Jokes and Giggles Part Two - Cover

Jokes and Giggles Part Two

Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt

Chapter 414

On a lighter note, here’s something on which we can all agree:
The vaccine should be tested on politicians first.
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don’t, the country is safe.

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She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the T-shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment. My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!” Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards, she said, ‘Thanks’, and re-turned to the stove. Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?” She explained, “The egg timer’s broken.”

✧ ✧ ✧

An Interesting Observation from Netmanager
The Supreme Court is now Ruthless.


Why are politicians rarely circumcised?
These days in order to be a politician you have to be a complete dick.
The same thing can be said for most bosses.

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It’s hard to make a comeback When you haven’t been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, AZ

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Make love, not war. Hell, do both GET MARRIED!
Women’s restroom The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT

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If voting could really change things, It would be illegal. Revolution Books New York, New York.

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If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
Men’s restroom House of Representatives, Washington, DC

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Express Lane: Five beers or less.
Sign over one of the urinals Ed Debevic’s, Phoenix, AZ

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You’re too good for him...
Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills, CA

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No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom, Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills, CA

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~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~
A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, You’re going to have trouble with it.
Women’s restroom Dick’s Last Resort, Dallas, TX 0A

✧ ✧ ✧

HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


... AND MY FAVORITE

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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