Chapter 64

Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store’s merchandise wasn’t in -- only a few shelves and display racks set up.

One said to the other, “I’ll bet that any minute now some old senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”

Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud voice asked, “What are you selling here?”

One of the men replied sarcastically, “We’re selling ass-holes.”

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, “You must be doing well ... Only two left.”

Seniors -- don’t mess with them. They didn’t get old by being stupid!

A group of Canadians were travelling by tour bus through Holland.

As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through a process of cheese making, explaining that goat’s milk was used.

She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced.

She then asked, “What do you do in Canada with your old goats that aren’t producing?”

A spry old gentleman answered, “They send us on bus tours.”

Say thanks to dorsetmike‎ for the following.

Three old men walking side by side

First: “It’s windy today”.

Second: “No, it’s Thursday”

Third: “So am I. Let’s go for a beer.”

What goes across a lake at 100mph?

... A motor pike and sidecarp.

I used to love farm vehicles, but not anymore - I’m an ex-tractor fan

I was frantically pacing outside the maternity ward today.

Just so everyone thinks I’ve actually had sex.

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.

A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus...

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man’s he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, ‘Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.’ The blind man replies, ‘If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we’d be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.’...

A woman went to the doctor’s office, where she was seen by a young, new doctor.

After about 4 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.

She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.

After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded,

“What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is a 59 year old widow, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and hasn’t had sex since her husband passed away 7 years ago! Yet you told her she was pregnant?”

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said:

“Does she still have the hiccups?”