Chapter 455

Thanks to Allan B for this submission:

humor ... such as it is

I recently bought a bag of air. The company that made it was nice enough to put in a few potato chips...

How many thin mints do you have to eat before they start working?

My wife just stopped and said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?”

I thought to myself, “That’s a pretty weird way to start a conversation.”

Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.

If stupidity were a disability, I know a few people who’d be getting monthly checks...

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I might as well pee, as long as I’m here”.

Pharmacist to a customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing your marriage certificate and your wife’s picture is not enough.”