Chapter 57

Compliments of c0ffee‎

A chap was in the pub enjoying a pint, and went to the vending machine to buy some cigarettes.

As he put his coins in, the cigarette machine said:

‘Look at the state of you. That shirt is hideous, your haircut is terrible, and those shoes make you look like a clown.’

Stunned, the man presses the reject button and gets his money back.

He goes back to the bar, mulling over what happened, and takes a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the bar.

The bowl pipes up:

‘Hey! Lookin’ good! Is that a new shirt? And I really like that aftershave!’

He attracts the attention of the barman and says:

‘Something odd is going on. I went to the cigarette machine and it was really rude to me, and then I had some peanuts and they made some rather flattering comments.’

The barman replies:

‘Ah yes. The peanuts are complimentary but the cigarette machine is out of order.’

This one is compliments of DaveA‎ and his assumption is likely correct.

A candidate for the sick joke of the Century...

Just think, if Africa had more mosquito nets, it would save millions of innocent mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS