Chapter 514

????

Fofo Xuxu is to thank for this group!!

Here are a few jokes. Hope you can use them.

A duck walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?”
“No this is a bar and we don’t serve ducks, now get out of here.”
Next day the duck comes back, “Got any grapes?”
“No, I do not and if you come here again, I’m going to nail your feet to the floor.”
Next day the duck comes back again and asks, “Got any nails?”
“No.”
“Got any grapes?”

Everyone’s Buddy

At a wedding reception I recently attended, the best man announced, “All the married men, please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living.”

The bartender was nearly crushed to death!

At breakfast, a man asked his wife:
“What would you do if I won the lottery?”
She replied, “I’d take half, and then leave you.”
“Great,” he said. “I won $12 yesterday. Here’s $6. Stay in touch.”

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”
The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”
“Yes, Father, it is.”
“And who was the girl you were with?”
“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”
“I cannot say.”
“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”
“I’ll never tell.”
“Was it Nina Capelli?”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”
“Was it Cathy Piriano?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”
“Please, Father! I cannot tell you.”
The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”
“Four months’ vacation and five good leads...”