Chapter 477

An item from Irvmull:

[Unabashedly borrowed from another website which has little traffic ‘cause it deserves sharing]

While trolling Facebook a few minutes ago I came across this remark:

From a person named Roza...”Notice how they named all the cows traditionally girl names. There is a deep connection between misogyny and consuming animals.”

One reply was “I feel like yogurt from bull wouldn’t taste quite right.”

This one from Alphqwe

I was pulled over by a cop who said “I can smell alcohol on your breath.”

I replied “That’s because you’re not social distancing!”

Say thanks to Dorsetmike for this one:

A man sees the local Vicar walking around the village which is odd because he is usually riding his bicycle.

“Good Morning Vicar, where’s your bicycle”, asks the man.

“I’m afraid someone has stolen it,” says the Vicar, “But don’t worry. I know how to get it back. Tomorrow I’m going to preach on the Ten Commandments and when I get to ‘Thou shalt not steal,’ I will look round the congregation and see who has a guilty face.”

“Good idea, Vicar,” says the man. “That should get your bicycle back.”

Two days later the man sees the Vicar riding his bicycle around the village and he says, “So it worked then Vicar.”

“Not quite,” says the Vicar. “I did preach on the Ten, Commandments like I said, but when I got to ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery,’ I remembered where I’d left my bike.”

This from Tucson:

Several years ago, the Oregon state police confiscated over a ton of marijuana.

When it came time to destroy it they went to an old saw mill an loaded it in an old slag burning cone. As the marijuana was burning a flock of terns flew through the smoke. They wheeled around and flew through the smoke several time.

They contacted a ornithologist to check the birds out. It was confirmed that not one tern was un-stoned.