Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 457
Allan B was nice enough to provide the following:
So a guy walks into a bar and orders a double shot of tequila. After throwing it back he orders another. He tossed that one back and asked for one more.
The bar tender then asked what the occasion was, and the man replied, “my first blow job.”
The bartend said “that’s great! Here, the next one is on the house” and he poured the man a 4th drink.
The man pushed the glass away and said “No thanks. If the first three didn’t get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will.”
A guy walks into a bar. He walks up to the Chinese bartender and says, “give me a Stoli with a twist.”
The bartender says, “OK, once upon a time there were 4 bears...”
3 dogs are in adjacent cages at the veterinarian. The dogs start discussing their situations.
One dog offers, “Man, I really blew it. I chewed up the brand new couch and my owners said it was the last straw, so they brought me here to be put down. What about you guys?”
The next dog says, “I bit the mailman for the last time. My owners said they couldn’t risk it anymore, so they brought me here to be put down.”
“Bummer,” says the first dog.
“yeah, I know,” replies the second.
They both look at the third dog, “what about you, what’s your story?”
“Well, my master’s wife likes to do housework in the nude. This morning she was scrubbing the kitchen floor on her hands and knees when I came thru the kitchen door. I looked at her and couldn’t help myself. I just ran over there and started humping her like crazy.”
“Oh my,” exclaimed the first 2 dogs, “I can understand why she would want to put you down for that.”
“Oh, I’m not here to be put down, she dropped me off to get my nails trimmed.”
“Doctor,” the embarrassed man said, “I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore.”
“Mr. Garrett, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.”
The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife.
“Take off your clothes, Mrs. Garrett,” the medic said. “Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on.”
The doctor took the husband aside. “You’re in perfect health,” he said. “Your wife didn’t give me an erection either.”
A priest goes duck hunting with a friend. They are in the duck blind when one flies by. The friend takes a shot and misses.
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