Chapter 512

Subject: Jehovah Witness

A rare occurrence

There was a knock on the door this morning, I opened it and there was a young bloke standing there who said:

“I’m a Jehovah’s Witness.”

I said “Come in and sit down, what do you want to talk about?”

He said, “ Fucked if I know - I’ve never got this far before!”

Jack Green provided this gem. 😎

When His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales got out of the royal limousine at Aberfliarff, a mining village in the Cwmbyyerr Valley, South Wales, the welcoming group of village worthies gaped in amazement. HRH was wearing headgear reminiscent of the racoon skin cap favoured by the late David Crocket except the dead animal perched on HRH’s head was a fox, with the mask, as the face of a fox is known to the Hunting Set, to the fore and the brush, as the tail of a fox is known to the Hunting Set, hanging half way down the back of Prince Charles.

Morgan the Organ, Local councillor, Chairman of Aberfliarff Rugby Union Football Club, and organist of Zion Baptist Chapel, greeted the Royal Visitor. HRH had come to open the recently constructed Village Hall and Community Centre, Prince Charles being patron of The Prince’s Trust that had provided the money for the build.

“The hall is over by there, Your Royal Buttyness,” Morgan the Organ said, pointing up a steep slope. All directions in Aberfliarff are ‘up’, the only level piece of real-estate in the village being the sacred Rugby pitch.

It was a stifling hot day, and soon HRH was perspiring as the party toiled up the hill. Had HRH been a commoner he would have been sweating, as Morgan the Meat, local butcher and leader of Cor Meibion Aberfliarff, was quick to remark.

“Duw! There’s sweating cobs you are, isn’t it. Shall I carry your hat, Your Royal Highbuttyness bach?”

“That’s frightfully kind of you, Mister Morgan,” Prince Charles replied, “but I am wearing the hat by Command of Her Majesty and cannot remove it.”

“Why’s that then, Your Royal Buttyship?” Asked Morgan the Pub, landlord of ‘The Petrified Ferret’ and organiser of Cwmbyyerr Valley Eisteddfod.

His Royal Highness explained. “When I came down to breakfast this morning at Buck House my mother, Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, asked what I was doing today. I replied I was visiting Aberfliarff.”

“Aberfliarff,” Her Majesty exclaimed. “Wear the Fox Hat.”