Chapter 464

This is from kenney49

Enjoyed Systems Laws and Rules in Chapter 461.

I would like to submit two more:

(Background on number 1. I worked for my father at the beginning of my engineering career. His company made engineering laboratory equipment for universities and colleges, mainly.)

1) Our mantra was: You can make things foolproof, idiot proof, and stupid proof, however it is IMPOSSIBLE to make things student proof!

This is from the days when computers occupied air-conditioned rooms and access was controlled by the priesthood called “operators”. It is known as “Kampe’s Law”;

2)There is no feature of a machine, however pathological, which cannot be exploited by a programmer. (Which is still true today!)

Say thanks to Allan B for this hilarious group...

Here’s some more

These fried insect legs really ARE the bees’ knees.

The baby looks just like his father. I wish he looked like my husband, instead.

The baby isn’t out yet. You’ll have to wait 16 years before he tells you he’s gay...

Yes, ma’am, this IS the maternity hospital, but no. We don’t have any return policy.

How can you tell if your gas station attendant used to be a porn star?

When the gas starts coming out, he pulls out the nozzle, and sprays it on the windshield...

You think of pirates as being all smiley. Actually, they’re all Somali...

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got run over.

Inside a Russian woman, there’s another Russian woman.

I was in the park the other day, watching a man feed the birds. After a while, I said to myself, “I wonder how long he’s been dead”.

I have a friend who keeps ingesting helium. You should try it ... people speak very highly...

Dear Hallmark:

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

Your cards are shit And your channel is, too.

And the award for film of the year goes to: Cling.

Cling Film.

The difference between a nurse and a patient? Well, the nurse actually has a higher chance of leaving the hospital alive

לייק

And so, 101 Dalmatians all fell asleep. Oh, wait, they’re ordinary white puppies riddled with bullets

These bacon sandwiches are delicious, said Pooh. Aren’t they, Piglet?

Piglet?

At her husband’s funeral, the woman couldn’t stop smiling. Finally, one of her friends asks her why she’s so satisfied. The new widow answered, “Finally, after 30 years, I know exactly where he is”.

She says, ““I’m starting a new diet tomorrow”.

He says, “Good luck, sweetheart. What diet is it?”

She replies, “The Religious diet”.

He asks, “What’s that?”

She says, “I eat everything that I want, and pray that nobody will see it on me”.

The teacher says to Jack, “I see that your homework has improved greatly. How did you do it?”

Jack replies, “My father has stopped helping me”.