Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 9
This one is compliments of R. McFee
So, this fellow bought a parrot from the pet store, and wondered why it was so cheap. The bird appeared healthy; it looked around, and seemed perfectly normal.
After a few days in his new home, the bird began to speak. “Polly want a cracker”, etcetera, you know, the usual stuff.
Time passed, and the bird began to swear. And swear, and swear. The new owner, a firefighter, was no stranger to Anglo Saxon turns of phrase, but, Lawsey! This bird knew some curses!
The firefighter tried reasoning with the bird, and, for his trouble, was invited to have carnal knowledge of a goat.
He tried yelling at the bird, and was invited to worship at the altar of the Patron Saint of Fertility. With himself.
Finally, the bird let loose with a blistering stream of invective, so loud, so profane, so scorching vulgar, that, in desperation, the firefighter seized the parrot, threw open the freezer, and tossed the squalling bird inside, slamming the door shut.
The cursing and shenanigans continued for several minutes, until, abruptly, they ended. The man waited for a few more minutes, until, concerned, he peeked into the freezer, and beheld a silent, wide eyes bird scrunched up in one corner of the freezer.
He withdrew the silent parrot, set him on his perch, and regarded the creature for a bit.
“You think that you have finished swearing around me?” he asked.
The bird nodded.
“Do you understand that I am through tolerating that sort of language? No more!”
The bird nodded.
The owner glared at the bird for a bit, until the parrot ventured, “Sir? May I ask a question?”
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