Chapter 94

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies “Yes I do!” and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks “Where did you get this?” The guy replies “Oh I have a personal genie.” The first man asks “Can I make a wish? “ Sure says the other man “Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing” “Ok I will” says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says “ I want a Million Bucks “ The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly overhead And the guy says to the other “ Your genie really sucks at hearing doesn’t he?” The other man replies “I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC”

Three men went Las Vegas and after a losing their money at the blackjack tables, the best friends decided to stay off the strip in a not so lavish hotel and the guy that owned it had 18 daughters. So the first man went up to their father and said “can I sleep with your 18 daughters?” the father said “no but you can sleep with the pigs.” the second man went to the father and said “can I sleep with your 18 daughters?” the father said “ no but you can sleep with the cows.” the third man said “can I sleep with your 18 daughters?” the father said “yes.” so in the morning the three men and the father had a conversation over breakfast the first man said “I slept like a pig” the second man said “I slept like a cow” the third man said “I felt like a golfer” the father asked why? he said cause I got my balls in 18 holes.

A little boy walks into a whore house with a $100 bill and a dead frog. He goes to the pimp and asks for the ho with the most venereal diseases. The pimp is surprised but gives the boy his ho. After the boy does his deed, the pimp asks why he wanted the ho with all the venereal diseases. The boy answers: When I go home, I will get a babysitter while my parents go out to eat and I’ll fuck her. When my parents get home, my dad will drive the sitter home and screw her in the car. Tonight, my parents will fuck. Tomorrow, after my dad leaves for work, my mom will do the mailman, AND THAT THE SON Of A BITCH WHO RAN OVER MY FROG!!!!!

In the Garden of Eden,
As everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve,
Without any clothes.

In this garden,
Were two little leaves,
One covered Adam’s,
One covered Eve’s.

As the story goes on,
Never the less to say,
The wind came along,
And blew the leaves away.

At the sight,
Adam did stare,
There was Eve’s treasure,
All covered with hair.

And wonder came,
Under Eve’s eyes,
As Adam’s thing,
Started to rise.

They found a spot,
That suited them best,
A nice big tree,
Where they began to rest.

Her legs spread wider,
And wider apart,
While thrill after thrill,
Came into her heart.

The head of Adam’s thing,
Peeked into the hole,
And filled her with passion,
Beyond her control.

Backward and forward,
His thing did slide,
And Eve’s treasure,
Was all wet inside.

The joy was good,
She wouldn’t let loose,
Until Adam’s thing,
Was all out of juice.

Then down through the years,
People did screw,
And now it is time,
For me and you.

So pull down your pants,
And lay in the grass,
Cause I’m in the mood,
For a piece of that ASS!
----

A young associate was romantically ambushed in a darkened room of the law firm. After months of the social isolation that comes from eighty hour work weeks, the associate was happy to reciprocate. However, when asked by a friend to identify the lover, the associate was puzzled. “All I know for sure is that it was a partner -- I had to do all the work.”

This one is compliments of pigs41

Little Johnny Learns Math’s

The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, “ Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers.

Put your hands behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers.

Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.