Chapter 49

The world according to St John‎

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

“Oh my, I am sooo sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,” she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ... and stay for breakfast the next morning.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been incredible!!!!

“You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?”

“No, she replies ... You just happened to catch my eye.”

Two girlfriends are having a conversation about their boyfriends when the first one says: “My boyfriend said he fantasizes about having two girls at once.” The other replies, “Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?”.

“I said, If you can’t satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off two?”

A young virgin marries a Greek man. Just before the wedding, her father tells her that being Greek, her husband may ask her to turn over for love making one day. If she doesn’t want to do it that way he tells her, she doesn’t have to. Sure enough, after a couple of months her husband asks her to turn over for sex. “No way,” the girl protested.

“Dad said I didn’t have to do that!” “OK,” replied the husband, “but I thought you wanted children!”