Chapter 148

These are compliments of Fmwarmac A stingy old lawyer who had be...

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, “You can’t take it with you.”

After much thought and consideration, the man finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases.

He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.

Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer’s wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two pillow cases stuffed with cash.

“Oh, that darned old fool,” she exclaimed. “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”

Carlos panhandles just as long Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3dollars every day.

Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos says to Jose, “I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?”.

Jose says,... “Look at your sign, what does it say?”

Carlos’ sign reads, “I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support.”

Jose says, “No wonder you only get $2-3 dollars.”

Carlos says, “So what does your sign say?”

Jose shows Carlos his sign...

It reads, “I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico

Mid Semester Final Exam

One night Jack Evans, along with his 3 university friends went out drinkinig till late night, as many college students are prone to do, and didn’t study for their test, which, of course, was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.

They went up to the dean and explained that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst. They continued to explain how they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

The dean, being a compassionate human being said that they could take the test after 3 days. The students graciously replied that they’d be ready by that time.

On the third day, they appeared before the dean. The dean explained that since this was a special test all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the duration of the exam.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 points: MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATION INSTRUCTIONS : All questions are required. Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among the four students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.

Q .1. Write down your name. ----- (2 POINTS)
Q .2. Write the name of the bride and groom at the wedding you attended. ----- (30 POINTS)
Q .3. What type of a car were you driving? ------(20 POINTS)
Q .4. Which tire burst? ------- (28 POINTS)
Q .5. Who was driving? ------ (20 POINTS).
----

Last year I replaced several w...

Last year I replaced several windows in my house and they were the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work has been completed for a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy oh boy did we go ‘round. Just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year ... that in one year the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven’t heard back. Guess I must have won that silly argument.