Chapter 479

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Some mind twisters from Uther Pendragon

Riddles – Answers at the end.

Q1. When you see 100 lawyers buried in sand up to their necks, what time is it?

Q2. What do you call the guy who graduates at the bottom of his medical-school class?

Q3. How do you keep a fish from smelling?

Q4. What is the shortest English word with 4 silent vowels?

Q5. Fill in the blanks to get a common English word. H E _ _ _ _ H E.

Q6. What do you call someone who plays the piano with his teeth?

Q8. Why did the hen visit the building site?

“Freddy, what did Daddy say when he saw the dent in the fender?”

“Should I leave out the bad words, Mommy?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Then he didn’t say anything.”

The pope died, he went to heaven, and an angel showed him to his cloud in the dorm.

Some time later, he was near the gate when a new arrival came in. He was riding a virtual limousine, and everyone applauded as he rode past.

“I don’t mean to have the sin of pride,” he told an angel after the parade had passed. “but I can’t help but compare our receptions. After all. I was the pope.”

“We have plenty of popes. That is our first lawyer.”

“Oh, Fred, please don’t Park here.”
“Oh, Fred, please don’t Park.”
“Oh, Fred, please don’t.”
“Oh, Fred, please!”
“Oh, Fred.”
“Ohh!”

The local gentry were gathered in The Crown, the local pub. Each boasted of how well he had set up his sons. Finally, the landlord broke in. “I have to admit that you all have done well by your heirs,” he said, “but I have made my son heir to The Crown,.”

In WWII, a destroyer was torpedoed, and 19 of the crew managed to get to a lifeboat. One of them had an unopened package of cigarettes, but nobody had a dry match. They finally figured out how each of them could have a smoke. they opened the pack and threw one cigarette over the side. That made the lifeboat a cigarette lighter.

School was having show & tell. Johnny came up to the blackboard, picked up the chalk, and drew two dots. He put the chalk down in the tray. He turned to face the class, but he didn’t say anything for a minute.

Teacher: “Johnny, what are you telling us?”

Johnny: “You told us that these are periods, didn’t you?”

Teacher: “Yes.”

Johnny: “Well, my big sister, Katie, has missed two of them, and everybody at home is mad.”

Mary, Margaret, and Maude all taught Sunday School in the same church. They were riding together in the same car to a Sunday School Conference when a truck crashed into the car. They all died, and all arrived together at the pearly gate.

“Taught Sunday School, eh?” Saint Peter said. “That gets you in, if you taught the truth.”

“Who was the first woman?” Pete asked Mary.

“That’s an easy question,” Mary said. “The first woman was named Eve.”

A bell pealed; a light flashed. The gate swung open, and Mary strode into heaven.

“Who was the first man?” Pete asked Mary.

“That’s easy,” Martha said. “The first woman was named Adam.”

A bell pealed; a light flashed. The gate swung open, and Martha strode into heaven.

“And what did Eve say when she first saw bare Adam?” Pete asked Maude.

“Oh, that’s a hard one!” Maude said.

A bell pealed; a light flashed. The gate swung open.

Answers.

A1. Time to get more sand.

A2. Doctor.

A3. Cut off its nose.

A4. Queue

A5. Headache.

A6. An elephant.

A7. She wanted to see how they laid bricks.

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