Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 495
My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness. I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.”
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator.
I thought growing old would take longer.
Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “close enough.”
Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.
I’m a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!
Retirement to do list: Wake up. Nailed it!
Went to an antique show and people were bidding on me.
People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.
Retired: under new management. See spouse for details.
When you can’t find the sunshine ... be the sunshine.
Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.
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