Chapter 77

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said “who owns the big white horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said “I do ... why?” The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!”

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better”. Tonto said “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks “Who owns that big white horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims “I do, what’s wrong with him this time?” The cowboy looks him in the eye and says “Nothing, but you left your Injun runnin’”.

An elderly spinster called the lawyer’s office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come in.

“Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?” The attorney agreed and went to the spinster’s home to discuss her estate and the will.

The lawyer’s first question was “Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you’d like them to be distributed under your will?” She replied “Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank”.

“Tell me” the lawyer asked “how would you like the $40,000 to be distributed?” The spinster said “Well, as I’ve told you, I’ve lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I’d like them to notice when I pass on. I’d like to provide $35,000 for my funeral”. The lawyer remarked “Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you!”

“But tell me” he continued “what would you like to do with the remaining $5,000?” The spinster replied “As you know, I’ve never married, I’ve lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact I’ve never slept with a man. Before I die, I’d like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with me”. “This is a very unusual request” the lawyer said, adding “but I’ll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you”.