Chapter 472

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A short comment from Alphqwe

I decided to try cooking with wine last night. After 6 glasses I forgot why I was in the kitchen.

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These are from the Old Old Guy Garry:

Two guys are sitting in a bar drinking. As happens they start to chat.

Finally one says, “I have to confess, I’m a masochist, I derive pleasure from receiving pain.”

The other stares at him for a moment and says “Interesting, ... I’m a sadist, I derive pleasure from giving pain. And, ... just by happenstance, this morning I received a brand new, black, real leather, 6ft bullwhip, from the bullwhip store.” (There’s a store for everything now from a-z) The masochist kind of shivers and says “That sounds like an absolutely marvelous item.”

The sadist then says “Why don’t we carry on this conversation at my place.”

They get to sadists’ home, he unlocks the door, the masochist runs past him ripping off his clothes as he goes and naked, drops to the floor on his hands and knees screaming “Whip me, whip me, whip me.”

The sadist looks at him for a moment and says... “NOOO!”

If you think that one was bad, here is a real groaner.

Several years ago, a man goes on safari. The first morning as they are getting ready to go into the jungle, his guides stop him and say “Sir you must wear your pith helmet before you go. This is the territory of the Foo bird. If the bird shits on your head and you wipe it off you will die instantly.”

The man of course knew much more than the natives and decided he didn’t need to wear his pith helmet.

About an hour later as they are walking along, a Foo bird shits right on the middle of his forehead. He reaches to wipe it off and his guide grabs his hand with absolute terror in his eyes and screams “You will die instantly if you do that, please, please believe me, for your sake, please, please believe me.”

The man shaken by the passion and terror in the guides voice becomes a believer.

Of course, when he returns home, everyone is absolutely disgusted by the glob of bird shit on his forehead. His wife divorces him, his children refuse to see him, and his business partners throw him out of the company.

Finally, laying in a gutter, his life totally destroyed, he reaches up and wipes the shit off of his head and instantly dies.

Moral of the story: If the Foo shits, wear it!

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