Chapter 478

Some interesting observations from OldGreyDuck to contemplate over a few drinks this weekend.

1. Ration of an Igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi.

2. 1 millionth of a mouthwash: Microscope.

3. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup: Won Ton.

4. The time between slipping on a peel and hitting the pavement: Bananosecond.

5. Weight a televangelist carries with god: A Billigraham.

6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knotforlong.

7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer: 1 Lite Year.

8. Half a large intestine: 1 semicolan.

9. 1,000,000 aches: A megahurts.

10. Basic usint of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower.

11. The shortest distance between 2 jokes: A straightline.

12. 2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds.

13. 1000 cc’s of wet socks: 1 Literhosen.

Smokeyjoe34 was very busy coming up with this group ... Howle Thanks

A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast.

On her way over there she runs into Sister Jane and she says, “Hi Sister Jane,” by which Sister Jane says, “I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

She did not understand what Sister Jane meant by that so she ignored it and went on.

She was passing by the garden when she ran into Sister Roberta and she says, “Good morning Sister Roberta I am having a great day.

Sister Roberta says, “I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

The nun was wondering why everybody she met kept saying that when she felt great so she decides to go and see Mother Superior.

She asks Mother Superior, “Everybody keeps telling me that I got off on the wrong side of the bed this morning even though I feel great”, and the Mother Superior says, “That is because you have Brother John’s shoes on.”

Guy goes every day to the same diner, looks over the menu, and always orders the same thing: ham and eggs.

Every day, the same thing: ham and eggs.

Waitress decides to play a trick on him and scratches it from the menu.

He comes in, she says, “You know that thing you like so much? I scratched it.” “Well, wash off your hand and get me some ham and eggs.”

A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner.

Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitress’s there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.