Chapter 434

Short one from Red Dog:

Blind guy walks into Walmart when the his seeing eye dog, walks to the center aisle, picks the dog up by the tail and starts swinging him around.

Manager runs over and asks him what he’s doing, guy says, “we’re just looking around”.

Say thanks to Hitemp for this one:

So my son and I were at the hardware store earlier. We were getting a bike tire repair kit, and he noticed a bike compass. Commenting on it, he said “It’s working properly.”

I said, “that’s because it’s not a Tate’s compass.”

He looked at me funny, so I decided to give him a little history lesson.

“Emmanuel Tate was an immigrant from Europe in the late 1800s. After landing at Ellis Island, he traveled all around the Americas (mostly because he could never get his bearings) with a compass he had created himself. After an arduous trek from Mexico to Canada (while looking for Detroit), Tate finally settled down in Kansas, where he founded the Tate Compass Company. Using his self-taught skills, Tate cranked out a series of compasses, none of which ever worked, often sending their users in vastly different directions than they had hoped for. Regardless of this massive inconvenience, the compasses had an almost cult following for a while, until WWI, when Prince Ferdinand’s driver was using a Tate’s to drive the monarch through town. All but forgotten now, the Tate legacy still lives on, as everybody knows that, ‘He Who Has A Tate’s Is Lost’.”

Send a smile to netmanager99 for this one:

What is the difference between a blimp and 500 used condoms?

One is a Goodyear; the other is a very good year.