Chapter 488

Smokeyjoe34 provides some street rules the next time your drive a Chariot, Hey in Trump’s World they are mounting a comeback!!

Caesar’s Road Laws.

If thou art using thy Chariot for thine journey. Heed ye thee the laws of Caesar.

1. Thou shalt heed the signs that sayeth stop.

The Red Octagon tablet that calleth upon thee to pause also the lamp that turneth Red before thee hath real meaning to the wise. To wager thy years against a moment of time, truly giveth thee the appearance of an idiot who knoweth not the odds. Also the lamp of Amber doth call upon thee for caution and if thou heedeth it not, then Jupiter the bestowal of good fortune may look upon thee as a donkey and thy day in traction shall be long and miserable.

2.Thou shalt not exceed the limits of speed.

Though the horses under thy right foot may be many, suffer them not to lead thee to thy destruction. Even though Jupiter and the Angel of Death resideth not upon thy shoulder, the Radar and Camera doth spot thee from afar and their masters shalt carry thee before their judges where thou wilt be relieved of thy hard earned shekels and be dissuaded from driving thy chariot for some time. If thou wisheth for speed, take ye to the nearest Amphitheater built for this purpose.

3.Thou shalt not pass when the way is not clear.

Thy life is surely thine own and if cast it away it will be thy own self who shalt perish. But thy wayfaring brothers and thy kin have no defense against thee whence thy juggernaut doth bear down upon them. And they may perish in the ruins and thy ignorance shalt not wash thine hands the blood of these innocents.

4.Thou shalt show courtesy unto others.

A journey unto the temple by the devoted on the Sabbath douth have great meaning. Yet, the screeching of wheels of thy chariot doth make the brethren cry out against thee and many prayers of malediction shalt be heaped upon thee as their souls will be saddened. Also the blaring of thy trumpet wilt not cause objects in thy path to crumble liketh the Walls of Jericho but verily love will depart from those who must leap to safety and they wilt also call down maledictions upon thy head.

5.Thou shalt not follow too closely.

If thy Chariot follows too closely to the Chariot before thee, thy brow may be caused to form into knots. Also if the chariot in front of thee pauses suddenly, wilt render destruction unto thy grillwork and horses, also it wilt causeth thy insurance to multiply and the Praetorian Guard to look upon thee unfavorably.

6.Thou shalt travel in thy proper lane.

The lanes that are marked for thy journey upon the highway are not for thy pleasure but for thy safety. Weaving is the trade of the Cloth Maker and not of the Charioteer. It sendeth thy road mates into frenzies, ditch or pasture and they will loveth thee not. Remember that most of thy road mates are not of the same knowledge as thee.

7.Thou shalt dim thine lamps when approaching others.

The lamps on thy Chariot are of many candles and should thou blind the eyes of the oncoming they wilt not perceive the direction of the way and thou may be charged with a force of a heard of wild stampeding Elephants, as although they have eyes they seeth thee not.

8.Thou shalt not drive unto exhaustion.

Thou shalt rest when thou art needful of it, let not thy weary orbs deceive thee for neither caffeine nor pep pills be a prop unto thy tired brain as it may leadeth thee unto eternity. Sleepeth at the reins of thy Chariot and thy earthly moments shalt be fewer that the mourners at thy tomb.

9.Thou shalt not drive thy Chariot whilst partaking of the fermented liquid.

The liquid of the fruit of the vine may refresh thee after the completion of thine journey, but touch it not whilst wheeling unto thy destination. It maketh thee a man of distinction only to thine ownself and it may aideth greatly in making a widow of thine helpmate and offspring. It may causeth thee to lie in the dark dungeons and thy innocent victims shalt moan and die upon the roadside, whilst many more shekels shall be removed from thee.

10.Thou shalt observe the actions of other charioteers.

Although thou might be an artful Charioteer, be mindful of others, for as much as it takes many nails and bolts to hold a Chariot together, it would only take one nut to scatter them across the Via Romana. Be mindful that every other Charioteer is an idiot except thee.

So it is written, so shall it be done.