Chapter 435

One from Dorsetmike, answer the questions in your mind, then read the answers. No cheating!!!!!

An Aussie lady who was kind but not very well-educated was sent on her way to Heaven.

Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.

‘I’m sorry, ‘St Peter said; ‘But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.’

‘That’s cool’ said the lady, ‘What does the Entrance Exam consist of?’

‘Just three questions’ said St Peter.

‘Which are?’ asked the lady.

‘The first,’ said St Peter, ‘is, which two days of the week start with the letter ‘T’?

The second is ‘How many seconds are there in a year’?

The third is ‘What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?’

‘Now,’ said St Peter, ‘Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.’

So the lady went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought.

The following morning, St Peter called upon the lady and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, ‘I have.’

‘Well then,’ said St Peter, ‘Which two days of the week start with the letter T?’

The lady said, ‘Today and tomorrow.’

St Peter pondered this answer for some time and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

‘Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions’ St Peter went on, ‘how many seconds in a year?’

The lady replied, ‘Twelve!’

‘Only twelve’ exclaimed St Peter, ‘how did you arrive at that figure?’

‘Easy,’ said the lady, ‘there’s the second of January, the second of February, and right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.’

St Peter looked at the lady and said, ‘I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.’

And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the lady. ‘I’ll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?’

The lady replied: ‘Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.’

‘Really!’ exclaimed St Peter, ‘And what is the answer?’

‘It’s Andy.’

‘Andy?’

Yes, Andy,’ said the lady.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the lady, asked ‘How in God’s name did you arrive at THAT answer?’

‘Easy’ said the lady. ‘Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.

And the lady entered Heaven.

Cheers MIKE

✧ ✧ ✧

A thought from Uther Pendragon

The hardest job in agriculture:

Milking almonds.