Chapter 481

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Thank to the OldGreyDuck for this one:

The new military base commander was inspecting the facility and came upon 2 privates guarding a bench. He asked why. They answered; “We don’t know for sure. The last commander told us to do it, so here we are. It seems to be a tradition of some sort.”

The new commander called the old one to ask what the reason was, and the previous commander said; “I don’t know. The commander before me had guards on the bench, so I just kept it going.”

After contacting three previous commanders as well, and still getting the same answer, the new commander finally found a retired General (nearly 100 years old) and asked; “Sir, I am the new commander at the base you were in charge of 60 years ago. I found two men assigned to stand guard on a bench near the mess hall. Can you please tell me why?”

After a pause, the General replied; “What? Is the paint still wet?”

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Thank tavern_knight for this one~

“So when the first pig asked the man for straw to build his house with...”

“What do you think the man was thinking?”

One of the teacher’s students in the back of the room, called out, “Fuck me, a talking pig.”

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A well planned retirement

There is a lot written about this story. Apparently, it is a long-standing myth, but such a popular story that there is a tv show in the works.

On Sun, May 9, 2021, 6:43 PM Heather Krull, <heatherkrull@gmail.com> wrote:

Don’t know if it is true, but it is delightful - h From The London Times:

A Well-Planned Retirement

Outside England ‘s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant ... The fees for cars ($1.40), for buses (about $7).

Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up; so, the zoo management called the city council and asked it to send them another parking agent. The council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo’s own responsibility. The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee.

The city council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain, or France, or Italy, is a man who’d apparently had a ticket booth installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars ... and no one even knows his name.

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