Chapter 576

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Alphqwe is being a shit disturber again!!! 😎

(Insure that your health insurance is up to date first) If you really want your wife to remember this years Xmas, don’t buy her jewelry, furs or even a car. Buy her a mop.

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Biiguy came through again 😆😎

When Jesus brought the 5 loaves, Gautama made his contribution. So everyone has Bread and Buddha

If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

Imagine a world where monkeys have given up tobacco.

Planet of the Vapes.

I know you’re a Bladerunner, but in this house we don’t run with scissors.

After conquering vast swathes of territory, the Mongols’ motto became, “If anybody can, Genghis Khan”.

Henry VIII dried his first wife, and put her in a small jar. And that is what became of Catherine of Tarragon.

General Grant yelled across to General Lee, “And how are your parents’?”

Lee yelled back, “Very well, thank you. And it’s nice weather we’re having this time of year.”

It was a very civil war.

A teacher asked a student “If I gave you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples would you have?”

The student said, “four”.

The teacher said, “But one and one and one are three”.

“I know”, said the student, “but I already have one apple.”

There were 34 students in the class, and the teacher asked them, “Who’s the oldest child in your family? Among others, a girl raised her hand. “And who is the youngest?”, the teacher asked.

The girl raised her hand again. The teacher said, “You’ve raised your hand twice.”. “Yes”, said the girl. “I’m an only child”.

I went line dancing the other day.

Well it was a roadside sobriety test ... Same thing.

Another day without sports. Watching birds fight over worms.

Cardinals – 3, Blue Jays - 1

It’s been a bit of a strange day. First, I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar...

Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers.

Him: To tell the truth, I never knew she sold flowers.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.

Walmart is opening dental offices in some of its stores.

There will be an express line for people with 12 teeth or less.

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for

So far no one has given me a straight answer

I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I’m mature, I’m moral, I’m pure, I’m polite and I’m perfect! Then she added that I also...

... had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...

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