Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 86
New Naval Ships Female Quarter Regulations:
Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private “OFF LIMITS” area on all aircraft carriers. While addressing all personnel at Pearl Harbor, CINCPAC advised, “Female sleeping quarters will be “out-of-bounds” for all males. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time.”
And the Admiral continued, “Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $150. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $500. Are there any questions?”
At this point, a US Marine from the security detail assigned to a ship stood up in the crowd and inquired, “How much for a season pass?”
God bless the Marine Corps!
Say thanks to sbrooks103 for this one
A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force.
“In 1942,” he says, “the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember,” he continues, “one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.”
(At this point, several of the children giggle.)
“I looked up, and right above me was one of them fokkers. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me.”
At this instant the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says, “I think I should point out that ‘Fokker’ was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company.”
“That’s true,” says the pilot, “but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidts.”
This one is compliments of Old Rotorhead
What do you call a golden-plumaged birdbrain who’s a long-time media figure and tweets all the time?
.
.
.
.
.
Well, Warner Bros. called it “Tweety Bird”, but if you said “Donald Trump” no one will argue.
These are from Phoenix
Generic Drug News
In pharmacology, all drugs have two names - a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol is acetaminophen. Aleve is known as naproxen, and Advil is ibuprofen.
The Industry has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced the generic name of mycoxafloppin. Also considered were mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin, mydixarizin, mydixadud, dixafix, and of course ibepokin.
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