Chapter 6

This one is compliments of thedad49

Rules For Work:

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire about how it’s going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me and advise me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is priority. I’m psychic.

5. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

6. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

7. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

8. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

9. Never introduce me to the people you’re with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

10. Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager’s hell.

11. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

12. Wait until my yearly review and then tell me what my goals should have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the money anyway.”

Compliments of renegadelover

3 Blondes walking along the beach find a bottle laying in the sand. One picks it up, opens it, and out comes a genie. The genie looks at them and says; “I can only grant 3 wishes so I will grant each of you one wish each.”

He looks at the 1st Blonde and ask, “What would you like to wish for?”

1st Blonde says,” I would like to be twice as smart as I am now.”

Genee snaps his fingers and makes her twice as smart.

He looks at the 2nd Blonde and asked her what her wish was.

She answers and says,” I want to be twice as smart as you made her.”

Genee snaps his fingers to make her twice as smart as the 1st one.

He looks at the 3rd Blonde and asked her,”Have you thought about what you want to wish for?”

She answered and said,” I have and it would be nice if I were twice as smart as you made the 1st one. It would be even better if I were twice as smart as you made the 2nd one. But I want to be half as smart as I am now.”

Genee made her a man.

Told to me by a female truck driver who is a Natural Blonde. You should have heard the other Drivers pitching a fit. LOL