Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 98
Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
A: “Olive or twist?”
Q: What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?
A: “Please, no stories!”
Q. Why did God invent Jameson whiskey?
A. So the Irish would never rule the world!
Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?
A: The Holy Spirit!
Q: What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order?
A: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
Q: You know what’s fun about being sober?
A: Nothing.
Q: Why did Mexicans create tequila?
A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?
A: Tequila Mockingbird
Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
Q: How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic?
A: They keep falling off the wagon.
Q: How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle?
A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
Q: How can you find the guy who drank a case of Coors Light?
A: He’s the one dancing like an asshole!
Q: How do you know a man is really really gay?
A: When he’s nursing a Bacardi Breezer!
Q: What happens when a ghost drinks boos?
A: They get sheet-faced.
Q: What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels?
A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Q: How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of Miller Lite instead of one.
Q: What’s the cure for marriage?
A: Alcoholism.
Q: Why does Corona go through your system so fast?
A: Because it does not have to stop to change color
Q: How do you get a computer drunk?
A: A Screenshot of Tequila.
Q: When do women drink alcohol?
A: Wine O’Clock.
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