Chapter 67

This one is from john w

Another one...

Paddy and Mick are on a building site ... Paddy said to Mick “I don’t feel too good so I’m going to pretend I’m mad and the foreman will see me and send me home.”

So Paddy hangs from the rafters by his feet shouting “I’m a light bulb. I’m a lightbulb, look at me I’m a light bulb.”

The foreman sees him and shouts “Paddy ... You are crazy ... Get yourself off home.”

Then the foreman sees Mick packing his bag and says “Mick ... where do you think you are going?”

Mick says Well I can’t work in the dark can I”?

This one is from joevsr‎

Valentine’s Day
Bar Stool #1 “What did you get your wife for Valentine’s Day??
Bar Stool #2 “Nothing, She did not use what I got her last year.”
Bar Stool #1 “What did you get her last year?”
Bar Stool #2 “Cemetery Plots!!”

Valentine’s day is the only day you can wear a red “heart-on” and nobody comments.

These Mind bogglers are compliments of squaddie117‎

Read these using pure logic, no common sense, a pinch of salt, leave your brains in neutral and try not to run on the freeway afterwards :).

A bullet cannot hit a man running away.
By the time the bullet has reached the man’s point of departure, the man has retreated.
The bullet then has to cover that extra distance but finds the man has retreated further.
It covers that distance too, only to find that again the man is not there.
And so on and so on.
Each successive advance occupies a finite length of time no matter how small.
You cannot divide and subdivide a fraction to produce zero.
Therefor a bullet cannot hit a running man.

A man can marry his widow’s sister.
A man married a woman who died.
He then married her sister.
He died.
Wasn’t his first wife his widow’s sister?

Definitions of land and lake.
An island is a body of land surrounded by water. Correct.
A lake is a body of water surrounded by land. Also correct.
Assume that this planet has all its northern hemisphere land and all the southern hemisphere water.
Is the northern half and island or is the southern half a lake?

TAILS OF A CAT.
No cat has eight tails.
Every cat has one tail more than no cat.
Therefor every cat has nine tails.

Consistent liar,
I am a consistent liar,
Therefor this statement itself must be a lie.
Therefor I am not a consistent liar.
The conclusion is that I can be a consistent liar only by not being a consistent liar.
Yet I cannot be a consistent liar without being consistent.
Therefor I must be telling the truth by being a consistent liar.