Chapter 82

Your laugh of the day!

Judy Wallman Trump, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California, was doing some personal work on her own family tree.

She discovered that President Donald Trump’s great, great uncle, Remus Trump, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and President Trump share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory. On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: “Remus Trump, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.”

So Judy recently e-mailed the President for information about their great, great uncle, Remus.

Believe it or not, President Trump’s staff sent this response back.

Remus Trump was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”

Now THAT is how it’s done, Folks, in politics!

Say thanks to Pepere for this one.

COW HIT BY A LIMO:

A cow suddenly runs out onto the road, and a limo driving late at night, hits it head on, and the car comes to a stop.

The woman in the back seat, in her usual abrasive manner, says to the Chauffeur, “You get out and check on that poor cow. You were driving.”

So, the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead, but it appeared to be very old.

Well, says the woman, “You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer in that lighted farmhouse over there.”

Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally inebriated, a full belly, his hair ruffled, and a big grin on his face.

“My God, what happened to you?” asks the nasty woman.

The chauffeur replies, “ The farmer opened his best bottle of single malt scotch when I got there, the wife gave me a meal fit for a king, and the daughter made love to me.”

“What on earth did you say?” asks the woman.

Well, I just knocked on the door, and I said to them, “I’m Nancy Pelosi’s chauffeur, and I’ve just killed the old cow,” when it opened.

Don’t you just love a story with a happy ending?