Chapter 533

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jus-dafax provided this one, thanks!

An 80-year-old man goes in to see his pharmacist who has been his friend for decades.

He says, “I’ve been hearing about this Viagra stuff on TV and I want you to get me some.”

The pharmacist replies, “Those pills are by doctor’s prescription only but because you’re a friend, I think I can slip you a few on the sly.”

“Great” says the old man. “Can you cut each pill into quarters for me?”

The pharmacist scratches his head and says, “I don’t think that a quarter pill will get you stiff enough for sex at your age.”

“Sex?” snorts the old man. “Who said anything about sex? I just want to get stiff enough that when I pee, I miss the toes of my shoes.”

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af9023 provide this item:

As a sailor on a ship at sea I have seen some of the most pitiful and stupidest in command. The ship has had various “BIG” shots come aboard for a surprise nitpicking inspection. The worst one was a “BIG SHOT Admiral” was making a trip around the deck and saw something dripping from the bottom of a large cylinder. He orders the nearest crew member to clean up the hazardous substance and report back to him when this has been resolved. The crew member does as he is told. He reports back to the Admiral, who was dining with the “XO” (commanding officer), Sir, I cleaned up the hazard and stationed a guard around “the BRT”. “Well done sailor”, said the Admiral, when the man had departed early the next morning, the “XO” called the same crew member to the bridge. Mister, I have been a sailor on different boats my entire life. I’ve never even read about’ seen, heard, touched any thing called a BRT “what the hell is it? The crew member said a loud and clear voice so everybody in the room could hear. With a straight face “SIR a big round thing!!! The sailor never had “KP” duty the rest of his career.

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MooseBreath’s thoughts about urinals!

I first saw that in a latrine in North Fort, Fort Polk, LA, in 1971. On another wall was this: “Please quit throwing your cigarette butts in the urinals, the roaches are developing cancer.”

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tavern_knight’s urinal comments:

Don’t bother standing on the toilet seat ... Texas crabs can JUMP 10 feet.

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