Chapter 91

This shorty is compliments of Dingwall42‎

Little Jonny “I bet you haven’t got one of these”.

Little Mary “No, but my Daddy has two of them. He’s got a small one for wee-weeing with and a big one for cleaning Mummy’s teeth.”

These are from a dedicated reader...

An innocent young man went into a strip club for the first time. Not wanting to watch the show alone, he sat down next to an older gentleman. “Come here often?” he asked. “Not really” the guy replied. “I usually wait until I get home”.

TRANSLATIONS FOR WOMEN - JUST SO YOU KNOW

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...

“IT’S A GUY THING”

Translated: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical”.

“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”

Translated: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”

“UH HUH” “SURE, HONEY” OR “YES, DEAR”

Translated: “Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”

Translated: “I have no idea how it works”.

“TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD”

Translated: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner”.

“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR”

Translated: “Are you still talking?”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS”

Translated: “I remember the theme song to ‘The A Team’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the VIN’s of every car I’ve ever owned ... but I forgot your birthday”.

“OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL”

Translated: “I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt”.

“HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING”

Translated: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon”.

“I CAN’T FIND IT”

Translated: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless”.

“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”

Translated: “What did you catch me at?”

“I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE”

Translated: “No one will ever see us alive again”.

“WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK”

Translated: “I make the messes; she cleans them up”.