Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 88
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep sh*t.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
Once you open it, you realize it’s half-empty.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job will still suck.
What’s the difference between oral and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall ... The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”
“You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”
“Oh yeah? Look at him, he’s afraid to cough!”
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold onto your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.
Two Italian men get on a bus. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.”
“You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”
“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ abouta sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi’.”
I went out dressed like a chicken last night...
... and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken.
What’s a 6.9?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
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