Chapter 75

Little Walter and President Obama

President Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name.”

Walter,” responds the little boy.

“And what is your question, Walter?”

“I have five questions:”

+First, “Why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?”

+Second, “Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s

actually gotten worse?”

+Third, “Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?”

+Fourth, “Why are we lending money to Brazil to drill for oil, but

America is not allowed to drill for oil?”

+Fifth, “Who in the HELL traded 5 terrorists we captured that was our main source of Taliban information for one chicken shit deserter?”

Just then, the bell rings for recess.

Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume Obama says, “OK, where were we?

Oh, that’s right: question time ... Who has a question?”

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.

“Steve,” he responds.

“And what is your question, Steve?”

Actually, I have two questions.

+First, “Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?”

+Second, “And What the hell happened to Walter?”

Just like Brian

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Brian” Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie: “Brian Sullivan. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”

Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow. Some guy then.”

Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.

He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan.”

Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I’m married to his fucking widow.”