Chapter 555

Old Rotorhead provided this medley

Shifty variants:

“She’s like a Japanese goldfish,” said Tom koi-ly, “spectacular looks, but her mouth is always open.”

“She’s like a goldfish,” carped Tom, “looks good but her mouth is always open.”

I hasten to add that the sexes can be reversed in the foregoing, and they make just as much sense.

Another one liner from Alphqwe

After my last visit to the Doctor I now have to practice social distancing from my Refrigerator! 😢

Stevensalo submitted this one, many thanks

A man that works in a pickle factory comes home from work clearly upset. His wife asks him what’s wrong. He replies that he’s been getting a crazy urge to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

She’s obviously shocked but tries to be supportive and urges him to talk to a counselor about it as soon as possible.

He readily agrees and the next day gets home at noon.

His wife asks him why he’s home so early and he tells her he got fired.

She’s upset and asks why.

He Looks sad and admits to getting fired for putting his penis in the pickle slicer.

She turns white as a ghost and squeaks out: “Oh My God. What happened?”

Still looking glum, he mutters: “She got fired too.”

af9023 is the one to thank for this one.

As a drunk guy starts to leave the bar, he pushes another bigger guy out of his way. As everyone knows that alcohol gives you a lot of liquid courage. Drunk man thinks that he is tougher than the other guy.

But, before anything happens, the bartender tell them both to settle their differences outside!

Ten minutes later drunk guy crawls thru the doorway, clothes torn, bloody, bruised, cuts and scratches all over.

The bartender asked the hell happened.

The drunk says the F.B.I. did this.

The bartender says that he can’t call the Federal Bureau of Investigation about a drunk bar fight!

Drunk man says “Not the Federal Bureau of Investigation. It was that Fucking Big Indian!”