Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 301
One evening, after the honeymoon, Dick was working on his Harley in the garage. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally said, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we’re married, maybe it’s time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage. You probably should consider selling your Harley and all that welding equipment; they take up so much of your time. And that gun collection and fishing gear, they just take up so much space. And you know the boat is such an ongoing expense; and you hardly use it. I also think you should lose all those stupid model airplanes and your home brewing equipment...”And what’s the use of that vintage hot rod?
Dick got a horrified look on his face.
She noticed and said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
He replied, “You were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!?” she shouted, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”
Dick replied, “I wasn’t...”
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Say thanks to mixerman478
What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?
A tearjerker.
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How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
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I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay.
She said she didn’t have time.
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Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
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Say what you want about pedophiles...
But at least they drive slow through the school zones. ✧ ✧ ✧
What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
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What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
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What’s the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
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