Chapter 421

“Rubber Company“

Struthers was assigned to show an important stockholder around the rubber goods factory. The woman nodded approvingly when shown the giant machine which spit out an endless stream of rubber nipples.

“One of our steady sellers, a lot of babies being born these days,” Struthers explained.

Not much later the stockholder inquired as to the functions of another huge machine spitting out little rubber discs. “Condoms,” Struthers informed her. “Big sellers, too.”

“Understandably,” she commented. “But why’s that needle coming down and punching a little hole in every other one?”

“Well,” he whispered conspiratorially, “we can’t let the nipple business go downhill, now can we?”

A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, “Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like ‘yes, I see,’ and ‘yes, go on,’ and ‘I understand.’

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, “Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than slapping your knee and saying, “No shit, what happened next?”