Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 479
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Some mind twisters from Uther Pendragon
Riddles – Answers at the end.
Q1. When you see 100 lawyers buried in sand up to their necks, what time is it?
Q2. What do you call the guy who graduates at the bottom of his medical-school class?
Q3. How do you keep a fish from smelling?
Q4. What is the shortest English word with 4 silent vowels?
Q5. Fill in the blanks to get a common English word. H E _ _ _ _ H E.
Q6. What do you call someone who plays the piano with his teeth?
Q8. Why did the hen visit the building site?
“Freddy, what did Daddy say when he saw the dent in the fender?”
“Should I leave out the bad words, Mommy?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Then he didn’t say anything.”
The pope died, he went to heaven, and an angel showed him to his cloud in the dorm.
Some time later, he was near the gate when a new arrival came in. He was riding a virtual limousine, and everyone applauded as he rode past.
“I don’t mean to have the sin of pride,” he told an angel after the parade had passed. “but I can’t help but compare our receptions. After all. I was the pope.”
“We have plenty of popes. That is our first lawyer.”
“Oh, Fred, please don’t Park here.”
“Oh, Fred, please don’t Park.”
“Oh, Fred, please don’t.”
“Oh, Fred, please!”
“Oh, Fred.”
“Ohh!”
The local gentry were gathered in The Crown, the local pub. Each boasted of how well he had set up his sons. Finally, the landlord broke in. “I have to admit that you all have done well by your heirs,” he said, “but I have made my son heir to The Crown,.”
In WWII, a destroyer was torpedoed, and 19 of the crew managed to get to a lifeboat. One of them had an unopened package of cigarettes, but nobody had a dry match. They finally figured out how each of them could have a smoke. they opened the pack and threw one cigarette over the side. That made the lifeboat a cigarette lighter.
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