day? These past three weeks of performances are all one big blur, and I’d like some nap time with my hubby.”

“So woul...” Sarah started to say, but Mom covered her mouth with her own, as they were kissing without regard to us. I saw Sarah’s hands on the move, as I said, “Ladies – take it to your room, please – there are minors here.”

Separating from one another Annie said, “You may be only just seventeen, but there’s nothing minor about you, Charles.”

They got up and left, laughing.

Kallie got up and was moving slowly towards the door, as Claire said, “Would you like to nap with us, Kalista?”

She stripped down to her t-shirt and panties before my eyes were focused. Claire got up giggling and got in the same sleepwear as K had, but she removed her bra. K performed the same ritual, as I was getting down to my boxers. We all crawled in together, with Claire in back, K in front.

I felt free floating bosom on my front and back as I fell asleep. I woke up with a hand around my firmness, hoping it was Claire.

I turned to see Kalista’s face as she whispered, “Daddy, you are so big, did it hurt Claire when you first made love?”

Whispering back, I said, “She said it was uncomfortable for a little bit, but she got used to it, you will too, eventually.” Ugh. Did that come out of my mouth sounding as bad as I’d just heard it?

“Ooh, when is it going to be my turn, Daddy?” she said, squeezing me very hard.

“Kalista, let go of Charles – now,” I heard my wife’s voice say, “If you ever get a ‘turn’ at Charles, I better be buried six feet deep, and you should be, at least 14 years old ... you hear me, young lady?”

“Yeah, I do. Sorry Charles, it rubbed up against me, and I wanted to feel it. Sorry Claire, it won’t happen again, unless you both approve of it happening. I’ll never give myself to anyone ... unless it’s Charles,” she said, getting out of the bed and putting enough of her clothes back on and she left.

“Claire, you could have handled that with a bit more delicateness?” I said.

“She had her hand around your very hard erection, and I was supposed to say what, ‘Nice stroking dear, Charles may just cum any second now.’”

“I see – you are right, I just hate to see her in distress. Do you see a time in the future it could happen?”

“Oh, Charles – she’s got you so wrapped around her fingers...”

“Actually, she couldn’t get her hand all of the way around it, Claire,” I flippantly said.

I felt a firm grasp as she pulled over her panties and dropped on my erection, filling her and putting out a moan. She went straight into very fast up and downs, as we kissed each other. When we separated our kiss, I took my hands and placed them on her breasts, all the while she was fiercely experiencing orgasm after orgasm, doing what she was doing.

With hardly a word between us, I started to cum inside my wife; I felt as least six spurts as she stopped and lay down on me - our naked sweaty chests making contact.

We kissed and kissed, and I felt myself getting hard again. She felt it and smiled at me saying, “I suppose that first one was for Kalista? Now I get mine.”

She pulled off of me, grabbing me with her hand and licked me clean of both of our juices. I took my re-hardening dick and rolled over on her, re-inserting myself as I started pounding her in silence, just looking down on her shaking bosom. She had her hands on my head keeping my head down as we kissed and fucked each other. Ohmigod, she is so hot, and what a lover.

I was remembering back to my time with Sarah and Annie, but this young lady has an energy behind her eyes that compels me to lust for her 24 hours a day.

“Oh, Charles, giveittome Charles – yeah, baby, all of it – all of it, give me all of it, Oh. I am cumming again. How close are you Charles?”

“Any – second – noowwwww, Aaauuuuggggghhhhh; that’s a lot, I have given you a lot, I have filled you up all of the way. You are such a doll.” I kept going for a minute, trying to drive it all in deeper. I had to stop. I pulled out and rolled on my back.

As the ladies knocked, and came in our room, we separated and pulled up the covers, hoping that K hadn’t seen anything damaging.

After going to eat, we came back, changed and gathered around, ready to share our posters sales, and also have our first Shirt Sales Report. I noticed that all four of the ladies were wearing one of our t-shirts, with only panties under it. Even K.