Chapter 537

Another contribution from Sharkfin

Two cannibals stranded on an island. They ate every living thing including vegetation to survive.

Finally, with nothing left to eat one cannibal said to the other “since we are going to die, we should do as we lived. We should eat each other till we die.”

The other agreed and the laid opposite each other and started at eating each other’s feet. The first stopped and asked, “How you doing?”

The second replied “Having a ball.”

The fist said, “Slow down you’re eating too fast.”

Harry Carton is responsible for this one.

Through the pitch-black and foggy night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship.

He sends a signal: “We are on a collision course. Change your course ten degrees east.”

The signal comes back: “Change yours, ten degrees west.”

Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!”

“I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.”

Now the captain is furious. “This is a nuclear aircraft carrier! I’m not changing course!”

The reply: “This is the Montauk Lighthouse, sir. Your call.”

Mimauk has a question for you readers!

Have you got Sex Insurance?

In the UK you can now get the correct insurance for your preferred type of sex from the following companies.

Sex with your wife - Legal and General.

Sex with your partner - Standard Life.

Sex with someone different - Go Compare.

Phone sex - Direct Line.

Sex with ladies of more generous proportions - More Than.

Sex in the back of a car - Sheilas Wheels.

Sex with a prostitute - Commercial Union.

Sex with your mais - Employers Liability.

Sex with an OAP - Saga.

Sex resulting in pregnancy - General Accident.

Sex with Animals - National Farmers Union.

Sex with a monk - Abbey Life.

Sex with navy officers - Admiral Group.