Chapter 453

From Uther Pendragon
2 Real old ones:?

“A B C D Goldfish?”

“L M N O Goldfish.”

“O S A R.”

A jolly old fellow from Lyme
Married three wives at a time.
When asked, “Why the third?”
He said, “One is absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime.”?

Growing old is obligatory. Growing up is optional.

“Mommy, why can we land a helicopter on Mars, and we can’t turn on a light in Texas?”
“Because Mars is run by scientists, and Texas is run by Republicans.”

Her first-year teaching, Miss Smith is sent to a tiny backwoods school and told that she would be expected to visit her students homes sometime during the year.
She started the first day of class asking the students’ names.
“I’m Gooey,” said the fifth boy.
“That’s a nickname. What is your real name?”
“It’s Gooey.”
Naturally, the first family she went to visit was Gooey’s. She knew enough to make some social conversation first, but soon enough got to the question which had brought her there,
“Mrs., Jones, what is Gooey’s real name?”
“Why that’s his real name.”
Miss Smith waited for a while, but she didn’t give up.
“Mrs. Jones, how do you spell ‘Gooey’?”
“You’re a teacher and you can’t spell! Why G U Y, of course.”