Chapter 470

🦠🦠🦠🦠

Thanks to Uther Pendragon for this group!

The easiest quiz in the world
1) What color is green plaster?
2) What was Rudyard Kipling’s first name?
3) The Panama Canal has one end at the Caribbean and the other end at the Pacific. Which end is further east?
4) What metal is the major component of the American nickel coin?
[Answers the bottom of the sheet.]

Superman was flying over a mountain range. He looked down and saw Wonder Woman’s plane parked on a mountain meadow. Not far away was Wonder Woman, herself. She was lying back on the grass with legs wide and her eyes closed. She looked like she was in ecstasy, and Superman decided to swoop down and surprise her.

Well, Wonder Woman was surprised, and Superman, himself, was surprised. But most surprised of all was the Invisible Man.

Zookeepers report that every wildebeest misbehaves, or, as some of them express it, “No gnus are good gnus.”

After a long police career, Don Brown got religion. He decided to join a church which questioned new members instead of just giving them a creed to recite. The questioning went like this: “Brother Don, do you believe in sin?” “Brother, I certainly believe in sin. I was a detective in the Tenderloin for years, and I saw sin by the truckload.” “Brother Don, do you believe in original sin?” “Brother, I’m afraid I don’t. I was a detective in the Tenderloin for years, and I saw sin by the truckload. Not one of those sins was original.”

In the services in another church, the pastor asked, “Is there anyone here who doesn’t have an enemy in the entire world?” One old man in the back raised a trembling hand. “That is marvelous. Can you tell us your secret.” “I outlived the dastards.”

After World War II, most Britons considered Winston Spencer Churchill a grand old man. In the period between the wars, however, he was not so old, and his contemporaries did not consider him grand at all. Once, George Bernard Shaw sent him a telegram: “I’ve left 2 tickets to opening night of my new play in your name at the box office. Come and bring a friend if you have one.”

Churchill replied: “Busy that night. Please leave 2 tickets for your second performance if you have one.”

A woman heckler at one of his speeches called out: “You’re horrible. If I were married to you, I’d put strychnine in your morning coffee.” “If you were married to me, madam, I would drink it.”

As one party was winding down, Churchill came up to a Lady and said: “You’re ugly.” “Why, Mr. Churchill, you are drunk.” “Yes, but in the morning, I’ll be sober. You will still be ugly.”

Not all his discussions with the fairer sex were so contentious. One visitor told him, “Mr. Churchill, your newborn son looks just like you.” “Madam, all babies look Just. Like. Me.”

1) Green plaster is white. After it has been applied, plaster “cures,” and until it does, it is “green.”
2) Joseph; Joseph Rudyard Kipling.
3) The eastern-most end is at the Pacific.
4) Copper. Nickel is alloyed with the copper.

🦠🦠🦠🦠