Chapter 42

We all laughed for the next hundred miles or so as we headed towards our,

31st City
Salt Lake City
One Night
SLC Marriott City Center

We arrived in Salt Lake City about three am. Sarah had gotten us a large suite with two queens and a rollaway. We’re performing at the Salt Palace the day after tomorrow. We were emotionally drained from the last six hours of things happening, so Kalista got in the rollaway, provided I give her a goodnight kiss, which I did, and I crawled into bed with my fiancée, making out for a while.

In the other bed, I heard sounds of love as well, although we both heard the occasional ‘Stop that’ coming from under the blankets. I can only guess that Mom was getting her official ‘Welcome back’ from Sarah. I turned to my right and Claire shuffled in really close and put her hand across my stomach.

“I love you, Charles,” I heard her say.

“Not as much as I love you Claire. Goodnight Lovergirl.”

I heard a cute giggle from her as her beasts pushed up against my back, feeling nice.

The next morning, we all slept in later than usual, from getting to bed so late. I felt a presence hovering over me, so I woke up and saw Mom smiling a great big smile at me. She saw Claire’s arm around me and Claire cuddled up right behind me and Mom whispered with a devilish smile on her face, “Any trouble since this started, honey?”

“No Mom, with her behind me all is well, I turned to face her the first morning we did this and I quickly got my ‘problem,’ so as long as I can stay on my right side, the twins from the car will stay a figment of her imagination, although the twins against my back are another thing. Can I go back to sleep now, I was having a great dream where you crawled into bed with me and we...”

“Don’t you even think of finishing that sentence, young man? Even a dream can cause trouble, if you will remember?”

“Yeah, oopsy—goodnight, sweet Antoinette.”

When we woke up to start our day, it was noon so we all took showers and changed to go to lunch in the hotel dining room.

I noticed they had a Whirlpool Spa next to the swimming pool, so after lunch, we all went down to it and enjoyed the luxury.

“So, Claire—Do you think you are through ‘maturing’ or are you still ‘growing strong?” I asked with a satisfying smile.

“Charles, as bad as your humor has gotten, I believe I’m as ‘mature’ as I will get, until I get pregnant, when I suppose they will get as big as Moms, if not bigger. I do hope to get a little taller, I saw some stretching exercises to grow taller.”

Sarah replied, “Honey, careful what you ask for—if I’d been your size before all of my pregnancies, I could be an H or J-cup by now and I’d need a forklift to walk around.”

That image caused all of us to laugh a bit.

Kalista offered, “I sure hope I haven’t stopped ‘maturing’ Charles? I want to get at least as tall as Claire and get D cups.”

This caused all of the ladies to giggle a little.

“Mom. how is everybody back in Columbus and Springfield?” I asked.

“They can’t wait for your wedding guys. Besides the sadness of Mom and Dad’s death and funeral, your wedding was ‘The Topic’ all of the time. I touched base with Ken and Sarah Jane as well, letting them know the details of the event, which they’re passing around on the McArthur side of things. I emailed Jimmy Bradshaw and the Fleming Family as well. It’s a good thing we will have the stadium to put them all in. There will be a massive bunch of Newman’s and McArthurs and their friends and families, upwards of sixty, possibly more!”

Claire moved from sitting next to me to sitting on my lap. We gave each other a kiss and she quietly said to me, “Can’t wait until October 15th next year.”

“You better,” said both Annie and Sarah, practically at the same time.

We heard a person yelling, “Sarah Rollins, delivery for Sarah Rollins!”

Sarah got up and motioned the young man to come over to us. She had on a dark blue micro bikini, causing the young man to fidget a little as he asked her to sign for the envelope. They exchanged courteous thank you’s as he left and she sat back down.

“It’s the tickets, for us to proof,” Sarah said, sounding excited. She handed each of us a ticket to look at as she sat back down.

I immediately noticed we forgot to put on the ticket the message concerning giving to charity.

“Oopsy,” I said, getting Mom’s attention.

“What Charles?” she replied.

“We didn’t get on the message ‘In lieu of presents,’ will that be a problem?” I asked.

“Typically, people expect to bring a gift to a wedding, unless specified otherwise, honey,” mom said.

“I think they are very pretty,” Special K said. “Just like the Golden Ticket from the movie.”

“If we don’t put it back on, you could end with three thousand toaster ovens, five thousand blenders, and ten thousand microwave ovens, Charles,” Sarah said.

Everybody chuckled loudly at that.

“Everything else looks good, don’t you think?” I asked.

“Everybody’s name spelled correctly?” Annie asked around.

We all poured carefully over the ticket and each of us said “OK” or something near it, to express approval. The map on the back, in full color, looked great.

“When we get back to the room, Sarah and I can add back the missing sentence. Claire, may I give your mother a kiss and a hug for taking care of the tickets so well?”

I saw Claire biting her lip a little, but breaking into a big smile, as she said, “OK, but be gentle, you don’t want to make your mother too jealous, Loverboy?”

I got up and went to Sarah, who had her arms extended waiting for me. We hugged and gave each other a nice kiss.

“Charles, there are some things you never explained to me, some things, that go way back,” Kalista stated looking through her phone. Good girl, she had written it down.

“Sure Princess, like what?” I asked, wondering how far back these may go.

“A word you used that wasn’t in the dictionary I take from place to place—Mojo?” she asked.

“As in ‘someone lost their mojo?’” I questioned.

“Yeah, something like that,” Kalista responded giggling.

“Well,” I said, walking over to K, sitting down and getting her up on my lap, “Losing your mojo means losing your life’s inspiration, or that special spark that makes a person unique. Recently, it’s gotten a more sexual definition, as in referring to a man’s libido, virility or his ability to attract someone they like or would like as a mate. Usually, men use the term to talk to other men, about how successful they are in seducing women.”

“One guy might say to the other something like, ‘I must be losing my mojo, because that beautiful redhead I just talked to, doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.’ After the guy subsequently hooks up with some girl, he will then say, ‘My mojo is back.’”

Mom and Sarah laughed at that.

“Thank you, Charles—but that brings up a new term you just said, ‘hooking up.’ From the way you just used the term, does it mean have sex with?” Kalista asked me point blank.

I heard coughing and snorting from the other side of the spa.

“Your listening and intuition skills are getting better all the time, K—that’s exactly what ‘hooking up’ means, to have sex with, as in, ‘After I marry that beautiful young lady right there, I plan to hook up with her every single night.’” I caused both Claire and me to blush, but hers turned into a delicious dimpled smile.

Kalista glided over to Annie, got up on her lap and asked, “Do you and Sarah hook up?” causing a deep blush on both Annie’s and Sarah’s face.

Sarah said, “Kallie honey, Annie and I will talk to you privately about this, OK?”

“Why? Are you ashamed of being in love with Annie, Sarah?” Kalista asked, again jolting us all to our core with both her assertiveness and her sweet innocence.

Both Mom’s scooted up next to each other, holding each other’s hands. Sarah looked over at Annie and said to K, “No, I am not ashamed of how I feel about Annie, Princess ... but other people are. That’s why we only ever kiss each other if we’re not around others. Society’s not ready for two women, our age, to express themselves in front in public. Maybe someday, but for now—I am very happy. Besides, it would potentially tarnish the image of Charles & Claire and right now, you are our meal ticket, Honey.”

“I love you, Sarah,” said Annie.

“I love you, Annie,” said Sarah, as they leaned into each other holding each other really tight.

“Charles, what’s a meal ticket?” Kalista asked, turning back to me.

“Oh, that’s an easy one, kiddo—the term has been around for a long time, originally meaning a ticket you literally receive, for a meal to be provided later, but it has also become a term meaning ‘the ultimate source of income,’ as in ‘Charles Newman and Claire McArthur are the meal ticket for C-Cask LLC.’” I responded.

“Anything else, Princess?”

Looking at her phone, “OK, what are E-Zones?”

After a giggle and a snort, Annie and Sarah together explained to her exactly what they are and where they can usually be found on both women and men.

Kalista had an ‘Aha’ moment, realizing why we all sometimes moaned and groaned during a massage.

“One more, Charles?” K said. “Back when we were on our date, you used the term ‘Coming Out Party,’ and never got around to explaining it to me.”

“Sure thing, Princess—there are actually two totally different meanings to this term—The first one goes back hundreds of years, back when the ‘upper class’ of society thought it necessary to have a party for a young girl or girls who have reached the age of maturity, typically around 13, 14, or 15 years old. In the United States, it’s usually 15 years old. The party surrounding the event was called a debutante ball, also a Cotillion, but not the usage of the word we know—it was a formal presentation of young ladies, or debutantes, to ‘polite society’ meaning everybody below those who considered themselves ‘high society.’ There are a couple of movies that show what I am talking about. When we get home to Columbus, bring this up again, OK?”

“Thank you, Charles—What’s the other meaning to ‘coming out parties’ you were talking about?” Kalista asked.

I looked over to Annie or Sarah to see if either one of them wanted to run with this. I could tell quickly they wanted me to explain this.

“OK, Kalista—I am going to do my best on this subject, but be warned, that I am not going to pull any punches with this explanation, all right?”

“Kalista, we have talked about sex, babies and other sexually-based subjects. Many people in this country have very strong opinions about what I am about to talk about. I will try to refrain from giving my opinion and just give you facts as I know them. Have you ever heard of the term ‘homosexual?’”

“Yes, I have, Charles,” K responded,

“And do you know what it means, it’s definition?”

“Not exactly—it’s confusing to me.”

I looked over at the Moms as they were mouthing to each other “Yes, it is.”

“Princess, Homosexuality is a combination of romantic and sexual behavior between two people of the same gender, like two men or two women, like Annie and Sarah. You could use the term ‘Homosexual’ to describe either two men or two women; however, there are more common terms, ‘Lesbian’ for two women and ‘Gay’ for two men. The terms I have used are the only proper terms to use for people with this situation in their lives. You may have heard some ‘street’ terms from hurtful people; terms like, homo, queer, or even fag.”

“They are not acceptable terms, because they’re mean-spirited and very hurtful. Some people, very mean people, will say those words hoping they get a reaction from the people they’re talking to or the people they’re talking about. The smartest thing to do is to not call them anything, especially to their face. Some people can handle these ‘street’ terms being said, but others can and will get terribly angry, maybe even physical.”

I stopped for a moment, finally getting over the nerves of talking about this, especially with Annie and Sarah hearing me. I felt a hand on my back, it was Sarah who leaned in and quietly asked, “Charles, don’t bring up bi-sexualism, please—stay with what you are talking about. You are doing a tremendous job honey, just stay focused and don’t worry about us old hens back here.” I laughed at her self-deprecating remark.

“OK, Princess—Now you know something about Homosexuality. Not everybody wants everybody else to know they ‘are’ homosexuals, so those who are keeping it to themselves are called ‘in the closet’ or ‘closeted’ meaning they live their lives, but keep their sexual orientation to themselves, for personal reasons.”

“Those who gain confidence in their sexuality, will decide to let people know that they’re gay or lesbian, so they will—Everybody say it with me, ‘Come Out of the Closet.’”

“Kalista—people are very protective of their sexuality, some more than others. While Annie and Sarah have become very close, using any of the terms I have discussed today around them would be inappropriate, because they’re still in the ‘falling in love with each other stage.’”

I said, smiling at the two of them. “Just because they’re falling in love with each other, doesn’t mean that they both don’t still love all of us, does it ladies?”

“That’s right,” the Mom’s, said together, causing giggles all around the room.

“Lastly, not all gays and lesbians are created equal and there are even Famous People who have ‘Come out of the Closet,’ such as...”

“Singer, songwriters
Clay Aiken, Ricky Martin, Lance Bass”

“American Actors
Zachary Quinto, Rupert Everett, Alan Cumming”

“American Actresses
Cynthia Nixon, Wanda Sykes, Sarah Paulson”

“Musical Theatre composers
Stephen Sondheim, Leonard Bernstein”

“Roman Catholic Archbishop
Rembert Weakland”

“Artists
Leonardo Da Vinci, Andy Warhol”

“And many, many more.”

“Just remember that gays and lesbians are people, just like us. They listen to music, buy our posters, come to see us on tour. I have recently read that statisticians suggest that about 1 out of every 77 Americans is Gay or Lesbian, while another story suggested as many as 1 out of every 20 is a homosexual—it’s probably somewhere in between the two sets of statistics. I hope I explained without boring you all to tears about this. Talking about this bothers me, but I can’t really explain why?” I concluded.

Annie and Sarah came over to me and each hugged me saying, “I love you” to me.

Kalista came over and got up on my lap and said, “I am going to kiss you every chance I get Charles, to make sure you don’t become a gay.”

Although that remark would be offensive on its face, this young lady on my lap is so very full of love.

Claire strode over to me saying, “Ain’t gonna happen on my watch, Kalista.” She started a truly remarkable kiss between us. I separated us and we all got out of the spa, Kalista gave both Annie and Sarah great big hugs.

After we all wrapped towels around our waists, Kalista grabbed a hand from each of the moms, while Claire and I followed behind, in awe of this young girl, who’s so rapidly getting ‘streetwise.’

After changing into dry clothes, Sarah and I added the missing sentence to the ticket and sent it off, with an OK to produce based on the finalized artwork—We also asked for 600 tickets that had no seat and row numbers on them, just saying FIELD ACCESS, for the orchestra, entertainers and family that we ask to the event.

Getting my laptop out, I told everyone we had some more decisions to make concerning performers at the wedding event.

“Like before ladies, I will list 4 artists and you give me a thumbs up or down. Once again, you don’t have to explain yourself at all to either Claire, or me, all right? Remember, it takes at least 4 of us to pass someone on, OK?”

“Yes, Mr. Cowell,” Sarah said giggling.

“Alicia Keys, Usher, Faith Hill and Lady Gaga? --- OK, we will contact Alicia, Usher and Faith.”

“Kelly Clarkson, Rihanna, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift? --- OK, we will contact Kelly and Taylor.”

“Last group for now is Sarah Bareilles, Maroon 5, U2, R. Kelly? --- All right, Sarah, Maroon 5 and Mr. Kelly.”

“That gives us a total of 20 artists now, our cap is 30, or we can change from two numbers each to three numbers, or just have Michael’s orchestra play some instrumental music to settle people down prior to the wedding music and the wedding itself. Sarah, when did we say we’d contact these folks by?”

“Labor Day this year, if not earlier, Loverboy,” Sarah said.

“Sarah!” Annie exclaimed, causing all of us to chuckle a little, since it was usually Claire making the retort to me after one of Sarah’s outbursts.

We all agreed a nap was in order, after which we would head out somewhere nice for dinner.

The next morning, after stretching, showering and changing, we headed to the Salt Palace to meet up with Michael and his Orchestra.

Although they weren’t boldly affectionate with each other in public, I noticed that Annie and Sarah have now begun holding hands when they walk side by side. I saw Michael see this, but he said nothing about it.

“Charles, any changes you want to make to the set list?” he asked.

“No, not really—except to say Claire and I would like be able to swap back and forth the last number between ‘Feeling Good,’ and you and Sarah singing ‘I have Had the Time of My Life.’ Is there a problem switching between the two?” I replied.

“No, Charles—not at all, just give me proper notice,” Michael asked.

“How soon will we be getting the International SST Schedule, Michael?”

“We should be getting that to you sometime before we start our Northern California Mini-leg. I do know we’re planning to start in Canada and end up in London, England.”

“Starting in British Columbia, I assume Michael?” I said.

I saw an expression of surprise on his face as he said, “As a matter of fact, I am—you Googled me, didn’t you ... that’s how you knew my middle name?”

“As a matter of fact, I looked you up in Wikipedia—everything you wanted to know about Michael Bublé, but were afraid to Ask.”

“Michael Stephen Bublé ... born 9 September 1975, a Canadian vocalist, songwriter, actor and record producer. He has won several awards, including three Grammy Awards and multiple Juno Awards...”

“That’s enough of that, Charles,” Michael said, “I get it, you did your homework on me. You three will have a Wikipedia page, sooner than you may think?”

Everyone laughed at that.

“There are already eight ‘Charles Newmans’ in Wikipedia,” I said, “And five of them are dead!’

We went over the set list, song by song. Everything was in great shape heading into tonight’s performance. As we were leaving to rest up before performing, Michael came up to Annie.

“It sure is good to see you again, Annie ... I am sorry for your loss.”

She very sweetly gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked over to Sarah as they grabbed each other’s hands as we all headed back to our rooms.

I asked Claire for a rubdown, which she did wonderfully, as we lay down together for a quick rest. We all changed back into our performance clothes and headed back to the Salt Palace Hall E, where there will be over 7,000 people tonight.

Claire and I scoped out the place regarding our lift at the end of our number and there appeared plenty of room to do it on the stage platform. She was happy for that.

The evening went well, from start to finish, with our final number wowing the 7,000 people right out of their seats. We had our usual long line of autograph seekers, with most of the women wanting a look at Claire’s new engagement ring. Eventually, the place thinned out and we all met up to fly to our,

31st City
Caspar, WY
One Night
Hilton Garden Inn

32nd City
Billings, MT
One Night
C’mon Inn Hotel

33rd City
Spokane, WA
Stopover
Holiday Inn Express

34th City
Seattle, WA
One Night
Hyatt House Hotel

35th City
Portland, OR
One Night
Hotel Deluxe

36th City
Eugene, OR
One Night
Phoenix Inn Suites

37th City
Salem, OR
One Night
Phoenix Inn Suites

We got on Michael’s plane and began the Northern California Mini-leg with our,

38th City
Sacramento, CA
Two Nights
Citizen Hotel

We got a Suburban Rental from the airport.

We’re performing at the Sacramento Convention Center Complex in the Ballroom, which holds 2,500 people, for two nights.

We will be staying in a little different arrangement than usual—Sarah got a Deluxe Bedroom with two doubles for her, Mom and Kalista, while she got an additional One Bedroom Suite for Claire and me to have to ourselves ... although they will be on the same floor of the hotel, they’re not even close to each other.

What’s that old expression ... Give someone enough rope and see if they hang themselves with it?

Or they just trust us to be alone without close personal supervision. I did notice our room ... just a minute ... I have got to say that again ... our room ... Whew ... Our room has an extra deep soaking tub (meaning room for two)—with a view of the city.