Jokes and Giggles Part Two

A bloke is out shopping and discovers a new brand of condoms called Olympic. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon returning home he tells his wife about them. “Olympic condoms?” she replies: “What makes them so special?” The man says: “Well, there are three colours - gold, silver and bronze.” “What colour are you going to wear tonight? “She asks wearily. “Gold of course, “says the man proudly. The wife gives him a withering look and says: “What about silver? It’d be nice if you tried coming second for a change.”

A sausage factory owner was showing his arrogant son around and try as he might he found it impossible to impress him. As they approached the heart of the factory, the man thought: “If this doesn’t do it nothing will!” He showed his son a machine and said: “Son, this machine is the very the heart of the factory. We put in a pig and outcomes sausages.” Still unimpressed his son merely replied: “Yes, but do you have a machine where you feed in sausages and produce a pig.” The furious father thought and said, “Yes son, we call it your mother.”