Chapter 547

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Say thanks to OldGreyDuck for this one:

Part of my job entails being on the phone with people who live all over the country. I was talking with a woman who lives in a rural area in Washington state. During the conversation, she mentioned that her young grandchildren were visiting and were fascinated by the fact that her next-door neighbors had a small petting farm. In fact, the kids were watching a demonstration on shearing.

The 4-year-old granddaughter came running in screaming: “Grandma! They’re PEELING the sheep!”

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Smokeyjoe is to be thanked for this grouping:

HOW TO KNOW YOU ARE GROWING OLD.

1) Everything hurts, what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
2) The gleam in your eye is the sun reflecting off your bifocals.
3) You feel like the morning after, but you haven’t been anywhere.
4) Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
5) You get winded playing cards.
6) Your children are starting to look middle aged.
7) You now know all the answers, but no-one asks you the questions.
8) You look forward to a dull evening.
9) You need glasses to find your glasses.
10)You turn off the lights for economy instead of romance.
11)You sit in a rocking chair, but you can’t make it go.
12)Your knees buckle, but your belt won’t.
13)Your back goes out more often than you do.
14)You put your bra on back to front and it fits better.
15)Your house is too big, but your medicine cabinet isn’t.
16)You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
17)Your birthday cake collapses under the weight of the candles.

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